He leaned closer until his mouth was near my ears, sniffing my scent.
“I’m not changing my mind for you. I’m the Alpha and you can’t mess with my rule.”
I immediately found where his anger is coming from. It is a bad idea to meddle with his judgment.
“I’m sorry. I forgot you despised your mother and will never let me in your life just to avoid being like your father.” My voice is sharp, I can feel the bitterness of it in the tip of my tongue.
His grip tightened and I suppressed myself from flinching with the pain it caused. I tried steadying my breathing, trying to seem strong but deep inside, I am shaking.
“How dare you!” he looked at me like he is ready to lose control. His body is trembling and I can only imagine the anger he was trying to suppress.
“Keep your words. I will never intervene with your rules but don’t you ever ask for me when it comes to your pack.” My voice spat to him like I was disgusted but, to be honest, I’m dismayed. I never thought I’ll be voiceless when it comes to his decision and he just slapped it straight to my face. “You just proved to me that I will have no voice when it comes to your pack. I just wished you didn’t let me be a part of it.”
His gripped loosened as he was caught off guard with my words. I immediately freed myself and walked out of his room then headed for the previous room I had.
I got offended by what he said and not saying this stuff because he didn’t let me have what I wanted in the first place.
Suddenly, I forgot my agreement with Titus and ready to break off with it. I no longer feel anxious with Aiden knowing that I am a stealer but just furious about what he has said.
He indirectly told me of my role in his pack. That I’ll only do what he wants. But that is not what I was made of.
I’m ready to be exposed. Pain is better to be placed first than suffer last. I don’t care if Titus will rat me out tomorrow or the day after. The only thing which is important right now is what I just realized by Aiden’s words.
That it doesn’t matter what I am, he still can’t accept me whole because of his past.
I was laying on my bed and Aiden didn’t bother to follow me after I stormed out of his room. That made me mad even more.
I can feel my wolf crying inside, angry with what I had done. She wanted to be with our mate tonight. I ignored her and recalled what had happened.
The argument I had with Aiden burns the conscience inside me. I didn’t intend for it to turn that way but I got swayed by my outrage. However, his reaction was necessary and rude.
He could have told me that he disagrees with what I said. It’s not like I needed him to agree, I’m just trying my luck at chances.
Then he raged his fury to me like I’m not his mate! That angered me too much that I can still see red until now.
I intend to talk about Titus’ case and if he won’t agree then he could have told me, not to the extent that he’ll use his power over me just to prove his position.
I keep playing over and over my head what had happened and once I’m tired of thinking about it, I decided to went out of my room.
I walked silently along the hallway, almost fleet my toes when I was in front of Aiden’s room. The last thing I want now is to see him.
I walked downstairs with careful steps then grabbed a glass of water when I reached the kitchen. My throat is suddenly dry from thirst.
I looked forward to nowhere as I held the glass in my hand. Running my mind to what to do next.
Titus will probably rat me out tomorrow if he’ll found that I failed to convince Aiden. The introduction ceremony can be his great advantage to tell everyone that I’m a stealer and I started to think twice if I’ll bail out of the event.
If I delayed telling him I failed, he might get the wrong interpretation and might act hastily, giving me the same consequence.
If I’ll tell Aiden myself what I am now, my best guess is he’ll raise hell and there will be no introduction ceremony tomorrow. It’s not like I’m after the Luna title but the people from the pack that I attended today already learned about the ceremony.
I also doubt that invites are not yet delivered to every one of the pack, Nick sure does his job well and that part was possibly taken care of.
I sighed as I was left with no more ideas. Everything my mind is running on and about leads to anything but a mess.
‘Hey, you awake?’ It was Seth who cut me out of my thoughts. I forgot that I have someone who I can talk to about my dilemmas.
‘Yeah.’ I replied as I put the glass of water down to the sink. ‘Can we talk?’
‘You know where the pool is?’ his reply is fast, I bet he can’t sleep the night after what had happened. His head must be full of wary.
‘Yeah. I’ll meet you there.’
I opened the door that leads to the underground and closed it silently. Making sure no sound will be made that may wake anyone.
The stairs are long and I thought I’ll be welcomed by darkness but a dim light at the bar corner was open. Seth is already sitting on a barstool.
“Can’t sleep?” I said as soon as he turned his head to look at me. Seth held a glass of whiskey as he lumped on his chair.
He nodded. “I needed a drink.” he mumbled before taking a big gulp of the liquor. I have one person who knew what I am in a day and he already looked like a mess.
I sat on a barstool beside him and grabbed a glass for myself. I drank it straight, feeling it burns my throat as it glides down.
“Have you talked?” he asked. Turning his back on the bar and stared at the calm water in front of him.
I nodded and poured another shot before looking at the pool, too.
“How’d it go?”
“He was furious.”
Seth hissed and took a sip on his glass. “Of course he will.”
“Tampering with his decision is a bad idea.” I mumbled. I admit and accept that my idea has failed and wrong. But still…
“Aiden had never let anyone meddle with his discretion. I doubted if he’ll listen to you since what happened with his past left a mark on him. Though I thought you might have a chance.”
I know I’ve said to myself before that I’ll never be like Luna Tina but that’s not what I was trying to do at all. I’m not trying to use the mate bond to influence Aiden.
“Well, I guess I’m just anyone for him…” My voice is low and hurt. I’ve been hurting and my fury is what I’m grateful for making cowering my pain.
“Ash…” his voice sympathize with me but I just shrugged at him.
“I thought we’ll have a peaceful conversation but it’s the opposite. Aiden even used his Alpha over me.” I chuckled sarcastically but deep inside my wolf is crying as I try to halt the tears that start forming in the side of my eyes.
“He did?”
“Yeah. I didn’t say anything bad for him to hit that extent.” I scowled as I drink my whiskey. It’s true though. I talked to him calmly and properly. It’s not like I pushed him or pressured him to change his mind. Damn, I did not even finish any phrase.
Seth shook his head and sighed. “His past is a rough road. Just try to understand him for now.” he said, I figured he was trying to console me but also taking Aiden’s side. Seth got a point but what’s not is Aiden’s reaction and his insensitive words.
“I do understand him. I knew what he’d been through. I felt his pain. Every. Fucking. Pain! But tonight he implies that I’m voiceless! So what will I be beside him? Just a bearer of his child?”
I almost sob as a tear flow down my eyes. I am hurt. I hate how Aiden made me feel and what he said just made me realize that I have no seat beside him as a Luna. Hell, I’m not even sure if he sees me as one!
“Come on, Ash. He’s just mad. He doesn’t mean his words. Don’t take it too seriously.” He placed his hand on my back, gently rubbing it as I wiped the tears off my cheeks.
“He doesn’t care what I think. He said it! It’s like whatever I say, he won’t hear any of it!” I wiped another tear and sniffed. “I’m this close about telling him the truth. But if he feels that way towards me then how can he understand that I’m a stealer?”