When Hamish heard the scream from the bathroom, he rushed in and, at the sight of Elisa lying on the floor, he felt as though his soul had been struck. Before his brain could fully comprehend, he hurriedly carried her to the nearest hospital.
The results were not optimistic. Elisa had never been in good health, and despite her efforts to appear normal, her stomach was deteriorating gradually. Even with the world’s most advanced cancer drugs, there was no cure, only relief. The string of hawthorn candies almost took her life; she was allergic to hawthorn.
Memories flooded back to Hamish. Elisa loved hawthorn candies, yet he had never seen her eat them.
…
Elisa lay in bed, having the same dream as that night. This time, the scenes in her dream were clearer, and she could hear the voice of the man.
A man in a white shirt approached her with hawthorn candies in hand. “Little Crybaby, have some hawthorn candies. Stop crying after you finish eating…”
She could hear it clearly; it wasn’t Hamish’s voice.
The dream shifted, and the man was now lying in a pool of blood, telling her, “This time, I can’t take you home again.”
Elisa woke up in tears, wondering who the man in her dream was. Why did the thought of him cause her such heartache? Was it really just a dream? Why did thinking about it feel so haunting, as if she had experienced it herself?
Elisa was certain that she had lost a significant memory, one unrelated to Hamish, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell him. So, when Hamish nervously asked her what was wrong, she chose to lie, saying she had a nightmare about her impending death.
Hamish’s concern was genuine, almost excessive in her eyes, as if she were truly on the brink of death. After spending a few more days in the hospital, she was allowed to return home with Hamish, where she continued taking her medication as prescribed. However, she discreetly avoided swallowing the nighttime pill.
Hamish became increasingly anxious about the white pill she took at night, watching her swallow it every time.
Discreetly, Elisa would place the pill in her mouth, then discreetly spit it out into the toilet as soon as Hamish left, rinsing her mouth until the bitter taste was gone before rejoining him.
She had started to doubt the nature of the nightly medication. Although it was supposed to help her recover her memory, it seemed to make her more drowsy and forgetful, often causing her to lose track of things. She even argued with Hamish, expressing her reluctance to take the medication at night, but he insisted, pretending to be understanding while clearly forcing her to take the pills.
Elisa had no idea what the medication was. The white pills came in an unlabeled bottle, and she couldn’t find any information about them. Since she had secretly stopped taking the pills, she noticed that her mind felt clearer, and her dreams became more vivid.
“I can call you Elisa, can’t I?”
“I don’t feel any pain, Elisa. Don’t be sad for me, and don’t love Hamish. He’s not worth your affection…”
A jarring gunshot exploded in her mind. Elisa’s eyes opened, and she involuntarily exclaimed, “Autumn!”
Her mind was in disarray, her heart stopping. She lay in Hamish’s embrace, feeling his warmth but unable to sense any comfort.
“Who were you calling just now?”
A hoarse voice came from above. Elisa widened her eyes, feeling the discomfort in her eyes and the inability to breathe through her nose. She felt as though she were deaf, hearing only a buzzing sound.
Hamish asked, “What did you dream about?” His hand, encircling her waist, tightened suddenly, like a giant clamp, making it hard for her to breathe.
Murmuring, Elisa said, “I forgot. Did I just cry out?”
“Click-” Hamish reached out to turn on the bedside lamp, and the orange light illuminated the entire room, as well as Elisa’s face.
Elisa still looked bewildered. Her eyes were misty, and a thin layer of sweat covered her forehead due to the nightmare.
Elisa looked into Hamish’s eyes. “I forgot the dream I just had. It seemed like I dreamed of the dead, and you said I was talking in my sleep. Did you hear what I said clearly?”
Her face was filled with confusion, and it didn’t seem like a lie.
Hamish brushed the sweat-dampened hair from her forehead. “I didn’t hear clearly either. If you don’t remember, let it go. It was just a nightmare.”
Elisa nodded, forcing a smile, and willingly wrapped her arms around Hamish’s sturdy waist, then nestled into his embrace, finding a secure position and closing her eyes like a cat seeking comfort.
In the dim light, Hamish gazed at her serene sleeping face, her urgent cry of “Autumn” echoing repeatedly in his mind. Unconsciously, he tightened his embrace, as if trying to meld her into his very being.
Unbeknownst to Hamish, Elisa remained awake, trapped within her dream. Since she had secretly stopped taking the medication, this particular dream had become the clearest, and she had even uttered a name.
“Autumn” – who was he? Why did she have no memory of him outside of her dreams? Why did the thought of this name cause her so much pain?
Her intuition told her that “Autumn” was someone crucial to her, and the dream felt so real. Just thinking about it made her want to cry.
She couldn’t cry; she couldn’t let Hamish catch on.
In truth, even Elisa didn’t understand why she didn’t want Hamish to know about her nightmares or the name she had called out. Leaning against Hamish’s chest, she listened to his heartbeat, feeling a rare sense of calm.
She clutched the bracelet on her left wrist, which she had never taken off since Hamish had put it on her. Releasing the bracelet required a key from Hamish, and unlocking it would release the bracelet automatically.
She gripped the lock on the bracelet, feeling as though it were not a piece of jewelry but a shackle, something she couldn’t remove or break free from, as if the only way to make it disappear was to sever her own arm.
…
Hamish spent a sleepless night, unable to calm himself. He had controlled Elisa’s memories, but he couldn’t control her dreams. Lately, she had been plagued by nightmares, and tonight’s dream had left him particularly “horrified.”
No matter how he looked at it, this was not a good sign. He feared that Elisa might recover her memories within her dreams.
And if Elisa did regain her memories, what would he do? Could he believe her assurances that she would never leave him, even if she regained her memories?