After my heated conversation with Andrew yesterday, we were not able talk again because we were both busy with work.
The project I am doing coincides with the event that Lieo is going to. That made me more busy.
Because of Lieo’s participation in Vince’s taping, I agreed to be his stylist.
It is not difficult to dress Lieo, he has a good physique that even if asked him to wear a rag, it will still look expensive because he is the one carrying it.
I am also thankful for what happened.
I don’t want to talk to him for now. My mind is in chaos. I am also too emotional. I don’t want to do something that I will regret in the end.
I wanted to think, I wanted to be alone. I wanted to be sure with what I really feel.
I still don’t know if I will go or not in the said reunion. That is why I chose to click the ‘maybe’ option in the Facebook event invitation.
Many gave their reaction from my response because they knew what happened to me. That now I am Allison Alonzo and they wanted me to attend the said reunion. I am sure that I am the hottest topic in the reunion.
The things that happened in my life is like a TV Drama. Who wouldn’t be interested in that right?!
I never attended any of our reunion before. I don’t want to look to out of place because I don’t have a boyfriend at that time yet. I don’t want him to think that I still love him.
Now that I have a boyfriend I should finally attend the said reunion. But why am I having a second thought now?!
“Hey are you okay?”
I was startled by Lieo’s voice.
I rolled my eyes. “Do you need to scare me?!”
We are now in my mom’s boutique to look for a suit that he will wear in an event.
“You look like not in your usual self. You can share to me your problem you know?! I am your guy best friend right?” He softly said.
I smiled and shook my head. “I’m okay Lieo. No need to worry about me.”
He frowned. “You don’t look okay. Come on spill it!”
I sighed. As if I have a choice, I’m sure he will not stop unless I told him what’s bothering me.
“Well its about our upcoming college reunion.” I said first.
“What with your reunion?” He asked curiously.
“I don’t know if I will attend or not.” I said.
He raised his brow. “Your unsure because?”
“I’m scared.” Only thing I said.
“Come one Alli can you elaborate it so that I can understand you?” He hissed.
I pouted. “Okay fine. I’m scared to face Jester. I’m scared to know if I still love him. That he is still the one I love. I am scared for me and Andrew. What if I just thought that I love him but the truth is I am just overwhelmed by the attention and his love for me? That I made myself believe that I love because I was desperate to forget Jester?!” I explained and that’s when my tears starts to flow again.
He hug me to comfort me. “Everything will be okay Alli.”
“I’m really scared Lieo, what if I found out that I still love him? What will happen to Andrew? What will happen to our relationship? Tomorrow is our first monthsary but I am still feeling this way. I feel sorry for him. He doesn’t deserve this.” I said while crying.
He faced me and caress my face. “Look Alli, you don’t need to be afraid. And you need to face the truth. You can’t runaway from this forever because you and Andrew will never be happy if you chose to runaway.”
“If you guys are meant to be together, it will still you in the end, no matter what happen or whoever you guys meet.” He added.
“But if you proved that you still love him then you need to face it. Maybe Andrew is not really the one for you. Both of you need to face and accept that.” He said with full of sympathy.
I don’t know if the things that he said help me or it made me more scared.
But he is right. I really need to face and accept the truth.
***
I open again my facebook and change my status in the invitation. I made my decision I will attend the reunion.
Charles and Lieo is right, I really need to face it. Not just for me but most especially for Andrew.
I just hope that everything will be okay. That nothing will change.
I was browsing my facebook account when I receive a friend request.
I click it to see who sent the request.
My heart suddenly beat faster the moment I knew who the person is.
Its Jester.
I just look at the friend request. I don’t know if I should accept it or not.
Yes. Even though I have this account for a very long, still Jester and I were not friends. No means of communication.
Before I chose not add him and wait for him to add me. But it never happened.
I still stalked him on facebook though.
And it broke my heart when I read on his page that he and Rachel are already married.
Since then I stopped stalking him. I waited for him for so long but I waited for nothing .
I was back to reality when I saw that my chat box popped up.
Its him.
‘Hi Alli! I’m glad that you will come on our reunion. I’m so excited to see you. I hope that you will not ignore my friend request. ;)’
Why are you doing this Jester?! Why now?
I took a deep breath then I click the button “not now.”