Alicia
I could hardly keep my mind on what the teacher was even saying in trigonometry. My eyes kept wandering to the door wondering if he was going to be there waiting for me to get out of class. Of course he wasn’t. I hadn’t seen him for the rest of the day, so I can only assume he was going to great lengths to not run into me, or he had left.
I know most girls would lose their minds with what Logan had said to me, with what he had done, but that’s not what I saw. I saw a scared little boy who was trying to act like a man in control. There is something wrong and I’m going to get to the bottom of it. I see that he is drowning and I just can’t let him go through it alone.
Once the bell rang I bolted for the door. I didn’t talk to anyone, just left the school on a mission. I of course texted Logan to see if I could convince him to meet me somewhere to talk, but of course he ignored my texts. At this point I wasn’t even sure if he had blocked my phone number. Not sure where I could even find him I just went home to try to figure things out.
Once I puttered around my room in agony from not knowing where he was, or what was on his mind, or how I could help him I finally gave in and texted him again.
Logan, if you’re not going to answer my texts I’m just going to come over to your house.
I suddenly saw the three dots indicated that he was answering me back, well that got his attention.
I really don’t want you to do that, I may be busy over here.
He texted back with a wink emoji. I rolled my eyes.
Logan, cut the shit, we both know you are not this guy so tell me something real.
I was hoping that a little dose of real talk will get him out of this act he was trying to play. I heard my phone ding.
Alicia, you have to move on, I’m not the guy for you. Please, just leave it be. You will find someone special someday, but that is not me.
Well at least he wasn’t trying to act like a playboy anymore, but that was it, I was tired of waiting, if he wasn’t gonna come to me, I was coming to him.
I will be at your house soon.
I simply texted. I ignored any other text that came from him, I knew what they were going to say. They were going to say, don’t come over, you’re wasting your time, move on. Well Logan, I am not leaving your side whether you like it or not.
It was pouring down rain which made me nervous cause I borrowed my parents car, and I wasn’t all that used to driving in the rain. All the while, my phone was dinging in my purse incessantly. I was surprised he was acting so panicked about me coming over, I thought he wanted me to catch him in an unsavoury position, if that is in fact what was happening.
I pulled up to the front of his house and got out of the car, of course I didn’t bring an umbrella and I was getting soaked but I didn’t care. I walked up the walkway and up the steps and was just about to ring the doorbell when a hand suddenly grabbed my arm and spun me around. There standing in front of me was Logan soaking wet and panting like he had run here.
“Logan, what are you doing out here? I thought you said you were at home?” I asked very confused.
He stepped back putting his head in his hands. When he looked up he just stood there, sopping wet and stared at me. His face was full of anguish and I started to panic and didn’t know what I could do to make it better.
“Logan, please talk to me. What is wrong, I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s wrong.” Tears started to fall down both our faces.
The rain continued to pour down but we didn’t move. Just continue to stare at each other, neither one of us knowing what to say. I started to try to take a step toward him and he took a step back like I was going to attack. I looked down at my feet unable to look at him anymore without crying.
“Ok, I’ll go. If you need me to, I’ll go. You don’t have to see me anymore.” I said in defeat.
I began to walk away and he grabbed my arm once again. I turned around and saw fear in his eyes I have never seen before. After standing there like that for what felt like forever, he finally pulled me closer grabbing my face in his hands and desperately kissed me like I was the oxygen he needed to breath. My hands instantly went behind his neck and pulled him closer to me, and I hopelessly kissed him back.
Neither one of us wanted to let go, but when we did he kept his forehead resting on mine looking in my eyes.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He begged.
“Logan, I know it’s ok.” I tried reassuring him.
“No, it’s not, I’m weak Alicia. I should have let you go, I should have kept you from all of this, but you kept persisting and I can’t keep myself from you anymore.”
“Logan, what are you talking about, keep me from what? You have to tell me the truth?”
He closed his eyes, then eventually opened them back up again. The lights suddenly went on to the front foyer and Logan’s eyes bugged out. “Come on. Come with me.”
We took my parent’s car to a little house down the road and Logan brought out a key and let himself in. I looked around and it was a quaint little place, with a relaxed homey look. It had two bedrooms and Logan took me to the furthest one down the hall.
“Logan, whose place is this?” I asked since he seemed to have a good idea as to where everything was, and he had a key.
“It’s Maryanne’s place, she lived with me in my house when I was younger right after my mom died, but when I got older and could take care of myself, she got this little house not far from where I lived.” Logan responded while grabbing a couple of towels from the closet and began drying my hair.
“Are you staying here?” It seemed like the only logical explanation for why he wasn’t at home, and why he had a key.
“For now, yes.” He simply responded.
I could tell all of this was going to be very hard for him to talk about. I took the towel away from him and brought his eyes to meet mine.
“This is what’s going to happen.” I began to get his attention. “We are going to change out of these wet clothes and get dry. You are going to make me a cup of hot cocoa that most surely is in Maryanne’s cupboard. Then you are going to talk. You know I love you, and you know you can trust me to be there for you so lets not drag this out any longer.”
He was completely at a loss for words, he just stood there staring not responding.
“Logan, do you understand?” I asked wanting confirmation.
He looked down and nodded his head yes.
“Good, now how about that cocoa.” I winked.