CALIFF
Sighing, I looked down at the tray full of food. I was losing all the hopes I had. If there was one thing I kept holding on to and never let go, it was my marriage, and Shadow remembered me- us.
Given that she hated me and the anguish- I saw it in her eyes. And that meant something- she still felt something for me. Hope surged deep inside me again despite everything we went through.
“I’ll go first.” Zarah went ahead in the hallway.
I followed her and stayed behind the wall.
“So you’re still here,” Shadow said sarcastically. “Oh, right. You’re sleeping with His Majesty.”
“I know you’re hurting, Shadow,” Zarah told her calmly.
“You don’t know what I feel. You haven’t-”
“Lost someone dear to me? I do, Shadow. I’ve lived long enough to watch my parents die, and my brother die, and everyone I cared about. The men I loved and your mother, and the reason why I distance myself from everyone, from your father, because I’ve endured so many heartaches in my life.”
“So you want pity or sympathy? Is that it?” She snorted. “Well, you won’t get from me.”
“You’re still the daughter of Sebastien, raised by Samuel, a good man, and there’s still a witch’s blood in your veins.”
“You mean to say I should be grateful that I’m still alive. I’m human. I can’t do magic anymore. The witch blood in me is gone. Did you not feel it?”
“You’re still you.”
“Well, maybe I should die with her. If you’re here to convince me there’s still hope, I’m not so hopeful right now. You’ve said it yourself. You watched the people you loved die many times. And Califf is a werewolf and ages slowly, while I, on the other hand, get wrinkled, suffer from menopause, graying hair, incontinence, and Alzheimer’s, so no fucking way.”
“I know you’ve suffered a lot, but we’re not giving up on you. Just do us a favor and give us some time to help you.”
“And it’s been what? A week? Yet you haven’t found anything. You’re a witch, Zarah, one of the most powerful, but you couldn’t figure out what’s wrong with me. And where are the people who are responsible for killing my wolf?”
I drew a deep breath and walked in. Zarah stood before her while she was on her phone, sitting Indian-style at the center of the bed.
“Oh, so you’ve been listening over there? Yeah, of course, I get it. The hearing thing. And I can’t hear and read your thoughts.” Her gaze dropped to the tray in my hand. “You don’t have to bring me food, Alpha. I should be the one serving you.”
I put on a small smile even if it was hard nowadays. “You need to eat something. You barely touched your breakfast, and you didn’t go down to join-”
“The pack and my father?” She snorted. “No, thank you, while everyone looks at me like a fragile China doll. Hard pass.”
“They care about you, baby,” Miserable, I muttered. I put the tray on the bedside table. “They’re also hurting. You are their Luna.”
“I’m not! Not anymore. It stopped when you decided to save me!” Her voice pierced my heart. Her eyes bulged out, filling with rage. “Get the fuck out of this room! I don’t wanna see you, Califf. You and I are over the moment you put my life in your hands.”
“Just take some bite, okay? I’ll be down if you need me.” I ignored the ache in my chest. I knew she would blame me, but she was still my wife, and I would take care of her and be there for her no matter how many times she tried to push me away.
“Yeah, right?” She arched a brow inquisitively. “Because I can’t mind linking with you anymore. I wonder what you’re thinking right now.”
“Do you wanna know, Shadow?” Fuck. It hurt watching her this way. “I will never give up on us. You can act like you don’t care about me anymore, but you and I are forever through eternity. Deep in your heart, you still love me.”
“Fuck you. I can’t even stand the pathetic look on your face right now. Don’t get your hopes up, Alpha, and I’m filing my divorce once I get back to the US.” She looked at Zarah. “You can still create a portal, can you?”
“We’ll talk about that later,” Zarah said dismissively as she gazed at me with deep sympathy.
“Eat something, baby.” My voice grew pitiful.
“Don’t call me that. I hate it. It makes me wanna puke.” Her tone was laced with disgust.
I stared at her and didn’t know I was crying until she blurred in my sight. “Okay, Shadow.”
“Just get out! Both of you! I wish I could just forget you!” She grabbed the tray and threw it at us. The food spattered over the bed and floor, and the plate and the tableware thud and scattered all over. “I wanna forget everything. Please, Zarah, just make me forget!”
My chest heaved. My heart broke, listening to her begging to forget me. With my wolf on the edge, I dashed out of the room and found myself underground. I smelled blood all over, making my wolf see threats.
“What are you doing here, Alpha Califf?” the guard asked.
“Where’s that asshole who spiked her drink?”
“Alpha King forbid anyone to come down.”
“No. I want to see that son of a bitch,” I said sternly while my wolf growled to come out.
“Califf, come with me.”
I stiffened at Sebastien’s voice behind me. I turned to face him. “Where’s that motherfu-”
“Leave him.” His tone blazed with authority. “He’s worthless. Just follow me, please?”
Since he asked nicely, I followed him up. “Where have you been? Did you find anything?” I slowed down to see them gathered around. “What’s this all about?”
“We’re here for you, brother,” Calder said.
“I don’t want you all to be here, especially you, Calder. You have work back in the State.”
“I don’t care. And I’m making progress with the High Lord.” Alexander had been teaching him some knowledge about his gift, and I hoped we could use it to get Shadow’s wolf back, or I would forever hate myself.
It was the hardest decision I made, but I would do it in a heartbeat to save her life. She could hate me now, but losing her forever would also kill me and my wolf.
“Bite us,” said Duke.
“You can’t leave the pack. You know I can’t be there right now.”
“Don’t worry. We’re going back in the afternoon. Can you convince her to come back with us?”
I laughed bitterly and shook my head. I closed my eyes briefly and let the pain burn through my chest. When I opened my eyes, I let them see my vulnerability as if I were nothing inside but ashes. “She just told us to make her forget me and everything, Kindra, and it did not just break my heart. It kills me.”
“Your wolf still recognizes her as his mate?”
I looked at Kairo. “Yes. That’s why he’s in distress and hurting.”
“That’s a good sign. All you have to do is convince her to mate-”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Lyon hit him in the head. “Are you nuts? Luna is in pain, and all you could think is-”
“That’s actually a good idea-”
“See?” Kairo chuckled, his eyes shining.
Gunting, I faced Zarah. “Why is it a good idea, Zarah? And how am I going to convince her when she hates me?”
“Dream spell.”
“No, no, no. Fuck no.” I shook my head violently. “I can’t do that. I won’t violate her. Ever. That’s not an option. I can’t believe you’re suggesting this to me, Zarah. She’s like your daughter.”
“I want the mating bond to connect with her. Do you know how strongly it affects your relationship? She will not feel abandoned and alone. She needs you right now. And at this moment, I have to be honest with you. I can’t find anything to get her wolf back.”
“So her wolf isn’t dead? That’s a good thing, right?” Zack said. “There must be a spell to wake up the dormant wolf.”
“It’s not dead or dormant. It’s gone. If her wolf is dead, she could die too, Zack,” Zarah explained.
He shivered. “I don’t know if I should feel relieved or aggravated.”
“That’s why she’s-” I swallowed hard. “Human now.”
“So that thing made by a witch is like a cure that kills the wolf gene. So what if she’s given a Lycan blood?”
“She’s a Lycan. And I don’t think it diagnostically works when done magically.” When Kindra looked confused, Duke shrugged and added, “You know what I mean.”
“Maybe there’s a trigger to wolf out, like threatening her or hurting Cal,” Everlee suggested.
“No way,” Lyon disagreed. “She’d been through hell. I won’t support that. All she needs is time to heal.”
“If it’s possible, we should try everything, read, do research, or find someone who has gone through as she did. We can ask the elders.”
“I’ve read through books, asked the Lycan Council, and found nothing. Once it’s gone, it’s gone,” Sebastien said dismissively.
“So that’s why you were gone for days without telling us?” Zarah faced him.
“I’m sorry. I’m hurting, Zarah. I’m responsible for losing her wolf. I made that decision.”
“We did together, Alpha King. I’m as much as responsible as you are.”
“Stop with blame games. It’s not helping.”
“I can’t just stand there and do nothing, Zarah. She’s my only daughter, and it pains me to see her losing herself in sorrow. If I was away looking for a cure, at least I wouldn’t see her alone to herself.”
“Maybe you can see who did this? The person who ordered to put the poison in her drink,” said Zack.
“Have you forgotten what Margaret said? That was the work of a witch. Of course, she made sure it wouldn’t be traced back to the person who ordered, but Margaret is good enough to know the witch.”
“Well, that’s a bummer.”
“Does the Conclave make the decision?”
“Over what?” I asked Zarah.
“She no longer has a Lycan wolf, leaving him no heir.”
“Wow. They’re assholes,” Zack said unapologetically.
“They are,” Sebastien agreed.
“Are you all done talking about me?”