Elisa fell into fear, not even knowing what she was afraid of, perhaps it was the fear that the dream was real, the fear that she and Hamish wouldn’t make it to the end.
Elisa loved Hamish, that was something she couldn’t deny. She found herself torn between wanting to get closer to the truth and fearing what that truth might be.
If Hamish had been lying to her since the day she woke up with amnesia, how would she cope?
It was like a bird finally escaping its cage, only to find itself caught in an even larger net, and not just any net, one that seemed ready to pounce. It felt like any wrong move could lead to her demise.
Elisa could only console herself with the thought that Hamish had kept things from her to protect her. After all, Hamish truly loved her.
Because Elisa had been having frequent nightmares, Hamish had called Caleb over, and by the time dawn broke, they were both up.
“It’s still early. Why don’t you get some more sleep?” Hamish asked.
“I can’t fall back asleep once I’m awake,” she replied. She hadn’t slept since being startled awake by the nightmare in the middle of the night.
Hamish cleared his throat, looking at Elisa’s weary face. Unable to contain himself, he probed, “Can you still remember the nightmare you had last night?”
Elisa shook her head. “I can’t remember.”
“I thought you might be able to recover your memory…”
Elisa stared at him, her voice neither warm nor cold as she asked, “Do you want me to remember?”
“Let’s just let things take their course,” Hamish said, raising a hand to run it through her soft hair.
She nodded in response to Hamish’s words. “Yes, I think it’s best to let things take their course. If I can’t remember, then so be it. After all, it’s in the past. Now I have you, and I believe you will always treat me well, never deceive me, and never bring me pain, right?”
Hamish’s expression froze. Even the hand that had been caressing her hair came to a halt, his gentle expression suddenly turning uneasy.
Her words struck him like a sharp blade, piercing him to the core. The pain in his chest seemed to spread throughout his body. He reached out and pulled Elisa into his arms, his arms trembling for some unknown reason.
The pain he had inflicted upon Elisa was one of deceit, lies, and suffering, not to mention the countless moments of despair.
He couldn’t turn back, even if it meant facing immense challenges ahead. Even if it meant dragging Elisa into an inferno, he had to continue forward.
“Elisa, I will love you sincerely,” he promised her.
Love was like a thunderous storm in his chest, yet it was also as light as a breeze on his lips. Anyone could speak of it, but few were willing to give everything for it.
Hamish was obstinate by nature, having lived in a loveless environment for years. He longed for deep love, to be loved. Though he had possessed it before, he had failed to cherish it, which led him to resort to imprisoning Elisa like a pet, keeping her in a cage as his possession.
He could never be forgiving in his love for Elisa, and he could never let go. Despicable as it might be, shameless as it might seem, all he wanted was Elisa.
…
At the dining table, Elisa absentmindedly ate her breakfast. Everything seemed normal, but she could sense that something was changing.
In the morning, Caleb came over to check on Elisa, asking her how she had been lately, like an old friend he hadn’t seen in a long time. Hamish hadn’t given Caleb many chances to chat with Elisa.
After lunch, everyone went about their own business. Elisa finished her stomach medicine and felt drowsy from its effects.
“If you want to sleep, go ahead,” Hamish said.
Elisa softly acknowledged with a “Mmm”, rubbing her drowsy eyes. She usually took a nap at this time, and if she could, she would.
Once Elisa had gone to bed, Hamish and Caleb went into the living room.
“Why did you call me over this time?” Caleb casually asked as he sat down.
“Do you have any drugs that can control dreams?” Hamish asked with a serious expression.
“What do you mean?” Caleb’s back tensed slightly as he looked at Hamish.
“She’s been having frequent nightmares lately. Last night, she even called out a person’s name in her sleep. I’m afraid…”
Before Hamish could finish, Caleb interrupted with a sneer, “You, afraid? Just because she’s having nightmares? Since when did you become such a coward? Taking those drugs always leads to vivid dreamsHamish’s eyelashes flickered. When it came to matters of the heart, he was always cautious, always on edge. He had made it clear to Caleb that if Elisa ever regained her memory, she would leave him, and he was afraid of Elisa leaving.
Curious, Caleb asked, “Whose name did she call out last night? Is that person important?”
“The name she called out in her dream is someone you wouldn’t know,” a name that he reluctantly admitted was significant.
Caleb understood from his expression. “What do you need me to do?”
“The medication she took last night seems to have lost its effect. Could you prescribe some other nerve-disturbing drugs, or increase the dosage?”
“We can’t increase the dosage. Do you want her to become a simpleton?”
“If it means she won’t leave me, I’d rather have her as a simpleton!” The last two words almost seemed to be squeezed out through gritted teeth.
Caleb stiffened, looking at Hamish’s reddened eyes. He felt like he was dealing with a madman to hear such words.
The damage Hamish had caused Elisa was irreparable, and the hurtful words he had spoken were just the tip of the iceberg.
“Meow~” A cat’s cry from outside interrupted their conversation and Hamish’s thoughts.
Hamish walked towards the door. “Regardless of hypnosis or medication, I don’t want Elisa to remember anything. You’d better find a way to stop her from having these dreams…”
“Easy for you to say. How can dreams be controlled?”
The continuous cat cries outside the door caught Hamish’s attention. As he reached for the door handle and glanced outside, he suddenly froze. A cold sweat broke out all over his back.
A sense of extreme panic gripped him, as if a hand had seized his throat, rendering him motionless. His eyes stared blankly at Elisa standing outside, holding a cat.
A black despair hung overhead, suffocating, making it hard to breathe. His throat tightened, and his eyelashes trembled gently.
“Elisa…” He took a step forward, as if to reach out to her.
But Elisa, watching his movement, staggered back a step, a movement that felt like drawing a line, fearing his approach.
Hamish clenched his fists, unable to utter a word, stiff as if struck dumb.
Caleb, still in the room and unable to see what was happening outside, found it strange that Hamish had been standing at the door the whole time.
As he approached, he said, “What’s…?” He froze too. Why was Elisa here? Didn’t Hamish say she had already gone to sleep? How long had she been here, and how much had she heard?
Various questions crowded his mind, and soon Elisa answered the questions in his mind.
“Hamish, you promised you wouldn’t lie to me.”
Hamish struggled to speak. “I…”
Elisa, on the verge of tears, her eyes brimming with tears that finally spilled over, unable to withstand the trembling of her pupils.
The cat in her arms seemed to sense her sadness, meowing uneasily, then wriggling free and running away.
“Why are you giving me nerve-disturbing drugs? Why do you have to make me forget, even if it means turning me into a simpleton?” Her mind was buzzing at this moment, unable to focus, all stuck on the words Hamish had spoken.
He had been lying to her all along, treating her like a fool, trapping her here. She had feared this day, but she had never dared to believe that Hamish, who loved her, would deceive her.
“Elisa, let me explain. It’s not what you think…”
“Then tell me what it is!” Elisa’s eyes were red as she shouted, her nerves, which had been taut, suddenly snapping. “Hamish, what have you said that’s true? On one hand, you claim to love me and vow never to deceive or betray me, and on the other, you’ve woven a web of lies from start to finish. Do you know? I’m so scared. I’m afraid that I’ve given my heart while living in a lie. I’m afraid that I’ve entrusted myself to you, only to receive a fatal blow. I’m afraid that the one who brought me hope will drag me into despair!”
Elisa’s voice had long been choked up, tears streaming down her face as she sobbed, “I have nothing left… except for this heart in my chest, do you understand?”
During this period, she had been deceiving herself, not afraid of nightmares, but afraid that everything in the dreams was real.
She loved Hamish and believed that he loved her too, but when she overheard the conversation between Hamish and Caleb in the waiting room, her heart sank continuously, plummeting into an unfathomable abyss.
She vividly remembered every word he had said, especially, “If she could stay with me, I’d rather she become a fool.”
Hamish stood there in silence, his eyes filled with sorrow as he gazed at her, as if she had done something to hurt him.
“Speak, which of your words are true and which are false?”
Elisa wiped the tears from her face. “Was our marriage fake? Is my orphan identity something you fabricated? And what about the encounters, the accident, and everything between us – were they all lies?”
Every question from Elisa was like a stab to her heart, tearing at a wound that only caused more pain, the kind of pain that enveloped her entire being.
She felt so sad, that despite their apparent closeness, the bond between them was built on lies. Now that the lies had shattered, there was nothing left between them.
Like a dried stone, seemingly solid but crumbling at a touch.
“Elisa, I did all this for your own good, for our future. You said you loved me and wouldn’t leave me,” Hamish urgently stepped forward, raising his hand, only to be met with a harsh slap from Elisa, pushing his hand away without mercy.
“Don’t touch me!” At that moment, Elisa was like a hedgehog with its spines raised, subconsciously protecting herself, disregarding others’ feelings, only concerned with using her own spines to hurt anyone who came close.
“What disgusts me the most is someone using the pretext of goodwill to wantonly control my mind and freedom, such ‘kindness’ is more nauseating than maggots in a sewer.”
She didn’t know what had happened between her and Hamish before she lost her memory, for him to want to control her recollection in such a way.
Losing her memory didn’t mean losing her intelligence. If Hamish feared her regaining her memory, it meant that whatever had happened between them had reached an irreparable stage.
She could only guess at the surface, with more terrifying truths waiting for her.
Hamish furrowed his brow. “Elisa, how could you think like this? Can’t you feel my kindness towards you?”
“Do you think I’m a fool, Hamish?”
Hamish looked down at her, an insurmountable sorrow seemingly shrouding his expression. “Don’t overthink it, whatever happened before, just stay by my side, don’t leave me. My promise to you will never change. Elisa, I don’t deny that there are lies between us, but in our relationship, they are insignificant. Can’t you just pretend today never happened and everything is as it was before?”
“Elisa, you mean more to me than my own life. If you’re sad, I’m a thousand times sadder.”
In the past, Elisa would have been moved by his words, but now, how could she dare to believe him?