The sound of a door closing scares me out of my sleep and paralyzes my blood.
“Who’s there?” I pull the sheet up to my neck, fearful.
My vision is still blurry, perhaps from the fright of waking up in a strange bed and in a room that is not my own. Waking up in a different place for the first time in twenty-three years is a little scary.
Moonlight streams through the glass window that is almost my size and illuminates the room a bit.
A shadow moves beside the door.
It is the intruder.
“Who is it? Know that I will scream if you come any closer.” Even though I’m peeing my pants in fear, I try to push him away.
“I just wanted to check that you were asleep.”
It’s Dario, I know. A tiny voice deep inside me tells me it’s him.
“Dario,” my soul returns to my body, and I release my breath. “What’s wrong with you? What time is it?”
“I didn’t mean to scare you. I didn’t intend to,” he justifies himself and moves a little closer.
Even knowing it’s him and that he’s my husband, I can’t hide the fear of him seeing me in my underwear. Something stupid, since I know he was the one who was with me at the lake.
“You must change the method. For example, entering the rooms in the middle of the night will cause that reaction.”
“You’re always in this ‘I hate the world’ mode. I resent everything people say or do.”
“You’re in my room. You come in the middle of the night and pretend I’ll chat you up and treat you like it’s ten o’clock in the morning, and you’re coming in to have a cup of coffee with me. Don’t fuck with me, Dario! Do you see? I’m well and whole. No one has stolen a piece of me.” I stick out my right hand and point to the door. “Will you let me sleep, please?”
He watches me for a few minutes without saying half a word, then looks at the door.
Before he leaves, he asks me:
“How did you know it was me? A few hours ago, down there, you were surprised because I have a twin. I glimpsed on your face the expression of not knowing which one was which. How did you know now, in the middle of the darkness, not being able to see my face and not knowing what I am wearing? Tell me, Tatiana, how did you know it’s me? How did you know I’m your husband?”
His question is logical and rational. Unfortunately, my answer will lead to a subject that I cannot address at this time. It can’t come up when I’m half-naked and eager to feel his lips on mine.
“I just knew. Intuition.” Empty, that’s what that response sounds like.
“Intuition in the dark?”
“What did you come for? Why did you come in the middle of the night without knocking first? Do you know the word privacy?” I don’t let his questions engage me and make me think of things I can’t afford. “If you want, I’ll go into town tomorrow and get you a dictionary.”
“I wanted to make sure you were okay. Also, I wanted to know you were still here,” he confesses to me.
I can almost be sure his tone is one of sadness.
Did he think I would leave?
I want to leave, but that would fail, and I recognize that I cannot help my parents, my younger sister. I cannot escape and break this commitment. He doesn’t seem like the ogre I imagined. His actions still have no justification. Grabbing me by the arm and dragging me practically into the house is still an enigma to me. What did he think when he saw me? Did he think I was going to throw myself off the cliff? That I was going to attempt suicide with his child in my arms?
In short, I have a lot to know about Dario and what scares him. That behavior on the balcony was one of fright and panic as he believed I would do something stupid.
“You think I’m going to leave?” I pull the sheet off me and get out of bed slowly—my robe brushes against my skin and down to my heels.
Nothing sexy or dainty. I had no plans to see any men in the middle of the night either. I didn’t go to a lingerie and sex toy store before I got married. So this is what I had at home. It takes getting used to being married and living with someone else who is not my family but will become one.
“I don’t know you, and you don’t know me,” he mutters with the door ajar about to leave.
The hallway light is off, and only the moonlight illuminates us.
The cold begins to brush against my skin, but I walk towards him.
“That doesn’t mean I plan to leave.”
“You have reason to leave me.”
“Is that what you want? For me to leave? A runaway bride on her wedding night?” I stop in front of him. I feel his gaze on me. My breasts harden with his masculine closeness and heat.
“You are my wife. You would be a runaway wife, more like.” His hand slowly runs down my cheek and tucks a naughty lock behind my ear. I close my eyes to enjoy this I was missing and had no idea.
I delight in his closeness and the feeling of protectiveness he exudes. There is no doubt in my mind: Dario is the owner of my body and the one with whom I lost my virginity.
Why does he act as if he doesn’t remember? Why hasn’t he mentioned our night of romance and pleasure? Doesn’t he know I was a virgin until I met him that night before the wedding?
“Kiss me, please.” The request escapes my lips, and I look at Dario expectantly. There is no turning back now.
The desire grows strong inside me every second I hold him this close.
I do not know myself.
The calm and virginal Tatiana has disappeared. Now this crazy maniac eager for wild sex is taking her place. This is what I want, this man in front of me.
I bring my hand up and place it on his chest. He’s not wearing a suit, just a shirt. Quickly, I remove the first two buttons.
He stops me.
I feel his hand on mine, and the pressure makes me feel his heart beating wildly. He is just as nervous and anxious as I am.
“Dario…”
“Good night, Tatiana.”
And he steps through the darkness of the hallway, leaving me with the urge and desire to lie next to his body again.