ALEX’S POV
I don’t want to admit it but I’m grateful that I went with them here.
This place is so peaceful. Its a good stress reliever.
I was surprised when someone handed me an orange juice. I looked at him to see who it was.
“Bry.”
“Enjoying yourself?” He said sweetly.
“Yes.” I just said.
“I miss you calling me grandpa.” He confessed.
I chuckled. “Really? I thought you don’t want me to call you that because it reminds you of our huge age gap?!”
He also chuckled. “Yeah at first. But I realize that I am the only one you have give an endearment. That is why I want to always hear you call me on that endearment. I sounded so gay.”
I laughed at him. Indeed, this is not the Bryan that I knew.
I never thought that he is sweet and cheesy. We never really had a normal conversation. Because whenever I start a serious conversation, he will always tease me. So we will end up teasing each other.
I miss him, especially the times when we have nothing to worry about. We just enjoy each other’s company.
It is really different when feelings is involved. But what will really happen to us in the future?
“You became quiet.” Bryan noticed.
I smiled. “Nothing. I just remember how we used before. The time where we were comfortable and just enjoying each other’s company.”
He sighed heavily. “Yes. Its your fault. You did not wait for me. If you had only waited a few months, we can be together now. ”
I suddenly fell silent. Yes he is right. Now I see that Liz has been able to move on. Thanks to Gian.
I trust Bryan’s word. I should give Gian the benefit of the doubt. I should give him a chance to prove that he is sincere with Liz.
But things is different, I have Nic now.
“Yes your right.” I said admitting my mistake.
“But its not yet late for us. I still have 1 year to win you fully.” He said.
“Bry look, I think we should stop this.” I told him.
I just feel like I am cheating with Nic and it makes me feel uncomfortable and guilty.
“No. I won’t.” He looks so determined.
“But this is wrong. Nic is just too nice the reason why he allowed you to do this things. But I’m so guilty ‘coz I feel like I’m cheating on him. And he don’t deserve it.” I honestly told him.
“What about me Alex? Have you ever thought about my feelings? Have you ever thought that I am also hurting?!” He said coldly.
I was taken aback. I don’t know what to say.
“You always think about Nic. His feelings! But what about my feelings Alex? You think I am okay with all of this?! You think I’m happy to the point that I am doing desperate things?! Alex I am also having a hard time with our situation! I am also hurting! But I am enduring all this things because of you! I love you Alex so so much!” I saw tears came out from his eyes.
I want to cry. I want to touch him, to comfort him. I can see that her is hurting.
This is all my fault! He is hurting because of my decision! I am hurting all of them.
I don’t know what to do anymore.
Then my phone suddenly rang. It’s Nic.
“Sorry Bry. I need to answer this.”
I answered it, while Bry is waiting.
“Yes Nic. I’ll be back tomorrow. See you. Bye.”
When I hung up the phone I immediately confronted Bryan. But when I saw his face, I wanted to turn away because I could see the sadness and pain in his eyes. I can’t bare to see it.
“With what you show, with what you choose. It seems … it seems like I want to believe that there is no hope … that he is the one you chose …” after he said that he left immediately.
I was depressed. What have I done? I thought this was the best thing to do.
Bryan was right I did not think about his feelings. I did not thing if he will be hurt from my decision or not.
I’m sorry Bry. I don’t think I deserve you, even Nic. I don’t deserve any of the two of you.