Adaline
Our lips moved and crashed against each other. His lips were soft, but I didn’t feel anything. It was like kissing a random person.
No butterflies.
No passion.
No love.
It was like a forceful kiss. Something you didn’t want to do, but was forced into it.
This is so different from my first kiss that was with A-
No. I can’t let such thoughts invade my mind when I’m kissing someone else.
I may seem like a bitch right now, but I’m just confused.
Ayato is always trying to get to me, make fun of me, flirt with me, and I don’t know if he likes me or not.
But, I came to the conclusion that he’s just playing around. Why else would he act that way around me? Playful. Mischievous. And cocky.
I don’t understand!
It makes me want to rip my hair out in frustration.
What do you want with me, Anders?! What do you want with me?!
Angered, I bit Zach’s bottom lip so hard that I think I tasted some blood.
“Ow,” He groaned, stopping the kiss. I widened my eyes, and retracted back to look at him.
Putting my hands on my mouth, I gasped. “Oh my God, Zach! I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”
I went closer to his face to see his bottom lip. His finger was right where I bit him, so I slowly took his hand away, making it easier to inspect the cut.
I breathed out a sigh of relief when I saw that the cut wasn’t that bad, but it was bleeding a little.
“I’m so sorry, Zach! I’m so sorry! Uh, we have to take a napkin. Damn, I don’t know where the napkins are. I’m so sorry. Let’s go to the kitchen. Yeah, to the kitchen,” I panicked, gripping his hand. I dragged him to the kitchen, where I turned on the water at the sink. I gently pushed him towards the sink.
He leaned down and washed his hands, then cupped his hands under the running water, splashing it on his lips.
After that, he drew the back of his hand over his mouth, turning to me.
I sighed, and smiled at him. Thank God it wasn’t something serious.
Thinking more about his cut, my face burned and began to redden.
I caused it.
I looked down. After a few seconds, I heard some steps coming my way, then two feet stopped right in front of me.
I swallowed nervously, my intertwined hands sweating.
His hand cupped my chin, slowly raising my head up. I stared in his beautiful green eyes as he stared into my brown ones.
He was smiling, in a way calming my rapid beats of heart.
I let out a shaky breath as I realized he was leaning in.
My eyes fluttered close as he was coming closer. When his lips were about to connect with mine, a boom was heard followed by a loud, screeching noise.
We jumped away from one another, and froze for a few seconds. Our instincts kicked in, and we went outside the kitchen, only to see Paula tugging at her hair.
Her head snapped to us, her eyes landing on me. I widened my eyes when she began to come towards me.
When she was right in front of my face, her index finger shot up pointing right in front of my eyes.
I stiffened, and looked at her finger’s long nail. Gulping, I looked in her eyes.
“You,” She hissed, shaking her finger. “Because of you we’re not anymore at the beach. I also had to come with your freaking cousin, Samantha, because Zach took a car and left.”
So that’s how Zach came here.
There were four cars.
Ayato’s parents’ car, Ayato’s car, Samantha’s car and Zach’s car.
I raised my hands up in surrender. “Hey! That’s not my fault!”
“Oh! It’s totally your fault! I was just talking with some hot boys, then your sister came saying that we have to leave,” She screeched, making a scowl appear on my face.
“Yeah!” Juliet exclaimed out of nowhere, agreeing with her friend.
Paula turned to her and glared, making Juliet snap her mouth shut instantly.
Turning to me, Paula opened her mouth to speak once more. A hand that plopped on her shoulder stopped her.
“Okay, Polly. I think this is enough,” My sister rolled her eyes. I furrowed my eyebrows. Polly?
Paula huffed, and crossed her arms over her chest. Shrugging Jemima’s hand off of her shoulder, she turned around and went to the living room’s couch with one last glare directed towards me.
“Whatevs. Let’s go, Juliet.”
Whatevs?
Jemima watched Paula as she left us , then turned towards me, an annoyed look in her eyes.
“I never liked that girl,” She muttered, rubbing her temples. My eyebrows shot up.
“But I thought you were best friends?” I said, making it come out as a question instead.
Jemima gave me an incredulous look, and gave out a fake laugh.
“Ha! As if. She was just in my cheerleading team and we had to get along with each other.”
I pursed my lips, the next words that went out of Jemima’s mouth making me choke on air.
“Anyways, I don’t want to be on the cheerleading team anymore,” She shrugged her shoulders. I gasped, putting a hand over my chest.
“What?!”
“What you heard. When we get back, I’m gonna stop being a cheerleader,” She said it like it was nothing. “I didn’t even want in the first place to be one.”
“But-But, you are their captain, you can’t dro-” She cut me off.
“Yes, I can. Paula will be more than happy to be their captain. I just wanted to be popular so that Finn would notice me. And it happened. Now, I don’t want to be false anymore. You know? After all these years, the words hoodie and converses sound really good to me.”
With my jaw dropped, I registered my sister’s words in my head. Once done, I put the back of my hand on her forehead, checking her temperature.
“Are you okay? Did you catch a cold? Was the water warm? Was Finnegan sick and when you kissed he gave you his cold?” I ranted, confused by my sister’s change. She scowled and swatted my hand away.
“No! Finn is very healthy, the water was fine, and I’m feeling very good, thank you! And stop calling him Finnegan! Just call him Finn!”
I rolled my eyes. “Finnegan.”
“Ugh!” She groaned in frustration. “You’re impossible!”
I laughed.
Someone cleared their throat behind me, making us snap our attention to that person. Zach.
“Umm, are you done? I have to talk to Li- uh, Adaline here…”
I forgot about him completely.
Jemima furrowed her eyebrows, and looked at Zach suspiciously. “Why?”
“Well, I want to talk to her about our-” He paused, looking at me. My eyes widened a little. Don’t say it. “-date.”
Goddammit!
I pursed my lips, and looked at Jemima who had her arms crossed over her chest, her eyebrows raised up on her forehead.
Blinking slowly, she shook her head gently as in snapping out of her trance.
“Excuse me, what?!” She screeched. I closed my eyes, knowing that she’s about to fangirl.
When nothing happened, I slowly opened my eyes. She was looking from Zach to me, an incredulous look on her face.
“We’re dating,” Zach explained carefully. Jemima looked towards him sideways, her head turned towards me.
“I understood since the first time you said that. And, no, this is not going to happen.”
“Why?” I chimed in, confused. Why wasn’t she fangirling? That’s what she does when I speak with her about Ayato.
“Because you can not. Ayato will not let you be together for sure,” She looked towards me. My mouth opened a little, my eyebrows shooting up.
“And why is that?”
“Because I talked to hi- Nothing,” She stopped abruptly when she realized what she was going to say. I furrowed my eyebrows, and narrowed my eyes at her. “The thing is, Ayato will not let this happen. I’m sure about that.”
She finished, then looked at Zach. “Your relationship will not hold forever, just so you know. I will not let it happen. Friends or not, you’re still not good for my sister,” With this, she turned on her heels and went to Finnegan who was sitting on the couch besides Tyler. Tyler made room for Jemima to sit down beside Finnegan.
I looked at Zach, and mouthed a ‘sorry’. He smiled and waved a hand.
I looked down, and sighed.
This is making me more confused than ever.
***
Paula, Juliet and Tyron were sitting on a couch while Jemima, Finnegan and Tyler were sitting on the one across from that couch.
On the a couch’s arm, beside Tyron was sitting Zach, speaking with him and on the other arm was sitting Samantha.
She kept on stealing glances between Zach and I since we had that argument -if you could call it that- with Jemima.
I, on the other side, was standing up with my back leaned against the wall besides the staircase.
Noah and Laila were sitting down in the ground, Laila in Noah’s arms.
Ayato’s parents were still at the beach, I understood.
As for Ayato, he was still upstairs.
Looking down, I wondered if I’m the only one who felt very awkward and out of place right here.
I think that I really am the only one feeling like this.
Paula and Juliet were looking at their phones, gossiping about one thing or another. Tyron and Zach were talking, Tyler joining them.
Noah and Laila were laughing and flirting with each other, the same with Jemima and Finnegan. Well, mostly Jemima. Finn was just blushing at her words.
Samantha took her phone out, not looking at me anymore.
I sighed quietly.
Did I make the right decision saying yes to Zach?
After I gave my first kiss to Ayato, I thought that it’s okay to kiss guys. But, it’s not. I understood now.
You have to feel something for that person to kiss him. And for Zach, I don’t feel anything. The kiss is all the proof I need.
No ‘sparks’. No passion. No love. No nothing.
Just something random, without a meaning behind it. The kiss happened just like that. And I don’t really regret it. It made me realize that I don’t really have feelings for Zach.
Sure, he’s a cute and funny guy, but not my type.
The corners of my lips tugged to the side in a tight smile.
When you think about it, I thought that this was my type. But, saying it with regret, it’s not.
Too late for me to realize that, I know.
But, how could I know? Maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s just my brain coming after my heart in the matters if love.
I’ve been doing so many mistakes in love. I trusted the same guy who broke my heart twice.
Not dumb enough, I said yes to a guy who I barely know.
Maybe I need to slow down a little bit, and take it easy.
That’s what I have to do.
Just take it easy.
Sounds of footsteps were heard as they climbed down the stairs, stopping my train of thoughts.
I turned my head to the side while everyone else looked towards the stairs.
First, a hand slid down slowly on the railing of the stairs, and then, second, Ayato came into my vision.
My breath hitched in my throat when I saw his tired face.
He stopped and looked at all the people in front of him that were sitting on the couches, them looking right back at him.
I examined him. Slumped shoulders, tired eyes, and the corners of his lips were turned down. I pursed my lips, confused and concerned of the state he’s in.
As if sensing my eyes on him, he turned towards me, his eyes turning blank, his face instantly cold.
I sucked in a sharp breath. He looked in my eyes for a few seconds then turned towards the others.
Ouch.
He went to them, greeting everyone but Zach. That was the thing that made my curiosity spark. Why? Why did he not greet Zach?
***
“It’s too silent here! Let’s play a game,” Noah exclaimed. Everyone agreed.
“Seven minutes in heaven?” He asked, and once again everyone agreed.
As they sat down on the ground in a circle, I stood in my place, my back still leaning against the wall.
“Adaline?” Someone called me, making me snap my head up. It was Zach.
“Do you want to join us?”
I thought for a few seconds, all the eyes on me. Eventually, I nodded my head and went towards them, sitting between Jemima and Laila.
Ayato was just across from me, making it harder for me not to look at him.
They put a bottle in the middle and spun it. The bottle stopped at Juliet and Tyler.
Everyone cheered, besides me and Ayato, as they went into a closet, then came out after seven minutes, their clothes and hair really messed up.
I crinkled my nose up in disgust.
After half an hour of playing this game, everyone agreed that this was the last spun of bottle.
The bottle spun and spun, making me more and more anxious.
What if it stops at me?
Please, God, let it not stop at me.
Let it not stop at me.
Let it not stop at me.
I closed my eyes shut, and held my breath.
Everyone began to cheer, making me aware of the bottle stopping.
I slowly opened my eyes, and let out a breath of relief. It didn’t stop at me.
The relief that I was feeling left shortly after I saw who were the one who had to stay in the closet for seven minutes.
Samantha and Zach.
Jemima lead them to the closet. We watched them as they followed Jemima.
When they were about to go into the closet, Zach turned to me and smiled.
I smiled back at him.
They went in, Jemima closing the door after them.
Feeling some eyes boring into the side of my head, I turned my head only to see Ayato looking at me.
I blushed, and looked down.
After seven agonizing minutes, Jemima slightly opened the door , peeking inside if the closet.
I turned my head down, and waited for them to come back to the game.
They finally came, Zach and Samantha sitting on their spots.
Jemima sat beside me shortly after, and looked towards me with a blank look masking over her face.
“That’s why I don’t want you to be with him.”
I furrowed my eyebrows, and opened my mouth to ask her what was she talking about, but the front door opening stopped me.
“Hello, kids!” Ayato’s mom, Diana, exclaimed as she came in with his father.
We greeted them back in unison, and raised up.
We helped them with the bags they had in their hands, and listened to them as they said where they had to be put.
As me and the girls went to the kitchen with Diana trailing after us, she clapped her hands.
“Who wants to help me prepare the dinner?”
We turned to her, smiling. “Me!”
***
I entered my room, and plopped down on my bed tired and full of the food Jem, Laila, Sam, Juliet, Paula, Diana and I made.
The door opened shortly after, making me raise up my head.
Ayato.
My heartbeats sped up considerably.
He didn’t even spare me a glance, took some of his clothes from the closet and went into the bathroom.
“I’m going to take a shower,” He said, then left me alone in the room.
I sighed, and put my hands over my face.
Zach was staying in the same room with Tyler, Tyron and Noah while Paula, Juliet and Samantha were staying in the same room. Poor Samantha.
Jemima was staying with Finnegan. I almost bet on the happiness she was feeling right now.
I was left staying with Ayato.
This is actually his room.
After twenty minutes of me thinking about everything and nothing in special, I raised myself up from the bed.
Beginning to walk around the room, I looked at the photos on the walls.
I smiled while I touched some of them.
They were with Ayato when he was little.
Such an innocent and cute smile he had.
My eyes stopped on a certain photo.
It was when he was kinda sixteen. I didn’t even recognize him.
Big and round glasses were sitting on his nose, he was hugging a girl.
My breath hitched in my throat.
She had black, long hair and blue eyes. Pink lips, and a slim body. She was indeed beautiful.
Who is she?
Shaking my head, I turned from the photo as a lump began to form into my throat preventing me to breath.
I searched around his room, trying to forget about the photo.
And I forgot about it when I opened a drawer. I took out an old newspaper and began to unfold it.
Politics.
I rolled my eyes.
Of course.
When I was to put it down, something little on the corner of the newspaper caught my eyes.
“Sixteen years old girl dead in a car accident yesterday night
She was heading home after a party, then another car came and crashed into her. Her parents are devastated, the same is her boyfriend.”
I furrowed my eyebrows. Why does Ayato have this newspaper?
As I looked over it, the door to the bathroom opened, making me snap my head to the side.
“Look,” Ayato sighed , his eyes closed. “I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting towards you today, it’s just that- What is that in you hand?” He watched the newspaper carefully. I looked at it and shrugged my shoulders.
“A newspaper.”
“Give me that!” He exclaimed, snatching it from me. I snapped my head towards him, and furrowed my eyebrows.
“Hey!”
“You shouldn’t be watching over people’s things!” He threw the newspaper in the drawer and slammed the drawer shut. I flinched.
He turned towards me, and glared, my heart speeding up.
He was angry, and I didn’t know why.
“Why are you angry?” I asked in a small voice.
“Why am I angry?! I’m not angry at all! Do I seem angry to you?!” He screamed, making me look down.
I pursed my lips and furrowed my eyebrows when I saw one of his hands bandaged up.
I took his hand in mine. “What happened? Is it when you punched the wall?” I asked, looking at him.
His eyes were boring into mine. He nodded his head slowly.
“I’m sorry.”
He sighed, taking his hand away, and sat on the bed.
“Just go to sleep,” He ran a hand through his hair, tired. I didn’t push it further and nodded my head. I’m also tired.
I took a pillow from the bed, and put it on the floor.
I laid down on the floor, putting my head on the pillow.
I heard Ayato groan. He came to me.
“Up.”
“Why?”
“I won’t let you sleep down on the floor. Up.”
“No.”
“You’re gonna make my shirt dirty.”
I sighed and raised up, when something in me clicked. I was still wearing his shirt.
“So, where am I supposed to be sleeping, then?” I asked, looking around the room.
“On the bed.”
I gave him a suspicious look. “Then, where are you going to sleep?”
“On the bed.”
“But, I’m dating someone…”
He rolled his eyes. “But we’re not dating. We’re gonna sleep together as friends.”
I narrowed my eyes at him.
“No.”
He sighed. “Then I’m gonna take the floor.”
I nodded my head slowly. “Okay.”
I don’t want him to sleep on the floor either.
I laid down on the bed, drawing the covers over me.
Ayato closed the lights, after taking a pillow for him to sleep down on the floor.
After everything fell into silence, I began to feel guilty. I don’t want him to sleep on the floor.
“Ayato?” I called.
“Hmm?”
“Promise me you’ll stay on your side?”
There was silence for a few seconds before he spoke.
“Yeah.”
“Then come here.”
He raised up immediately, then the bed went down as he sat on it.
He went under the covers as we laid with our backs to each other.
I smiled, the thought of sleeping with a guy in the same bed making my heart jump.
“Good night,” He whispered.
My smile widened, and I closed my eyes.
“Good night.”