Elisa remained silent for a while, tears uncontrollably streaming down her face. “Why do you have to treat me like this?”
“I don’t want to, but I have to do this in order to keep you by my side,” he replied.
Elisa knew he had hardened his heart to the point of wanting to terminate the child she carried. Her emotions fluctuated rapidly, her complexion growing increasingly pale.
“Then, can I just stay by your side?” she asked hoarsely. “Can’t we keep this baby?”
Hamish shook his head, wordlessly indicating it wasn’t possible.
This was her child, a life inside her, her solace. Elisa couldn’t understand why Hamish would rather adopt from an orphanage than let her keep their baby. Did he find her repulsive?
Elisa glanced at the corridor outside and the windows of the hospital room. Her actions made Hamish instantly understand her thoughts.
“This is the twelfth floor. You can’t escape. I’ll have someone watching you until you have the abortion,” he said, with a ruthless tone that seemed absurd coming from a man who once professed to love her so deeply.
It wasn’t just Hamish who was ludicrous, but also herself. She had presumed she held great importance in Hamish’s heart, but she was merely an insignificant existence, easily blown away by the wind.
“Fine, I’ll have the abortion,” she said.
A flicker of surprise crossed Hamish’s eyes. He hadn’t expected Elisa to agree so quickly. He thought she would love their child and be reluctant. He had even contemplated forcibly drugging her for the abortion.
His emotions were like a shattered spice rack, a mix of all flavors, bitter to the core.
“I’m glad you’ve come to terms with it,” he said.
“Come to terms?” Elisa mocked inwardly, but her expression remained unchanged. “But I request a postponement of the procedure. I’m not feeling well, and the operation poses too much risk.”
“Until when?” he asked.
“A week from now.” Seeing the concern in Hamish’s eyes, Elisa didn’t believe he was worried about her health; instead, he feared she might change her mind about the abortion.
“Don’t worry, I will sign the surgical agreement sent by the doctor tomorrow morning.”
Her indifferent tone felt like a knife thrust into his heart. It hurt, but he understood that he had brought it upon himself. He didn’t even have the right to cry out in pain.
“You’re right, this child shouldn’t come into the world. It’s not good for us, and it’s not responsible to bring a child into a world where I, with memory loss and disabled hands, can’t protect them.”
What did she mean by “can’t protect them”?
Hamish didn’t dare to ask further.
Elisa ignored him, muttering to herself before pulling the blanket over her head, curling up in bed, feeling like a hedgehog, lacking a sense of security.
Unable to sleep, Elisa lay there, her hand on her belly. “Don’t worry, Mom won’t let you die.”
A four-month-old fetus couldn’t respond to her words, unable to move.
The next morning, the doctor brought the surgical agreement. Elisa checked the date for the operation, realizing she had a week to prepare to escape from this place.
Hamish stood by, watching Elisa sign the document without hesitation, his heart growing heavier for reasons he couldn’t understand.
“I want to rest at the villa. I don’t like being in the hospital,” Elisa said. Whether before or after her memory loss, she detested being hospitalized. She didn’t want to open her eyes to a world of white or breathe the scent of disinfectant.
The hospital was a place of farewells and deaths, suffocating even in its corners.
Hamish didn’t immediately agree, clearly hesitant.
Elisa tossed her long hair and sneered, “I’m a mentally unstable amnesiac patient, a stranger to Chiwood. Do you think I can escape your surveillance?”
His eyes tightened. “I’ll take you back.”
… That afternoon, Hamish took Elisa out of the hospital and back to the villa.
Elisa was cold, her gaze toward Hamish devoid of the previous tenderness, even scornful in her pretense. She exuded an unmistakable “stay away from me” message, leaving Hamish unable to approach.
“I don’t want to see you for a while,” Elisa said directly.
“I’m a patient. I have surgery in a week, and I don’t know how risky it is. All I can do is try to maintain my composure to reduce the risks. You wouldn’t want something to happen during the operation, would you?”
“When can we meet then?” he asked.
“If possible, I hope we never have to meet again in our lifetimes. Hamish, Ialready started to detest you. I don’t want to turn all my love for you into hate. So please, don’t come back for a week. Don’t let me see you.”
Hamish was heartbroken, finding it difficult to breathe, but this was the best outcome for him, considering he had deceived her.
“Alright, we’ll meet on the day of the surgery,” Hamish said, turning to leave. He walked slowly, hoping to hear a goodbye from Elisa, but he didn’t hear anything, not even as he got into the car and drove away.
He looked back at the second-floor bedroom window, the curtains drawn tightly shut.
Bitterness filled Hamish’s heart. He could only slowly endure and eventually accept this outcome. Self-consolation was no longer of any use.
He hadn’t considered that Elisa would leave during this time, after all, there were servants watching over her at home, and the villa was under surveillance.
Most importantly, as Elisa had said, she was handicapped, with memory loss and knew nothing about Chiwood. Where could she possibly go?
Elisa stood motionless behind the patterned sheer curtain, able to see outside but ensuring no one could see in.
She watched the distant car outside, feeling Hamish’s gaze, even though she couldn’t see him anymore as he had already gotten into the car.
After some time, Hamish stepped on the gas, and the car slowly turned and drove away.
“Goodbye, Hamish,” she said. The phrase “goodbye” usually implied the hope of meeting again, but her words held no such sentiment.
Elisa abruptly pulled the curtain open and watched the car drive further and further away. Her eyes dimmed gradually until the car disappeared from her sight.
Leaning against the wall, she retched, tasting the bitterness in her mouth. She truly loved Hamish, but she was determined to leave him. She couldn’t sit idly by as he removed her child and trapped her like a bird in a cage, with no freedom.
She had been in a daze for almost three months due to her amnesia, and it was enough.