Bella’s POV
After taking medicine, he sat down at the chair that was beside the bed. It was starting to get awkward due to the thick silence. I started to fiddle with my fingers. I did not know what to say nor what was going on in his mind.
As I lifted up my eyes to look at his face, I frowned. His face features had turned into sadness. I did not understand the change in mood. He was grinning like a small kid just minutes ago.
I did not dare to break the silence. Lucky for me he was the first one to break the silence. But I wished he did not. Because I was dreading the question.
“Why?” he asked in a small voice. I did not need him to finish the question. I knew the time would come when he would ask that question. But was I ready for that question? No. But I had to be. I owe him.
Before I could open my mouth to answer, “Do you hate me that much that you felt like you would rather die than to give me a chance?” he asked as I can literally feel the sadness latched in his voice.
I wanted to cry out saying no. But I did not know how to. I could not bring myself to open my mouth. I could not find the courage to answer.
” I know everything was difficult for you to take in. But that does not mean, you had to die.” he clenched his fist at the last sentence. I know I had damaged him a bit when I took the decision. And I am going to make it up for it.
“I know you probably think of me as a monster. And I am. So I understand that you hate me. But I cannot let you go. I won’t.” as he said this he stood up to leave. But what he did not expect was that I was going to stop him.
As he felt my hands grab on to his hands, he froze. He slowly turned around to face me. When he turned around and saw me holding his hands, his eyes went wide. I slowly tucked his hands, asking him to take a seat.
He obeyed my request. As he sat down, I realised it was my time to talk. He deserves an explanation, after me putting him through so much. Hence, I decided that I will give him the answers he deserves.
I took a sigh.” I know what I did was unacceptable. But I was scared at the point of time. It was like all the walls were closing in on me. I had lost a life that I had built with so much dedication. And when I saw it crumbling right in front of me, I did not know what else to do.” I said as I looked at my fingers not daring to look at his face.
“I am not justifying my actions. And I am the one to be sorry, I know you must hate me now. I am sorry for the pain I had caused you. I am so sorry. So sorry.” My voice begging for his forgiveness. A tear rolled down as another one followed.
I thought he would have left by now. But no. What he did next caught me by surprise. He engulfed me into a hug. “shh it’s ok. Don’t cry ” he comforted me. I did not know what to do.
He nuzzled his face in the crook of my neck as his breath tickled my neck and shiver ran down my body. Noticing this, I could feel his smile. He slowly let go of me, yet holding on to my hands. And this time I did not pull away.
Seeing this, he smiled. He soon started to speak. “I should be the one to apologise. I did not realise how much difference I had made that required a sudden change. Your dreams were shattered because of me. You have nothing to be sorry for. Gosh how stupid have I been.” he said as he shook his head.
I just sat there hearing him ramble on how much of a fool and idiot he had been. A smile formed as I stared at his cuteness. It was such a sight to watch him ramble. I couldn’t help but stare.
After a few seconds, he caught me staring and I quickly bowed my face as my hair hid my now crimson red face. I started to blush having him caught me staring at him.
I heard him chuckling before he brought my face up as we met eyes. His eyes, they were so blue, I feel I can just swim in them.
” You can stare all you want. After all, they are yours to look.” he said as I saw a smirk on his face. If possible, my face got even redder and I would be mistaken to be a dark red tomato.
Seeing this he started laughing at my tomato face. He looked so attractive when he laughed, as his eyes sparkled when he laughed. I could watch him laugh all day. It was addictive.
At that point of time, I only wanted to tell one thing.
“I want to give us a chance.”