“That would be the latter.”
“Figures. … Know what, Bellona; I’m discovering that he really is a piece of work.”
“So … you want to talk about it?”
“No … not really.”
I start to walk away; but, Bellona reaches out and lightly grasps hold of my wrist to stop me from leaving…
“Helena … Walter told me that you threatened to go to Alpha Gordon; and, demand that he kicks Walter out of the pack, or else you won’t marry Alan?”
“Yes.”
Bellona starts admonishing me…
“What were you thinking; Helena … don’t you know how stupid that was?! You should never make any demands on Alpha Gordon; or, even talk about planning on doing so. I know you must’ve been pissed at Walter at that moment; but still, that’s no excuse for that crazy talk. … Damn it, Helena; you’re in no position to be saying shit like that!”
Bellona’s right; I was pissed at Walter … and, looking back on it, that was ‘crazy talk’ spouted out in the heat of the moment. I know now that I was wrong for saying it … but still, who’s Bellona to be chastising me for this; especially since she does that all the time. … She’s starting to put me back into a foul mood…
“You’re one to talk; Bellona … you’re always arguing with and challenging Father and Alpha Gordon; and, placing demands on them!”
“That’s different.”
“What’s different? What … just because you’re some tough, kick-ass bitch who pretty much dominates in the DSD; that means it’s okay for you to challenge Alpha Gordon … but, since I’m not, I can’t; is that?”
“No … it’s because I’m not slated to be our pack’s next Luna.”
I have no response … with that, Bellona has managed to momentarily silence me. … She continues…
“Helena; whether you like it or not, you’re about to be married to Alpha Gordon’s son … and, going to be our next Luna. Please keep that in mind; and, be careful.
Remember to watch what you say and do … because, believe me when I tell you; there are a lot of pack members watching you, now that you’re so close to marrying Alan.”
She’s right; again … as much as I hate it, I have to marry Alan; and, be Luna of the Rainier Pack. I emit an exasperated huff; and, resignedly sigh…
“So; I suppose this is what’s become of my life … I have to watch the wolf who I wrongly believed was the true love of my life marry one of my beloved sisters; while, being forced myself into a marriage with a wolf I have no feelings for whatsoever.”
Bellona drapes her arm over my shoulders; and, tells me…
“Alpha … Beta … Gamma daughters … that’s just how it is for us. The burden we’re stuck with. We don’t have the luxury of choosing who we get to be with. We may wind up being stuck with a wolf we either have no feelings for … or, loathe … while, spending our entire lives being unable to be with the one we truly love.”
I know Bellona’s trying to console me; but, her words are seemingly mocking me, while piercing my heart. Of course I know this is how it is for us; there’s no need for her to remind me, and … though, totally unintentionally … throw it in my face. … She’s forcing my hand; as I pettily bring her secret up, to throw it back in her face…
“I hope you can remember what you said to me this afternoon; Bellona … because; the same applies to you, as well.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean…”
I can’t believe I’m about to bring this up, and reveal to Bellona that I know about her deepest, darkest secret; but, right now, I’m just so pissed and hurt…
“I know how you feel about Pomona … that you really love her.”
Bellona chuckles. “Well, duh … everyone knows that I love Pomona. So; what are…”
“No … I’m saying; I know that you love Pomona … I know how you really feel about her.”
Bellona seems a bit perplexed now. She either really hasn’t caught on to what I’m telling her; or, she’s trying to play dumb, and keep up the facade.
“Helena; I really don’t know what you’re trying to get at … but, yes; I really do love Pomona … just like I love you and the twins … though it’s true, I love Pomona the most; but; all of you guys know that already. Even still, you’re all my sisters; and, I love you all dearly.”
It’s time to end this discussion for now … and, hopefully finish by getting my point across…
“That’s right; we’re all your sisters … Pomona, as well.” I tenderly take hold of Bellona’s hands, and gently squeeze them; while, gazing directly into her eyes. “Remember, Bellona; you can only love your sisters so much; regardless of whether you wish you could go further … there are boundaries we shouldn’t go beyond.”
In an instant, I can see in Bellona’s eyes that she finally understands what I’ve been talking about. She lovingly smiles at me, and slowly nods; then, raises my hands up to her mouth, and softly kisses them. She releases them, and starts to walk off; but, suddenly stops. With her back still facing me; she says…
“You’re right, Helena; I do love her … I always have; and, I always will. And, that’s my burden that I have to carry with me for the rest of my life. … But, don’t worry; I know she’s my sister, and that there’s a line drawn … and, I have no intention of crossing that line.”