He didn’t distrust Elisa, but rather he doubted his own ability to love Elisa. When he cared for Elisa, he chose to ignore that concern. Now, even Hamish knows that even if he didn’t have lung cancer, he couldn’t possibly change Elisa over a lifetime. If it were him being treated like that, he would have killed the other person long ago. He couldn’t bear someone like himself, so how could Elisa accept it? It’s just like what Elisa said at the beginning. “I just treated him the way he treated me back then. He couldn’t stand it so quickly.” Not every “I’m sorry” can be forgiven, and not every hurt can heal.
“Elisa, do you know why I tested the White family in this way?” When Hamish was telling Elisa where he was going to relax before, she felt like flies were buzzing in her ears, annoying and disgusting. Now he suddenly changed the subject, looking serious as if he wanted to have a serious conversation.
“I didn’t cut Ivan’s hand,” Hamish said, staring at Elisa’s face intently.
Surprisingly, there was no extra expression on her face, not even a blink of her eyes. She didn’t show any mockery, suspicion, or past resentment. It was so calm that it was unexpected.
“I know it wasn’t you,” she said.
Hamish’s pupils contracted. “How did you know?”
“Because… you said it wasn’t you who did it, that you didn’t cut Ivan’s hand.”
At that time, she hated Hamish so much. Hamish forced her family into bankruptcy, indirectly causing her father to commit suicide by jumping from a building, and used Ivan to threaten her. After Ivan’s right hand was cut, she even suspected that Hamish did it. Because Hamish’s most common method of threatening her was to use Ivan to do so. He knew her weaknesses, that she cared about her family, even if they treated her badly. The words Koby said about watching her brother before he jumped became the rope around her neck. Under extreme hatred towards Hamish and his frequent use of Ivan to threaten her, with so many factors of suspicion, when Hamish said he didn’t cut Ivan’s hand, she still believed him.
Did she still love him at that time? No. She just understood Hamish. It was something he would do. He wouldn’t stoop so low as to deceive her about Ivan’s hand, and cutting off Ivan’s hand was an easy task for him.
Now Hamish was quiet. He thought Elisa divorced him because she believed Ivan’s hand was cut by him and went to court with him. But it wasn’t so. Clearly, Elisa believed him, but he couldn’t be happy. He only knew that Elisa had already given up on him long ago.
“Don’t you want to know who cut Ivan’s hand?” he asked.
“I don’t care. You used to call me despicable, and I am indeed despicable. I sold my freedom for that kind of family. After being betrayed once almost cost me my life, do you think I still care about him? Even if no one cut off his hand, I would have done it myself. As it turns out, losing a hand can really cure a gambling addiction.”
She treated Ivan just like she treated Hamish, and she had had enough of being a saint. So, when a voice claiming to be a deity appeared after her death, she said such a thing. Being indifferent and unbound by emotions, not loving anyone, not caring about anyone. The reality was very different from what she said. There’s a saying, “Ideals are full, reality is stark.” But she didn’t regret falling in love with Louis. But she really didn’t care about Ivan anymore. Even if Ivan regretted and shed tears after her death, she wouldn’t choose to forgive him. The taste of being betrayed by a loved one is unbearable. When Ivan chose to abandon her in the underground casino, he should have been prepared for her “inability to return.” “Inability to return” not only refers to her person, but also to her heart. Once it’s lost, it can’t be regained, because someone who has been cast aside fears being abandoned a second time.
Hamish choked up, and after a moment he said, “Even if you don’t want to know, I have to tell you. Louis cut off Ivan’s hand. When he was still in my house, his name was Deacon. He was raised by the family’s henchmen from a young age, they taught him how to fight at the age of three, and he shed plenty of blood. Living in a center of violence from a young age, it’s possible that he has violence ingrained in him.”
Hamish didn’t say this to sow discord between her and Louis. He just wanted to say what he wanted to say.
“You see, he knew Ivan was your real brother, yet he still went after him, directly cutting off his right hand. Severe blood loss can be fatal.”
Louis cut off Ivan’s hand back then? Elisa just furrowed her brow slightly and then let it go. Even if it was Louis who did it at the beginning, so what?