He remained silent. He was obviously shocked.
I looked away, slipped on my jacket, trying to act like I wasn’t remorseful in any way. “I know you’re surprised. But, please, accept this. I wanna move on.”
After a while of staying silent, he threw his head back, and burst out laughing. I let my tears go down my throat, curled up my hands in a fist, waiting for his next reaction. He was laughing, I understood that. He was only trying to be hopeful.
“Are you this crazy?” Done laughing, he put his hands in the pocket of his pants, smirking at me. “What’s with this sudden joke? Alright, I get it. We’ve not been so good these days, so you’re like, trying to pull my legs.”
I scoffed. “This is just the problem. How can you claim you love someone, and never know how to study the person’s body language or emotions?”
“Don’t start with this again.” He rolled his eyes.
I let the tear leave my eye. He had to know I wasn’t joking. “I’m tired of this relationship,” I lied. “I want us to move on. Sherri is so willing to have you. Give her a chance. Tonight, we should end our connection.”
He put his hands on his waist, wrinkling his face to show how irritated he was. “Can you stop this now? Fine. You get me. Happy? Come on. Let’s discuss certain things. I’ve got a lot of things to tell you.”
“I’m not playing around. I’m very serious,” I clarified.
He glared. Finally. “What’s this? You aren’t joking? Wait, are you nuts? How can you just say you wanna opt out of this relationship? What am I? A doll who’s got no emotions?”
“I’m sorry.” I sniffled, rubbing my knuckles against my cheek to wipe off my tears. “I just have to do this. I mean, recently, we’ve been so busy with our personal lives. I don’t want to be in a relationship where my partner doesn’t have enough time for me. It’s crazy.”
“In what way?” He threw his arms up. “What’s wrong with you? I should be the one complaining about this. In the past few days, you just go missing. When we’re together, you give me some attitude, yet I don’t complain. I always get confused. Though I feel bad about those, I haven’t ever thought of a break up. How can you just think of abandoning me right now?”
“See, this is what I want.” I took a step backwards, ready to leave. It was really hard to see him this hurt. “We can call each other some other time, okay? For now, I need my privacy. In fact, I’ll be moving away from the state. I don’t know when next we’ll meet, but—”
“Serene!” He cried at the top of his voice. He jerked my arm, which made me gasp, and yanked me close to him. Those eyes reddened, his face turning into a red balloon, nothing but wrath and fear motioning in his expression. “Are you crazy?! What’s wrong with you?!”
I widened my eyes. I hadn’t ever seen him this angry. Literally, I was shivering. This person was far from Mr. Arthur. He looked dangerous. Once again, I got the conviction that this break up would make him a different person.
“L-Leave my arm,” I stuttered. “You’re hurting me.”
“You call this hurt?” He spoke amidst hard breaths. “Y-You think this is pain? Then what about what you’re doing to me?! I’ve been feeling guilty for so long, knowing that I haven’t been giving you the time you need. But, have I not been trying my best?”
Another tear rolled down my face. “P-Please, leave my arm. Stop this madness.”
“Tell me, is there a new guy you like? Have you only been playing with my emotions? Huh?!” He roared. Good Lord, I honestly hadn’t expected him to react this way. Not at all.
“I just want to move on. Please, stop.”
“Move on?” He chortled. For the first time since I had known him, I saw tears in his eyes. Real tears. “What about me? Wait, so you’re just like the rest of them? Sherri also betrayed me. When I was younger, the friends who stayed with me only liked me because I was wealthy. My dad abandoned me. Does this mean my sister is the only one who loves me? Am I not a human? Do people think I have no emotions?”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“If this was your plan, why didn’t you reject my love?” he continued. He was holding my arm tighter. “Why did you make me sleep with you? In fact, why did you sleep with me tonight?”
I shook my head. I was helpless. “Please, just forget about everything. Drop the memories tonight. In the future, you’ll understand this.”
“I love you too much. Why me? Why?” His voice became low, shaky, a whole lot of weariness suspending it.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized again.
Swallowing hard as if a nail had gone down his throat, he released my arm, turned sideways, clenched his fingers in a fist, and looked down.
“Leave,” he commanded.
“Will you be fine? Please, don’t hurt yourself,” I said.
“Get out now.” He sounded even angrier. He tightened his fist, closing his eyes as well.
I whimpered. I was so worried. “Please, for my sake, don’t do anything harmful to yourself. It’s not worth it. If you—”
“Get out!” He roared as if he wouldn’t ever scream again. Turning to me, the hard breaths that eluded his nostrils caused a shiver to run down my spine. If it wasn’t for the fact that I was a woman, and even his lover, he would have probably hit me so hard by now. The fury in his eyes was evidence that his anger had gotten to its peak.
I nodded gently. Turning towards the door, I made my way out of the room. As I walked in the corridor, my heart bled when smashes of glasses sounded from the room. I had a feeling that he would hurt himself, but, at this point, he was no longer my responsibility.
I had moved on.
***
“What took you so long?” Sherri complained, her arms wrapped around her chest as she stood beside James.
I sighed. “It’s nothing. And, that shouldn’t matter. The point is, I’m here now.”
“Seems like you’ve got so much confidence, huh?” James put his hands in the pocket of his pants, sauntering towards me. That smirk was on his lips. The stupid one. “My dear, that would have to change. In my dictionary, my woman is under my territory.”
“I’ll be right back,” Sherri announced before walking out of the room. Once again, it was James and I in here.
I linked my arms on my chest. “Good that you said ‘your dictionary’. Cause, I’m sorry, that isn’t happening. I’m not gonna let you control me.”
“To get the money, you’ll have to sign an indefinite contract,” he sputtered.
I gulped. Where was this coming from? “Pardon?”
“I noticed that you have so much confidence,” he continued. He leaned over the couch behind him, his sneer widening. “So, I’ve decided to tame you. Once the wedding is finalized, you’d sign the contract. If you don’t, you won’t get any money.”
“Fine, I’ll sign it. But hey, I’m really not gonna let you control me,” I marked out.
He raised his eyebrows, and chuckled. “Really? You’re daring me?”
“No, I’m not,” I spat out.
He exhaled. “My dear, this is just the beginning of my dominance. You really don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into. I mean, no one in the world has ever been confident enough to accept my proposal.”
I didn’t know why, but my heart kind of skipped a beat. I wasn’t supposed to feel threatened, but I did. I really did.
“Whatever.” I tried to act confident.
He shrugged. Standing straight, he walked to me. He stood in front of me, tucking his tongue in his cheek. “I’m ruthless. I hardly feel any emotions. I can’t be loyal to you. I definitely can’t ever fall in love with you. The fact that my father’s paying you to get married to me, means that I’m purchasing you. Because of that, I’ll make you my foot mat. Whatever I say to you is what you’ll do.”
My eyes dunked in tears. What was this? “I won’t be your slave,” I rebuked his words.
His eyes scrolled all the way from my chest, down to my lap. “Also, one of your vital jobs would be to comfort me in bed. You’re sexy. No doubt. So, whenever I’m turned on, you must let me taste you.”
“You disgust me.” I gritted my teeth. I was furious.
He tapped my shoulder. “Get used to it. Cause, you haven’t seen anything. From tomorrow, you’ll be in a bondage. In my bondage. You’ve put yourself into this, so you’ll have to face it.”
“I hate you.” The tears left my eyes.
“But, I like you.” He poked my arm. “Buckle your seatbelt, wifey. Welcome to my world.”
With that, he walked past me, leaving me speechless and broken. Just like every other time, Vicki appeared. Wait, how was she always doing that?
She gave me a small smile. A weak one. She tapped my shoulder, and nodded. “Wishing you a happy married life, Serene. Just want you to know that this is just the beginning of your sorrow. See you at your wedding tomorrow. Goodnight.”
Also, she walked away. As soon as she shut the door, I tugged my shaky hands to my chest, violently creating a fistful of my cloth by squeezing it in my palm. Tears were in my eyes, but instead of crying, I burst out laughing. My knees dropped to the floor, and I went on laughing. It was a laughter filled with agony.
Wow. I was doing this. I would be his wife.
So help me, God. Amen.
***