Zanaya’s POV
“Oh God, this is torture,” Max muttered as we all lay down flat on the ground.
I turned in the opposite direction when I heard someone laughing.
My brows furrowed after I realized that Jan was laughing at our devastated state.
“Hey, why are you even here?” Tokyo pouted.
Jan KONICS always checks on us whenever we are practicing for our new song.
He just loves seeing us getting tortured because our dance instructor is so strict.
“I miss seeing the four of you laying down and out of breath due to practice. I swear you four had been busy munching chips lately, especially you, Tokyo. Your cheeks are getting bigger.” he teased and Tokyo immediately run towards him.
Of course, Jan wouldn’t let Tokyo catch him. Because the last she did, he almost threw Jan out of the building.
Among all of us, they are the closest. Maybe because they are both weird. But Jan only sees Tokyo as a sister.
We all thought that he liked her but after we saw how Jan’s face turned red because of Yuri, we’re sure Tokyo is just a sister to him.
And he’d always been our mentor even before our trainee days. The amount of respect that I have for him can’t be described.
He’s much more of a monster than our instructor during practice.
My eyes landed on Max as I saw her grab her phone when it lit up.
From the corner of my eyes, I can see Cali looking at my direction.
It’s almost a month since I last talk to Seth.
It drives me crazy and I almost lost it when I accidentally answered his call one time.
All I heard was his breathing.
I tried not to cry.
Before I stopped our communication, I told him I needed space. Not just for me but for the sake of everyone around us.
Some people are getting hurt.
I asked him to trust and wait for me.
But it’s not easy.
Every single day, my phone would ring, and Seth would send me hundreds of messages.
I would read them all but I will not reply.
He would tell me how his day has been.
He would tell me stories about their concert, like how he fell on the chair and Demo laughed at him.
He would tell me how Grey had been imitating his dance or how Sky would suddenly sing his parts.
And I knew it. He was trying to act like nothing is wrong.
I wanted to tell him that the way he fell on the chair was cute.
I wanted him to know that Grey can never imitate him perfectly because he is perfect in my eyes.
I want to tell him that no matter how beautiful Sky’s voice is, I would still fall asleep listening to his still.
I could have told him those, but I can’t.
It should have been easy to still contact him but Cali would always go to my room or ask us to hangout.
She’s no longer crying but it’s scary because her eyes no longer show sincerity.
The natural playfulness that she has had been gone.
She’s been different.
But above all this dramas, I can’t accept the fact that each of us had to suffer.
The only thing that we’re doing is to love.
Is it that really hard to love someone?
More importantly, I miss him.
I miss him so fucking much that I somehow wake up at night crying because I kept on dreaming about him.
I miss his voice. The way he teased me every time I try to snap at him.
I miss him.
I miss us.
Tokyo once showed me a tweet where a fan asked, aside from their fans, who he misses the most, and the tease actually wrote my fucking name.
To say that the fans were in frenzy was an understatement.
And I thought that was so sweet.
I look at Cali and met her eyes.
How long should I sacrifice until she gets better?
I wanted to ask that question.
I know she felt unfair about me being allowed to date but our circumstances are different.
But then I know that we’re both entitled to love.
And then I heard Max squealing.
I chuckled at how cute she looked.
“What?” I asked.
“Have you heard the news? SHADOW had been nominated for a major awards in America, oh my gosh. Sky must be freaking out!” she squealed and I had to cover my ears.
“So you’re happy for him? What happened to kill the fuck out of him, huh?” I raised my eyebrow and chuckled at the sight of her red cheeks.
And then we heard someone clearing her throat.
Cali.
Max and I exchanged meaningful glances before both looking away from each other.
He must have been happy.
My phone is inside my bag and is in silent mode.
He must have been sending me messages about it.
Should I congratulate him later?
I mean, Cali wouldn’t know right.
Plus, it’s just one text. I think I at least have the right to that.
I’ve been neglecting him for a month and I am glad he was busy on tour.
At least he is being pre-occupied with other things.
After all this bullshit, I promise to make up for him every single day.
I sat from the ground when our manager suddenly entered the room.
“Zanaya, you have a sudden project,” she told me and my brows furrowed.
“But we’re in the middle of practicing for our new song,” I told her.
Our management normally doesn’t give us jobs when we are preparing for our comeback.
They want us to focus on our songs.
“I know, but this is a special request that our boss can’t decline,” she told us and even Max stopped what she’s doing.
“What is it?” I asked confused.
“A commercial, with some actor I believe.”
“Ewwww, Zaya…” Tokyo teased.
I didn’t even notice that she’s back.
“Who?” Max asked as Cali stood up to grab a drink.
“Remember that emcee from that festival? I think that’s him,” she added and my mouth went agape.
That creep.
Why do I smell some trouble?