Mehn! I was finally holding Livy in my arms and there’s no way this feeling could ever be wrong. I loved this woman so much, the fear of losing her draws out the faith of seeing her always happy.
I sat there close to an hour staring at her and thinking how terrible my life would have turned out if I hadn’t realized my feeling for her earlier.
When she finally woke up- showing those gorgeous hazel eyes, it took everything in me not to kiss her and beg her not to leave me right there and then.
But she looked at me with dreamy eyes and I wasn’t sure if she was fully awake or not.
“Are you awake?” I asked concerned, as she quickly raised her head off my laps.
“Mar… Markian? How… are you here?”she asked surprised and confused.
I don’t blame her for asking- this is actually a break in, but I was disappointed at her question still.
Didn’t she miss me?
“I let myself in after everyone have gone to bed, just like last night. I knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep without me around. Tsk… you even fainted because the lights went off, what would you do without me?” I teased.
But she suddenly jumped on me with a hug so tight I could feel she genuinely missed me- and longed to see me.
“Did you miss me that much?” I asked in full contempt.
“You have no idea… i” she started but I didn’t let her finish,
“then, why did you leave?” I asked immediately.
“Because I keep making the wrong choices, and you keep getting hurt because of those choices” she answered in a haste.
I felt so relieved that she didn’t mean for any of those things to happen.
“I missed you… I couldn’t think straight without you. I wanted to see you but you hate me so much you wanted to get rid of me, I didn’t know what else to do” i confessed honestly.
She pulled away from the hug and held my face with those soft smooth hands of hers. And those eyes- oh my world- I would happily die staring at them.
Shit!… now all I think about is me dying.
I think I have a new problem and its the fact that Livy might be the end of me.
“No- I would never want to get rid of you. I just couldn’t…” she stuttered and stopped.
There she goes again, hiding what she’s truly feeling from me. I know- I know she really wants to say something to me, but she can’t.
What more do I have to do for her to trust me?
She stood up from the couch and walked to the window.
I need you to talk to me, Livy. Let’s share your problems together, that’s what couples do, right?
Then she turned back at me sincerely and said, “Everything I’ve done until now have been so hard on you, but you’ve never complained. Other men would never run to my side if they’ve gone through half of what I’ve put you through. I promise to make you happy from now on, Markian. I’ll restore all that I’ve destroyed and give you back your love and happiness.”
That’s when it hit me- of course, she must be feeling guilty about everything that had happened. She’s the nice, thoughtful and sweet lady I had married after all.
She must have been stressed out and upset lately because she’s looking for a way to explain everything to me. I believe that’s the case, and if I’m right, then I can wait. I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable and unhappy with me.
“Then let’s go home now, Livy. I don’t think your mom will turn a blind eye the 3rd time I break into her house at night.” I jokingly said to lighten up the mood. I was glad that made her chuckle.
“Ok, let’s go… I really need to catch some sleep” she said and I couldn’t agree more.
I decided to take her on a ride that night until she fell asleep. Everything between us was good and even though I needed answers, I feared the outcome.
The mood-swings kicked the next day during breakfast after I told her I had to go on a busy trip in 2days.
“No…! You can’t leave! With everything that just happened you want to leave me and go to New York for 2weeks?… why now? Call and cancel” She ordered very upset.
Honestly, I didn’t like it either and I would have given anything to escape the trip- but the deal is very important.
“I’m sorry, Love- but Castlehill have targeted this deal all last year and this year. I would have ignored it but it’s a major deal, honey. But you’ve still got me here until I leave for the trip…” I stated in a lighter tone, but that didn’t help.
“2 fu’king days isn’t enough! I need more time with you- we might not have that when you return, why don’t you understand?” she ranted.
There she goes again saying words that are beyond my comprehension.
“What don’t I understand? I’ll be back in no time, I promise. Please, don’t be mad.” I requested politely and calmly, hold her shoulders gently.
“You know what? Just on your stupid trip, you don’t care anyway. You’re just like my mother- putting business before anything else” she pouted as she angrily walked away from the breakfast table.
I was starting to feel like this is not just about the trip but something more. It’s true Livy and I skipped a lot before we got married, but since after our honeymoon it’s just been one issue after another and she just can’t stop being mad at me.
When she got back from work that evening, I was home. I arranged the dinner-table with exotic wine, sweet smelling flowers and candles.
Leaving things results to bottled up feeling which would unfortunately blow up one day. If she really loves me, she would share with me what was truly disturbing her.
But, I needed to be vulnerable and trustworthy enough for her to let down her guard and trust me. So, I revisited my past- our past, as to create an environment of trust for Livy.
I had 2wrapper rings on the dinner table similar to the one i made for her 16years ago. If i can’t get her to open up to me tonight, I promised not to bother her about it ever again.
I heard her car pull up outside and suddenly I felt a knot in my stomach. I’ve lived with this woman for almost 4momths now, but strangely I still feel nervous around her.
She pushed opened the door and walked in, but stopped halfway to take in the aroma of the dishes i had ordered to be prepared.
She walked straight to the kitchen which wasn’t very far from the dinner table, but stopped with a confused frown when she sighted me at the table.
“Markian… what’s all these?” she asked surprised and confused.
“A little something to help calm your nerves. Do you want to start eating first then take a shower or do you want to take a shower first? I had the bathe ran for you just in case.” I suggested smoothly as I walking closer to her.
She was still finding it hard to believe as she stared at the dinner table and then back at me in disbelief. I finally reached her and held her by the waist tenderly, and with my other hand I raised her chin upwards to give her a kiss on the mouth.
Damn…! I was enchanted just by the mere sight of her, and now that her tender lips were on mine, the force pulling me in became stronger every splitting second. Her lips were inviting and it was as though she wanted me just as much as I wanted her.
But she must be tired and I didn’t want to be selfish, so I released her from my grasps and my kiss- to let her make her decision.
“Mmh… I think I’ll eat first, I’m super hungry” she stated as she brushed passed.
She was so cute as she moved to the table, blushing from embarrassment. Then she stopped abstrusely as she saw the wrapper rings on the table.
I pulled out a chair and turned it away from the table as I gently sat her down. I grabbed the two rings and knelt down in front of her, hold them out to her.
“Do you remember these?” I asked in confidence that she might still recall parts of the dream she had a month ago.
“Wha… how… did you make these?” she asked anxiously.
“Yes… Livy, I made them. They’re identical to the one you always carry around and I…” I replied but was interrupted.
“Markian, it wasn’t a bad dream I had that night with the fever, was it? I was really kidnapped as a kid, wasn’t I? It really happened- it all happened, and that little girl was me. Markian, that man who took me did unspeakable things to me- things that still hunts me till date. Why I couldn’t remember any of it until recently?” she asked confused with her hands covering her face sadly.