It’s not like I don’t know her situation, but she didn’t even hesitate to shut me down- without even giving it a second thought, and that stung.
“I don’t have a choice. It’s not like things just simple for me with varieties of choices to choose from. I’m not like you who can just decide one minute to do something and then have the privilege to regret it the next minute. I can’t have regrets- ever, it’s too costly for someone like me. I can’t live or die for myself, I can’t even be selfish enough to love for myself because I have my family to think of. Even though I’ve got a year to live and act as though I can afford to be selfish or to have regrets, but it’s all just a dream. Starting next year, I’ll have to do right by my family and get married to Zhin Feng, because that’s my reality- one I can’t escape from. So, I don’t have the privilege to just live as I please, leave promises unfulfilled or have regrets.” She boldly stated and I understood.
She was venting her frustrations and I understood that. The truth is, things were going pretty well between us last week, which was why I went ahead of myself to ask her out on a date, completely ignoring her situation.
“I wasn’t expecting this to be easy in the slightest, seeing that I myself I’m not a simple man either. But I’ve fallen for you Ms Penelope Xiang, and I don’t plan on losing you to anyone- not even your family. Do have a wonderful night- and if you ever think of me tonight, do give me a call” I stated confidently.
She isn’t exactly sure what my intentions are, I get that. So, before anything else, I’ll show her exactly what I feel for her. I’ll make sure there’s no doubt in her mind and in her heart when next I ask her out on a date.
Was I disappointed about her reply today? Yes. I was completely disappointed, but I’ve never pick i fight I didn’t know how to win.
I’ll win the heart of the woman that won mine, and I’ll do that without apologies.
Livy
“If I had known that you were these despicable, I never would have trusted you” Markian cited with so much spite, I fell to the cold ground.
What do I say? What do I do? This shouldn’t be happening, I never wanted him to get hurt- I didn’t want any of them to get hurt.
All I wanted was to reunite him and Sophy and then leave their lives- that was all I wanted. I wanted to make him happy by bringing back his first love into his life- what wrong have I committed?
“Mar… Markian please hear me out, I beg of you. It wasn’t my intention to hide these from you. I can explain, please- let me explain.” I pleaded with tears but I saw my softness in his eyes.
“I believed you! I’m the fu’king fool who believed you even though you didn’t give me much to believe in! Sh’t Olivia, she’s your bloody twin sister! My wife! How could you?!” Markian yelled with pure petrifying anger.
I really have lost everything. The peace I wanted to bring, the happiness I thought I could harness in seeing Markian happy- I’ve lost it all.
“It’s all my fault. Olivia never mentioned she got married to you, if she had I never would have stuck around. Obviously, I have no life here anymore- please forgive me.” Sophia intervened, but that made Markian even more furious.
“At this point, I don’t fu’king give a crap about what you both decide to do because I’m done” he coldly stated, as he angrily stood up from his chair and dashed out of the room.
He brushed past me at the door where I fell on the floor and I felt the cold shiver run down my whole body as he passed me.
“Markian please!…” I cried out, but he ignored my call as he walked down the hall.
What have I done? No. This can’t be it, I had a plan. He can’t just ignore me, I didn’t do anything wrong this time.
I gathered my strength and chased after him but I couldn’t catch up with him- he had already entered his room and by the time I got there, he slammed the door at me. I sat outside his door weeping uncontrollably but I wanted to stop.
Why was I crying? What have I done wrong?
Yes, i didn’t tell him about Sophia when she returned, and I lied to him while she was under our roof, but I tried to.
I know I hurt him by not telling him the truth but this seems more like he is hurting because he thinks I have been keeping Sophy away from him all these while.
I didn’t mean to break his trust- I swear, but finding out he cares more about Sophy was just too much for me to handle and I couldn’t stop crying.
Markian didn’t leave his room for the next 48hrs nor did he accept any food that was served to him, and I was becoming concerned.
If he was mad at me, at least before he used to show it, but this time he just locked everyone out for 2days straight. I would sit outside his door for hours begging him to scream at me, or cuss at me anything he wanted to do, but he wouldn’t open the door.
I don’t know what else to do. His phone was off, Heather and Jeffery wouldn’t pick my calls, so I went to Sophia for help.
In these 2days, Sophia had also shut me out for the fact that I lied to her about my relationship with Markian, but I was more worried about Markian.
It’s after 1am and after spending a while in front of his room with food on a tray begging him to open the door without any success, I decided to return to my room and try again the next day.
I went downstairs to the kitchen to return the food that Markian refused to eat. Since, he wasn’t eating, it’s been difficult for me to build up an appetite either.
I didn’t know if I was angry, sad or upset. How did we get here? I honestly wished I had told him everything that day he returned for New York, if only I could turn back time.
As I walked back to my room, I couldn’t help but remember how many times I messed up the chance to tell Markian the truth. Looking back at all the times I’ve hurt him, it was always one lie or the other.
As I got to my room and went inside, I was almost scared to death seeing Sophia materialize from the shadows with a tray of cookies and a glass of milk.
“You really shouldn’t cry so much, Livy or you’ll have a high blood pressure… and that wouldn’t be good for your baby” she encouraged frighteningly.
Ok, hold up a second. How does Sophia know I’m pregnant? The only 4 people who knew are, me, the doctor, Daniel and Carlos. So, how the hell does Sophia know about my pregnancy?
“Sophia… I don’t remember telling you that I was pregnant, so how the hell did you find out?” I asked sternly as she placed the snack tray on my bed side table.
“The same way I found out you married my husband after my disappearance which you brilliantly orchestrated” she replied meanly as she stared at me.
“You… you have your memories. Jeez, Sophia where really have you been for the past 6months?” I asked in fear.
“Minnesota.”
“If you’ve been in here all these while, why didn’t you come home or say anything? Why did you lie to me?” I asked sadly.
“Because I wanted everybody to see what a conniving shitty slut you truly are.”
“What?” I asked shocked as I watched a sly smirk appear on her lips.
“Bit’h, don’t gimme that look acting like you don’t know what the fu’k I’m talking about. This sh’t was going my way all these while.” She cited hatefully.