It was not easy for Eileen but easier than she feared. She found AA meetings to attend. Through AA she found a therapist in White Plains who she began to see each Thursday. While Eileen knew Kerry was keeping an eye on her, she never felt threatened or infantized by it. It comforted her. Neither Kerry nor Tommy nor anyone else pressured her or insisted on knowing how-are-you-doing? The only other person she spoke to about it in any detail was Betty, who proved to be the helpful soundboard in the family and who kept their conversations between the two of them.
On Christmas, less than two weeks after the Chicago trip, Eileen was nearly back to the self everyone saw on Thanksgiving and the whole gang—the Neallys and the Nelsons—headed up to Chappaqua.
Into January, the spiraling down had reversed itself. Eileen was increasingly convinced of her own worth and that her happiness would continue if she simply allowed it to continue. Christmas had been much like Thanksgiving with the addition that Eileen had gone to an early Mass, largely because she enjoyed the poinsettias and the carols (Kerry stayed home). There were some nerves about whether it was okay to have alcohol but Eileen assured Tommy and Tom assured everyone else that it was important that she be able to handle it, as she had long done before Chicago and she was able to handle it, to everyone’s (silent) relief.
Much to Kerry’s and Suzanne’s (articulated) relief, Eileen began spending nights, first just Saturdays but then Sundays too—Eileen could take the train from Chappaqua to White Plains with Tom and then head straight to work, provided she brought work clothes with her—and by March it had pretty much turned into a Friday-Saturday-Sunday trifecta, winners all around since it meant that Kerry and Suzanne had the Tuckahoe house to themselves for weekends and sleeping late and other…stuff.
It was kind of absurd. Everyone knew what was going on, but they both felt awkward doing anything at either Suze’s Aunt’s or Kerry’s Mom’s house, as if they were still in high school. And both Suze’s Aunt and Kerry’s Mom had assured the two of them that staying over at either house—they were only a few miles apart after all—was not only okay but was positively encouraged. Still, they never quite felt right until Kerry received the all-clear that her Mom would be in Chappaqua for the evening.
The Chappaqua Club
In early January, Tom brought Eileen to a Saturday-evening dinner at his club and one could feel the pleasure and relief that echoed through the room when Tom introduced her. That was a reason he had not gone to the club when they ate in Chappaqua, to avoid the pressure on Eileen. These were people who had loved Wendy and they were genuinely thrilled that Tom had found someone, again not to take Wendy’s place but to be with him in his new life. It was a sentiment that Eileen herself battled with; how to avoid Tommy believing he had to choose between her and Wendy, how to convince him that she was not a new-Wendy but just Eileen and while they’d only had to speak of it once or twice, Eileen felt that by that Saturday when they had first made love Tommy got it—it’s when he removed the wedding band—and that when he did look back, and she knew that he would, it would be with fondness. And love.
The vibe that Eileen got from this crowd was worlds apart from what she felt when she was ogled at Simon’s yacht club. In fairness, she realized that this was in large part the result of Tommy and Wendy and their children having grown up together in this environment while Simon was a lone wolf in his. For Tommy, Eileen would be filling an empty spot in his life. For Simon, she would just be an addition to his. And also in fairness, Eileen never thought Simon was quite of that yacht-club-on-the-Sound world.
Eileen particularly enchanted the three members with whom Tom had regular, high-level Sunday tennis matches—Alan Jennings, Ben Cranston, and Charlie diPaolo—and their wives and she easily fit into their conversation, even the insider ribbing the men gave one another. The men were happy to see her accompanying Tom the next day for their regular match, their wives having long since given up on showing up, and she truly enjoyed the match itself and the competitive yet sweet side of Tommy she saw. She even accompanied them to their breakfast, frankly shocked at what the four ate. And how much.
From then, Eileen made a habit of attending club functions when she could and she and Tommy had dinner there once or twice a month. But she only infrequently went to one of his Sunday matches. Instead, she went to an AA meeting nearby. It was attended by a cross-section of northern Westchester society. A number of people from old-school families, bankers and lawyers and doctors who worked in the City or in White Plains, a number of stay-at-home moms and dads who could only get away while their spouses minded the kids, some guys in the trades, and more than a few who worked at tending the lawns of the others. It was a revolving cast, and Eileen became a regular. She found the broad range of people a comfort. All pretense left at the door.
Tommy asked whether he should come to a meeting, but she told him that her meetings were closed, but she found an open meeting in nearby Armonk and they went to two meetings there so he could get a sense of what Eileen was going through. Otherwise, each Sunday he’d head out in his tennis whites with a kiss goodbye and she’d shortly drive to a church basement in Pleasantville.
Eileen no longer feared that this cascading happiness was destined to be lost. Instead she recognized that it was simply the state of the world that she was fortunate to occupy.