Blood choked in her throat, Aoife uncontrollably coughed, blood spraying directly onto Finn’s face.
“Aoife!” Finn had never seen someone vomit so much blood. He reached out to cover her, only to end up with a handful of blood.
Half-squinting her eyes, Aoife felt as if in a trance, it hurts… it’s so uncomfortable…
She wanted to push away the man who had trapped her for life, but she couldn’t push him away.
A surge of blood continued to flow from her mouth, staining Finn’s shirt and part of Aoife’s face, like a fish on the brink of suffocation, convulsing from the pain.
Finn panicked, shouting at the people around him, “Call an ambulance! Quickly, call an ambulance!”
“Aoife…” a choked voice from her throat, Finn embraced Aoife, she was so light, not the weight of an adult. He effortlessly picked her up, not breaking a sweat.
Finn choked, “Don’t leave me… I beg you, don’t leave me…”
The ambulance arrived quickly, rushing to the hospital without obstruction. Finn stayed by Aoife’s side, afraid… afraid that she would be gone with the blink of an eye.
It was still daytime, just past noon, but Aoife seemed to see the stars that only appeared in the night.
One star shone the brightest, shining into her heart, dispelling all darkness and cold.
She wanted to reach out, but her arm couldn’t muster the strength, lifting her fingers gently, trying to grasp the star in the sky, but it was too far away.
The star returned to the vast sky, that was freedom.
But there was no light in her heart.
Ethan, without you in this world, how can I go on… living is so tiring, so tiring…
After the intense heartache, the stress response caused her vision to darken. For a while, she dared not breathe, because what she inhaled was not air but a thousand ice needles, stabbing her brain, eyes half-closed tightly shut, lips as pale as her face, she was in Finn’s arms, body trembling.
Finn grabbed Aoife’s hand, wanting to comfort her, but her hands had no warmth, cold like a dead person, leaving him inexplicably anxious.
“Aoife…”
“Aoife”-a name Ethan often called her-Aoife’s heavy head swayed with a daze, feeling everything before her, as if losing all sense, unable to distinguish between reality and dreams.
She was like a turtle retracting into its shell, trying to escape everything, with many images flashing before her eyes like a carousel.
Ethan’s smile, calling her “Aoife,” them embracing to keep warm in the cold winter, her unable to eat due to pregnancy, him leaving every morning before 5 am to queue for porridge for her, gently touching her belly and saying he would be the baby’s dad, his fingertips playing the piano, kneeling with a ring in hand proposing…
He told her she didn’t have to be anyone, not a red rose but a wildflower would do.
He also told her, kind people will be rewarded, just be kind and heaven will make arrangements.
But heaven always seemed to dislike those who lived well, never giving kind people a shred of reward.
Ethan, we were wrong…
Perhaps we should have been ruthless from the start; kind people will only be bullied.
-“Keep mulling over it, and you’ll hit a wall.”
-“Aoife, give me a smile.”
-“Aoife, marry me, I want to give you a home…”
-“Forget about roses, you’re not a stand-in for anyone, you’re just you, not everyone’s favorite, being yourself is fine, isn’t looking up at the sky more broadening?”
-“Aoife, you’re really beautiful, I mean it, not just your face; like fireworks in the sky, your eyes are even more beautiful than fireworks.”
-“What you keep in mind will surely be remembered.”
-“I suddenly fear an accident coming. If one day I’m not by your side, who will protect you?”
-“Aoife, the stars are always there, and Ethan will always be there.”
Aoife couldn’t see anything in her eyes, fraud… promising to always be there, but where are you? Ethan, where are you, how can I find you, so many stars in the sky, which one is you?
Pain surged through Aoife’s heart like a tide, overwhelming her, making it difficult for her to breathe. She couldn’t shed tears anymore, her lips muttering as she spit out more blood.
“Doctor! She’s vomiting blood again!” Finn shouted in horror.
The doctor by her side quickly opened Aoife’s mouth, his face solemn, “The patient is unconsciously biting her tongue…”
That’s why there was so much blood coming out, he forcefully opened her mouth, unable to insert anything, fearing it might cause suffocation.
Finn glanced into Aoife’s mouth, all bloody, unable to see the wound clearly, only feeling the blood was abundant.
Aoife was unaware of her actions, not feeling the pain of biting her tongue, as the pain in her heart was thousands of times worse than the tongue injury.
Falling into a sleep, Aoife dreamt of the first time she met Ethan.
They met on set, in the eyes of the crew, Ethan was a rebellious little wolf, bold, with an air of arrogance that no one dared provoke.
Smiling to him on the surface, but mocking behind his back, he deserved it.
He was straightforward, unaware of flexibility, not liking to socialize, just doing his job honestly.
What people didn’t know was that the Ethan who was difficult to get along with was a light to many, quietly encouraging many, constant in charitable donations, all done anonymously, and he was also often scammed.
This hard-to-get-along-with person was actually very easy to please, the simple egg fried rice Aoife casually made, he took a bite and liked it.
He didn’t mind her background, nor did he treat her well just to exploit her better like Finn did.
Ethan was simple, as long as he ate a meal she cooked, he was satisfied.
The time abroad was the happiest and most carefree time for Aoife, after she got pregnant, Ethan who only cared about eating her cooking, who had never touched firewood, rice, oil, salt, vinegar, and tea, began learning to cook, do housework, and please her stomach.
He was clumsy in learning, often cutting himself while cooking, his hands full of oil burns, once he burned the fire too high, almost singeing off his eyebrows.
Ethan cooking was like going to war, clearly afraid, but at the thought of Aoife, he exerted himself to cook.
June or midsummer, a time when the weather should be hot and lively, now seemed like a cool February, autumn hadn’t arrived, but the sky had turned cold.
Ethan’s death was like this sudden unexpected thunderstorm, unpredictable yet inevitable.
Stars can only be seen at night, but Aoife and Ethan, in this life, would never see each other again.
That overflowing warmth, the almost spilling out, joyful feeling in her heart, will never happen again.