After Charles and I talked, I immediately opened my facebook.
There were some notifications but I ignored them. I just looked for the invitation for our reunion.
And true enough there is. I clicked it. I saw that almost everyone will come, the others are maybe but no one chose the not joining choice. I browse who’s going.
I saw Jester and Rachel’s name using Jester’s surname.
I felt a pain in my heart. Suddenly my heart beat faster. I’m nervous.
Why do I feel this way?
Am I okay?
Did I forget him already?
Isn’t Andrew is the one I love and not him anymore?
I cried at that thought.
What if until now the one I love is still Jester?
What will happen to me and Andrew? I can’t be with him if I am feeling this way.
He doesn’t deserve this.
He doesn’t deserve me.
***
(A/N: first POV of Andrew)
I felt that Alli became cold to me this past few days.
I am trying hard to remember if I did something wrong to her that is why she became cold.
Our relationship is almost a month now but we never had a misunderstanding nor argument. What make it hard to handle is that I don’t have any idea why is she treating me like that.
“Baby are we still okay?” I can’t help but to asked her.
The day after tomorrow will be our first monthsary. And I don’t want us to be like this on the first month of our relationship
She smile but it didn’t reached her eyes. I know that something is wrong. “Of course we’re okay.”
“Alli be honest with me. Do we have a problem? This past few days you are becoming cold. Did I do something wrong?” I asked worriedly.
She then touched my face. “Baby you did not do anything wrong. You are a perfect boyfriend.”
I frowned. “Then why are you like this?”
“I am just scared.” She finally confessed.
I am confused with what she just said. “Scared of what?”
“Scared because of this.” She said then she pointed her left chest.
I furrowed. I still can’t understand what she is trying to say.
“I am scared because of my heart. I am scared to know what I truly feel.” I saw tears form in his eyes.
I immediately hug her tight just enough to comfort her.
“Please explain it to me. What are you feeling now and why are you feeling scared about it?” I softly asked.
She released a sigh. “We will be having a reunion with my college classmates next month.”
“What’s the problem there?” I asked.
“He will come.” She said.
“Who is he?” I asked curiously.
“Jester.” She said then she lower her head.
Jester. That is the guy that Alli told me about. Her first heartbreak. Does she still have feelings for that guy?”
“So what if he will join you in the reunion? He is your classmate so technically he has the right to join you guys.” I said.
She just nodded. I am having an idea now why she is acting like this. Does she find out that she haven’t moved on yet? That she still love him?
I swallowed hard. “So what’s the problem Alli? Do you still have feelings for him?”
I feel so nervous. What if she say yes? What will happen to us?
Is she really scared because there is a possibility that she still love that guy until now? That he love that guy more than he love me?
Just thinking of that possibility made my heart shattered into pieces.
I don’t know if I can
I don’t know if I can afford to lose her. I love her so much.
“I-I don’t know.” Her tears began to flow.
“What do you mean you don’t know?!” I said a bit frustrated.
“I know that I don’t love him anymore. I know the the person I love now is you. But…” she wasn’t able to finish what she had to say.
And that made me more frustrated. “But what?!”
“But when I saw him on Facebook and Rachel carrying his name, I feel hurt.” The she started crying.
She looked at me with full of tears. “What if I still love him? What if I am just overwhelmed by the attention and love that you are giving me? What if it is still him and not you? Andrew I feel so scared right now!” She said while still crying.
I can see in her eyes that she is having a hard time because of all this.
I just closed my eyes. It hurts more when you heard it from her that she is not sure with what she really feel.
What then?
What will happen to us?