Clara
Reaching home, father throws me in my room and locks the door. I cry and hit the door until I lose the energy and let the tears fall uncontrolled. I know my father has been standing there on the other side of the door listening to me hit it like a mad woman. He has heard me cry but he hasn’t open the door to let me out.
He knows that when he opens it, I won’t hesitate to run through and go to Damien. What does he not understand about me not being able to live without Damien?
Damien is my mate and we are meant to be together no matter what he does or how much he tries to separate us. Even if he forces me to reject him when my heart still belongs to him, he will just be writing on water.
He should just let us be. He should let down his eagle and forget the past. What happened happened and there is nothing he can do to change the past. In any case, hd is the one who began the enmity. If he wasn’t so arrogant and ruthless, non of this would have happened.
Everything would be the way it is supposed to be. I would be free to be Damien and father wouldn’t interfere between us. He would just let us be together. This is all his fault. Everything that is happening is all his fault! He has ruined my life because of his evil past.
“Clara, if you really love that Vampire so much, you should just let him go. Reject him. That will be the best solution for everything. It will be for the good of everyone,” dad says from the other side of the door. Hot tears start running down my cheeks afresh. Why does he keep adding salt into the wound?
“I am not going to reject him, dad. I love him. It won’t work,” I tell him.
“It is just the mate bond that is making you think that. Just put it on your heart and say you don’t want him otherwise if you remain notorious, you will be hurting yourself and everyone around you,” he says.
I burry my head into my knees and hug them. I can’t let him get into my head. I needed to stay strong. I am not going to Reject Damien. I need him. I can’t chase him out of my life. He is everything I need. He is my future.
I don’t see my future with someone else. It is only with him. He is everything I ever wanted in a mate. Why can’t father understand what I want? He is just blinded by hatred and he is going to end up ruining my own happiness.
I hear his footsteps as he walks away from the door. He had been there the whole time since we reached here. He says that this is for my own good but he is lying. My happiness lies in being with Damien. He had a mate once. Why can’t he understand what I am going through?
I am starting to doubt if he ever really loved my mom. Well, she wasn’t the daughter of his enemy. Father and grandfather were so close and they still are. I even wonder if he really ever loved someone so much.
It was with no doubt that father treated mother so formally. Like husband and wife, they were in front of us the kids. Maybe it was just the mate bond that kept them together and made him care for her, otherwise I don’t think father had such strong feelings for her.
Why am I judging my pare relationship now? All this torture is making me think too much, even the unnecessary.
I look at the window. I don’t feel like I even have the energy to walk to the window from my bed where I am sitting in total depression. I have never felt so depressed and miserable in my life. Even when I was kidnapped by Lazarus, I had a strong belief that Damien was going to come for me and we would be together again.
He was going to come for me and everything was going to be fine, but now, the case is different. I don’t know whether Damien is going to come and get me. I don’t even know if I really want him to come.
If my father gets to find out that he even set a foot near me, I don’t know what worse he would do. I don’t want anything bad to happen to Damien and his family.
They are such nice individuals and I don’t want to suffer the wrath of my father or go through any danger because of me. Damien would rather stay there with his family.
It would be better if he doesn’t come for me at all. I know I will be very miserable and heartbroken but my heart will be at peace knowing that no one is suffering because of me.
If I could turn back time to the good old days before I met Damien, I could feel at home here. I could live carefree and snuggle in my bed with a book or watch a movie but now everything has changed. Since Damien entered my life, everything changed.
Right now, if I was given a chance to change my fate, would I wipe Damien out of my life and wish that I had never met him?
When I come to think about it, I wouldn’t change a single thing. I would do this over and over again and fall in love with Damien through the thick and thin we have been through but I would never wish for him to be out of my life.
That is why I can’t even reject him. He means so much to me and everything we have been through has given my life a new meaning. I can’t see my life with any body else. Even the moon goddess knows that. That is why he brought him into my life. There must be a very solid good reason why she made Damien my mate, despite the fact that he is my father’s enemy.
There were other great Alphas and Betas of great packs, who my father would have happily let me be with but she chose Damien. Maybe she put me as a bridge to seal the enmity between the two most important men in my life. But how can I do that.
I disentangle myself and get up from the bed, I slowly walk to the window and open it. I can escape if I want to. I can jump through this window though it will be difficult to land down there. I can then transform into my wolf and run into the woods.
I could run to Damien’s house and fall into his embrace. He could comfort me and tell me how much he loves me and how everything is going to be fine. We could cuddle through out the night and make love…
He had even promised me an interesting night tonight. Now I am left with this beautiful dress and my new panties. This is so sad. I knew this moment would come but I never expected it to hurt this much.
I can’t even escape. It would be hopeless if I just went to Damien’s house and brought him trouble. He is better off with out me. I am just a burden to him and his family. I will only carry fear with me to his house.
I think I have cried enough tonight. I am feeling a headache because of all that crying and I think I don’t have any tears left. I just stare out as the wind blows gently making the tops of the trees sway to and fro as if waving byebye to my happiness.
I wish the wind could just take me with it wherever it is going. I would be better off roaming around the earth other than being restrained here drowning in my own thoughts. Maybe it could end up blowing me into Damien’s room.
Oh, god! I wish I was the wind itself with no one to pull me back from going where I want and being where I want to be. Then I could find my happiness.
After staring hopelessly out of the window until my eyes start to ache, I close the window and face my reality. I don’t even feel hungry.
The food that I ate at Damien’s house is still able to support me through the night. It’s not like I have a great appetite right now anyway. I wouldn’t like to go down stairs and eat dinner with everyone. I don’t feel like being around my family or anyone else at this moment. I just want to be alone.
I drag my feet to my wardrobe and remove the dress. I fold it slowly and then stare at the beautiful colours on the fabric. I can imagine the look on Damien’s face as he picked up the dress and paid for it. He must have been thinking about how happy I would be when he gave it to me with the sexy surprise hidden within.
Oh, god! I don’t think my mind is going to stop thinking about Damien. He has become a part of me and he stole my heart and mind too.
I look through my clothes for what to wear as I go to bed. My night shirt is where it always is, but I don’t feel like putting it on. There is something smelling sweet in this wardrobe. It has captured all my senses. It smells like my man. I tickle through my clothes, not caring if I needs them up but as long as I find it.
There it is! His shirt. I convinced him to live it behind that night when he sneaked into the house on my brother’s party. I remember how he made sweet love to me that night even though guests were still downstairs.
I wonder if I will ever have another moment like that. All my hopes and dreams of having a happy relationship with Damien seem shuttered now. I don’t think I will ever feel his touch, his kisses, all those things that I have always looked forward to every day.
I bury my nose in his shirt and inhale his mouthwatering scent. Hmmm… It makes my body relax. I throw it on and cuddle in my bed. Maybe his scent being around me will make me feel as if he is here with me, but it is no match to his strong hands around me which make me feel very secure and protected.
Tears start welling afresh in my eyes. I wrap my hands around myself and state through the window until the tears blur my vision. I end up crying myself to sleep.