Aoife cursed Ethan without knowing his death. If she had known…
Finn’s heart grew cold, his tongue as if seized by an eagle, rendering him speechless.
The coldness in his heart spread through his limbs, even his scalp felt numb. He tried to change the subject, but all he could think of was Aoife’s curse and Ethan’s death.
“Aoife, let’s have a child. That way, you’ll have family.”
Aoife wanted to laugh at Finn’s audacity to bring up having a child in such a situation.
Finn paused, then added, “It doesn’t have to be yours. We can adopt from an orphanage, or find a surrogate abroad.”
Finn felt anxious, waiting for an answer for the first time. He didn’t know how to keep Aoife.
Aoife despised him to the core, in her heart, perhaps he represented the despair of a winter without warmth, the sorrow of darkness without light.
He had never felt the need to hold onto someone this badly, so he resorted to using a child to keep her.
Aoife’s eyes moved up and down, observing Finn.
This Finn, with a nauseatingly fake look of care on his face, pretending so well, as if he wasn’t the one who had pinned her down in the bathroom.
Giving a slap and then a candy, she never sought the tenderness of an abuser, it was revolting. If she accepted it, all the pain she went through would be deserved; she was cheap!
She had been cheap for too long. In that moment Finn delivered her to Hamish, she woke up.
“Finn, what do you think life is? To treat it so poorly?”
Finn was at a loss for words, he didn’t intend to mistreat life, he only wanted to distract Aoife, to keep her from veering down the path of “slow suicide.”
People inevitably cling to their initial judgments, and Finn was no exception. He couldn’t let go of Aoife.
Linda had prepared porridge for the evening, knowing Aoife had woken up, she went to heat it up and bring it to her.
Linda intended to feed Aoife herself, but Finn snatched the bowl as soon as she picked it up.
Aoife leaned against the headboard, her lower back pressed against a soft pillow, her face as pale as the wall behind her, devoid of any color.
Finn scooped up a spoonful, blew on it, then offered it to Aoife’s lips, “Eat something, don’t harm yourself.”
Aoife sneered, her body had long been harmed, not just her body, even her heart was rotten, like a decaying orange, like worms in a sewer.
Aoife turned her head, closed her eyes, she didn’t want to see Finn, out of sight, out of mind.
Finn’s hand awkwardly hung in the air, neither feeding nor withdrawing.
“Linda just made this porridge, with your favorite red dates to nourish your blood.”
Aoife had no appetite, no matter how much she loved something, if it was handed to her by Finn, it was poison.
Finn didn’t want to anger Aoife. He was used to giving a slap and then a sweet date. He lacked patience, if it were before, he might have thrown the bowl and lost his temper. But now, he held back out of guilt towards Aoife, thinking of the wounds on her body, all because of him.
Ethan’s death made him even more uneasy, fearing Aoife would find out.
Finn coaxed her patiently, “Come on, open your mouth…”
Aoife kept her eyes closed. Just as the atmosphere was about to become unbearable, Linda spoke up.
“Mr. Snearl, let me do it.” She feared if she didn’t speak up, Finn would hit Aoife again.
Aoife was already pitiful enough, another hit could kill her.
Finn handed the bowl to Linda, she scooped up a spoonful of porridge, pleading, “Miss Powell, have some.”
Aoife opened her eyes, looking at the porridge in the spoon, and reluctantly ate it.
Finn’s heart felt tight, watching Aoife eat most of the bowl, he said, “The school has granted you leave recently, you must stay at home and not go out.”
Without waiting for Aoife’s reply, he turned and left.
Linda fed Aoife a spoonful, and she ate until the bowl was empty. Linda asked, “Miss Powell, do you want more?”
Aoife shook her head, “I can’t eat anymore.”
She had forced herself to finish that bowl, her stomach turning, clenching her teeth to keep the food down.
Linda held the bowl, feeling hesitant, she finally said, “Miss Powell, it’s better to listen to Finn in everything. Since you can’t escape, you might as well cooperate and make things easier for yourself.”
Listen? She had grown tired of those two words long ago. It was because she listened that Finn had kept her like a pet here. It was because she listened that the people around her kept getting hurt.
“Linda, you tell me to listen, why don’t you advise him to be kind?”
Aoife drooped, looking tired, “Besides, Linda, I never thought I could live better by Finn’s side. If possible, I’d rather have Finn kill me.”
Linda felt a pang in her heart, the one who hasn’t tasted bitterness, shouldn’t advise others on kindness. She understood this principle, but she just wanted Aoife to have a slightly better life. She never expected that living was despair for Aoife.
Linda looked at Aoife, exhausted, cleared the bowl and left the room, giving Aoife space to rest.
Aoife touched her stomach, feeling full to the point of wanting to throw up. After eating and speaking for a while, she was awake. She reached for her phone but found no internet, so she could only check the time.
She threw her phone aside, her cold hands withdrawing into the bed, trembling.
June 1st, Aoife had forgotten such a day, everyone knew it was Children’s Day, but no one cared that it was Aoife’s birthday.
If Finn hadn’t reminded her, she would have forgotten that her birthday was just a few hours away.
Ethan’s birthday was on May 30th, hers on June 1st, a day apart.
Last winter, they talked about each other’s birthdays and agreed to celebrate together. So they decided to celebrate on the 31st, go to the beach, feel the evening breeze, watch the stars together. If there were no stars, they’d wait for the sunrise at six over the horizon. And if even the sun didn’t show, and it rained, they’d share an umbrella, have hotpot in the rain, sing birthday songs to each other, and give blessings…
A year had passed quickly, things had changed, and Ethan, how was he doing? Would he hate this world, resent her, dislike her?
On May 30th, she was supposed to wish Ethan a happy birthday, but all she could do was watch from afar, then wave goodbye.
Little did she know that this goodbye would be permanent, she would never see Ethan again.
That proud Ethan died in this May.