MARU’S POV
“Why did you came back so late? Why did you let me marry your brother?”
“If you just come back earlier, maybe this thing will not happen. Your brother will not be oblige to break with her girlfriend. He will not be oblige to marry me. I don’t need to marry him and I will have a safe and normal delivery! Baby Tanya will not experience all this!”
That statement from Mara keeps on repeating in my mind.
It hurts like hell.
It really hurts to hear those words from your wife. That she regret in marrying me.
If she only knew how long I waited for this to happen.
Who am I kidding right? Even before James is the one who really like and not me.
Since then, Mara is always aloof on me.
Even how I tried to approach her is just a waste because every time she will attend the event in our house before, she will go straight at finding James.
I even thought that she was looking for me before. He’s calling the name Maru, but she didn’t know that we have 2 Maru in the mansion.
He never called me Maru before, because for her James is the only Maru that she knew.
I remembered before that she always get pissed at me whenever I insist her that my name is Maru.
Her aloofness worsen when our parents arrange their marriage.
I’m also shocked when I saw her avoiding James too.
I felt a bit happy from her actions. I thought at that time that maybe she doesn’t like the idea of marrying James. When the truth is the reason why she acts like that is because she thought that I am the one who is set to marry her and not James.
Until my dad and James has a big argument that leads to my brother to left our house.
I volunteer myself to my parents. I told them that I will marry Mara as a replacement so that they will not lose face to the Almonte family. But the truth is, I always Mara since we were little.
She was my puppy love, my crush, my infatuation and my first love.
Jana was my girlfriend but we did not last for a month because I don’t want to fool ourselves. Because we both don’t love each other.
Jana was inlove with someone else. But it was just an unrequited love. Just like my one-sided love with Mara.
We didn’t mind telling people about our breakup because we want to see Mara and Alex’s reaction when they knew about our relationship.
The reason why I am so pissed with Alex aside from the fact that he fell for my wife, he also hurt Jana.
He lead Jana on. That’s why me and Jana agreed to have a relationship.
That’s our way to comfort each other.
Jana knew how much I love Mara. That’s why we decided to have a relationship.
But sadly, it has no effect on Mara and Alex.
It only increase the pain that I am feeling because it only proves that Mara will never like and love me.
I tried to approach her but it has no effect on her.
When the time she was introduced as my fiancee I can’t contain the happiness that I am feeling at that time.
The more I know about her and spend time with her, my love for her increased. Especially when I found out that she never tried to commit herself to someone because she accepted the fact that she’s mine.
“I will eventually marry you, so why do I need to have a boyfriend? I don’t like to complicate things.”
I can’t help but smile whenever I remember her words.
But it eventually banish when I learn the reason why she did not enter any relationship.
It pains me to hear how she sees herself. That she was not made out of love but because of business.
That’s why I promise myself that I will change her perception about that.
I want her to experience to have a normal family. A family loving one another.
When she confessed to me and told me that she loves me, I couldn’t ask for anything because I feel so complete.
To know that all my hard work pays off. It is really worth the wait.
Though I felt sad when I never heard her saying “I love you” to me again.
I thought maybe she change her mind, but her kisses assured me of her love for me, especially whenever we made love.
And then the news came. James is back! I felt threaten but I told myself that she already told me she loves me and I trust her word.
But I lose my confidence when I saw the longing in their eyes. I felt like I’m back to what we were before, when we are still young.
I know that we were too young at that time, if you’ll think about it, our feelings are too shallow.
After I heard Mara’s explanation to James, I realized how deep her feeling was for Mara. I saw regrets in her eyes that made my heart break into pieces.
That is why I was not able to control myself and release all my frustration and irritation to Mara at that night. But I regretted it the moment I saw my wife bleeding and lost consciousness.
And lead my child in danger. I thank God that he let my wife and my child to survive.
But I still feel sorry for what happen. It is me to blame. If I only considered Mara’s situation at that time, I will not argue with her. She will not bleed and she will have a normal delivery.
At that time I want to turn back the time. But I know, no matter how hard I tried, I won’t be able fo bring it back.
And now I am here beside my wife, but I feel like she’s so far from me.
I hold her hand and place it to my lips.
“I’m sorry wife. I love you so so much. Please don’t leave me.”
I don’t know why I suddenly said that. I suddenly felt scared.
That’s what scares me the most.
When I lose my wife I don’t know if I can take it.