I’m awoke to Anthony taking Amelia off me and moving her to the cot, I take a look outside to see it was now pitch black, we’d been asleep for a few hours. I turn back around to fall back to sleep, but Anthony jumps beside me my eyes opening immediately.
“It took awhile and a lot of tears, but John is safely at home” he smiles, looking over at me with his arms crossed, I just nod closing my eyes once more but he nudges my side “now it’s time to hold up your end of the deal” he says with a pointed look, I mean I did tell him I would and he actually did stick to his word for once.
I nod sitting up in bed rubbing my eyes, now I didn’t know if I wanted to go into full detail. But I didn’t know how I could change the story without going into full detail, I didn’t realise I hadn’t spoke until he nudged me again.
“So tell me, why did you stick up for John after he held a gun to your head?” He asks starting the conversation, as it didn’t look like I was about to.
“I know what it feels like to lose someone so close to you, I also know what grief does to people, it makes them do things that they never would” I start, looking down remembering everything.
“What do you mean doll?” He asks, placing his hand on my leg, probably to act as some comfort but it did the opposite really, I sigh knowing I’m just gonna have to tell him the whole story.
“Both my parents died in a car accident when I was ten years old, the things that John was doing there were similar to what people in my family did after”I explain, refusing to look at his face as I spoke “now time has passed and the wound isn’t so fresh, they would never dream about doing the stuff they did, but at the time they felt like it didn’t matter anymore” I sigh, looking down at my lap tears wanting to escape my eyes, I manage to hold them off as Anthony takes my hand.
“I’m so sorry doll, that must have been so hard to go through especially at a young age” he smiles actually being nice, I look up sending him a half smile.
“Have you ever dealt with lose like that?” I ask him this time, I mean his mother did pass but that was due to him, he stares ahead for a second eventually nodding.
“A few close people yes, but I never did anything like that” he says, pointing to the door where John was standing hours prior, I had to hold back the laugh that wanted to escape my lips.
“People deal with grief in different ways, just because you were able to handle it that way, doesn’t mean other people can do the same” I say, copying what my old childhood therapist would say to me, because I was so young when this tragedy took place, my uncle thought it would be best if I spoke to someone.
“How did you ever get this smart?” He asks looking over at mw with a smile, I just shrug my shoulders also smiling looking ahead “I’ve never told you about my father have i?” He asks, looking back at me once again, he’s told me about his mother many times, but never about his dad.
“My father was a great man, the total opposite to my mother, where my mother would totally blank my existence he could and sometimes would, speak to me for hours” he smiles remembering his dad, it was nice to see this side of him, we definitely don’t see it much “well a few years after my mother kicked me out the house, she kicked him out too, they had a falling out and my father said some horrible things to her, so she throws him out” he says, I could tell he was starting to get angry just thinking about what happened, my hand was still in his so I decide to give it a little squeeze to see if that helps him calm down, he sends me a smile, composing himself before continuing.
“She took everything he had, his money, his kids everything. My father ended up homeless and to cope with it all he started to take drugs, one night he took too much and overdosed accidentally killing himself” he explains, looking down it his hands as he spoke “I only found out about it all after it all happened, my sister phoned me and explained that our mother kicked him out and what happened to him after. I felt so bad for years after, I could have helped him! I was doing well for myself he could have stayed with me and than he wouldn’t have overdosed!” He starts to get angry again, but it felt like it was at himself.
“You can’t blame yourself for what happened, like you said no one told you what happened until after, how were you meant to know what was happening” I say, placing my hand on his shoulder as I spoke, he looks over at me sending me a little smile but soon looks back down “I bet your dad is so proud of you, especially that you’ve achieved all this on your own” I continue, just wanting him to feel better, I hate seeing people upset.
“Thanks doll, it looks like we’ve both gone through some hard times in our lives” he smiles, looking back at me.
I just nod staring ahead, oh boy you don’t know the half of it.
Hey guys, so yeah both my parents died in a car accident, I don’t speak about it much though, I don’t like opening wounds that took a while to heal. I do often think about the last time I saw them though, it was just before they set out to go on their little work trip. Wanna see?