“I’m pretty sure she’ll be really, really happy. She is really very sweet and loves you both and I can’t see her doing anything else. But people can surprise you, so just be there for Kerry no matter how it goes.”
I told Kerry what Aunt Mary said and we, quietly, drove to her house.
Kerry: Getting Home
My Mom jumped up from the sofa, putting The Sunday Times section she was reading and the cup she was holding on the coffee table when she saw us enter. When she understood that I was with Suzanne, who she had not seen since Christmas, and that we held one another’s hands, she rushed over, practically upsetting a chair, and with surely one of the largest smiles I ever saw, perhaps larger than ever directed towards me, she grabbed my Suze and hugged her and starting crying.
I realized that all my worries about what I needed to say to her were of no import; I did not need to say anything.
“Oh, Suzanne, you don’t know how much I’ve missed you.” At another time and in another place this might have offended me, her only child, but this was not some other time or some other place. Today and here it warmed my every fiber.
Wiping her tears, she directed us to the sofa and ordered us to report on what the hell was going on.
And after we told her, and observing our nervousness, she grabbed The Times and her coffee and said that she has some errands to run and brought them into the kitchen. Upon her return—neither Suze nor I moved in her absence—she told us that she would be out until one. She said “until one” twice. And being that she was already dressed, she took the keys from me, kissed me, gave my Suze a kiss (and a whisper), and was gone.
Suze: A Walk
Kerry and I were speechless because Kerry and I were alone. I told Kerry that her Mom had whispered “never leave again.”
I gave my Aunt a quick call to fill her in, and she ended by saying that Eileen was on her other line. Not a surprise there.
After reporting this to Kerry, I told her that I was hungry, not having eaten much since I saw her on my stoop, and she, admitting that the same was true for her, we scavenged some stuff in the kitchen—quick scrambled eggs and toast with more coffee—and as we sat in the kitchen eating, she asked me, “What now?” and I answered, “your guess is as good as mine.” I think we each expected that the other wanted to rush upstairs and, well, finally do it. I wasn’t sure that that’s what I wanted to do.
“Ker, would it be okay if we went for a walk? I just want, you know, to be with you as your girlfriend and hold hands and—”
“Oh my god, Suze, you’re reading my mind. I’m so nervous that I’d just like to walk with my love”—a Cupidian arrow right through my heart—”and enjoy it.”
Ten minutes later, we were walking along narrow, winding backstreets. She and I had our long walk on Thanksgiving in her Aunt’s neighborhood, but this was our first walk in hers. She opened up more about having grown up there, remembering little anecdotes about childhood stuff—”I remember we’d always trick-or-treat on this street for Halloween”; “my Mom had me practice parallel parking in front of this house”; “Oh my god, the kid who lived here once gave me a kiss at recess and then ran away, I wonder if he remembers”—and these innocent reminiscences made me feel even closer to my love.
I wondered whether I would ever share such innocent but monumental memories on my side someday, walking near where I was raised.
Kerry: Heading Home Again
She was in flats and I was in trainers but in my defense, she was in much better shape than me so I was the one who started to fade after we walked up-and-down these small hills, some on streets still paved in paving stones—a tradition not likely to be changed—and stopped to say hello to other strollers, particularly those with dogs, for what seemed like hours physically but seconds emotionally. We sat down on a small stone wall in front of someone’s house. We neglected to bring water so we were both parched. It was a bit of a struggle, for me at least, to get all the way home and when we did, we headed straight for the kitchen for water and she saw an unopened bag of potato chips and asked if she could have some and proceeded to devour them.
Our window of opportunity was closing; my Mom would not be long in getting home and I knew we would want to be long in making love so after Suze said it was okay I called my Mom and told her that we were at the house, that all we had done was go for a walk, and that the coast was clear. She relayed each of these bits of information as she received them and I knew she was with Mary and Betty.
“Is it okay if we come over?”, she asked, the “we” including her compadres and I said “Sure, the more the merrier.”
I grabbed a yogurt and Suze picked up an apple to go with her chips as we awaited the three women.