What happens now? That is the big question. Does she rise from this and become stronger, or does this crush her, and she loses herself. That is something I can’t control, I could control saving her body, but I have no control over saving her mind. All I can do now is wait until she is ready to speak.
And I wish she did not have to see me kill him. You can think you are strong for shit like that, but you never are.
When we get home, I carry her up to the bed; she is sleeping; I place her on the bed and cover her with a blanket, I know she is going to kick it off, but I at least want her warm for a couple of minutes.
………………………….
Down in the kitchen…
Dominic ~ “What a damn crazy day.”
Joseph ~ “Fück I thought for a second we were going to lose both of them.”
Emma ~ “I am just glad we got that damn number.”
Dominic ~ “You did good, baby.”
Trayton ~ “If it was not for that stupid jar.”
Becca ~ “I told you it had a purpose.”
Emma ~ “Let me be the first to say. I am done damn stripping.”
Becca ~ “Me too. There are sick fücks out there.”
Trayton ~ “I am sure she will feel the same way.”
Emma ~ “But what the fück are we going to do then.”
Becca ~ “We can become the female version of Trayton here.”
Trayton ~ “You are fucking nuts. Now you want to get all of you killed.”
Becca ~ “I think it is a good idea.”
Joseph ~ “I don’t think that you should think.”
Becca ~ “And I think you should think carefully about being an ass to me.”
Trayton ~ “I am not fucking stupid. I know what the fuck is going on here.”
Joseph ~ “What are you talking about?”
I turn around looking for my mom.
Trayton ~ “It does not help to hide there behind the fridge. I think you have some explaining to do.”
Dominic ~ “Should we perhaps leave.”
Trayton ~ “Not the fuck. Your girlfriend also has a part in this.”
Dominic ~ “What the fuck are you talking about?”
Trayton ~ “Mom care to explain to Dominic. Or do you perhaps want to do it, Joseph.”
Joseph ~ “I don’t know what you are fucking talking about.”
Trayton ~ “Do not test my fucking patience.”
Mary ~ “Trayton, you have the wrong idea.”
Trayton ~ “Oh, please explain to me how I have the wrong idea.”
Dominic ~ “What the fuck am I missing here.”
Trayton ~ “Emma, why don’t you tell Dominic.”
Emma leans on over and whispers in Dominic’s ear
Dominic ~ “Oh fuck. This is not going to end well.”
Trayton ~ “As for you, Becca. Like I keep saying, you are nothing but trouble.”
Becca ~ “But Ava also knows.”
Trayton ~ “I know, and when she is better, we will talk about it. But there is nothing wrong with you fucks.”
Emma ~ “It was not my idea. It was Becca and mom.”
Becca ~ “Mom started it.”
Trayton ~ “And you fucking make it worse by organizing it.”
Becca ~ “How the fuck do you know anyway.”
Trayton ~ “Joseph does not shower in the morning. And he goes and gets his stupid ass phone while is it on the fucking counter.”
Becca ~ “You a real damn ass.”
Joseph ~ “It’s your fucking fault.”
Becca ~ “I did not say you have to do it.”
Trayton ~ “Shut the fuck up. I want to fucking know what happened.”
Joseph ~ “Mary, are you going to say something or should I.”
Mary ~ “You go for it. He is going to be pissed off at both of us either way.”
I want to rip this asshole’s face-off, but for Ava’s sake, I am going to remain calm.
Trayton ~ “Dominic, please take this.”
I hand my gun to Dominic.
Trayton ~ “Now fucking tell me what is happening here.”
Joseph ~ “It was an accident.”
Trayton ~ “I must be fucking stupid, but how is that a damn accident.”
Joseph ~ “Okay, it was not an accident. It happened that night your mom came to the club.”
Trayton ~ “Fuck I don’t know if I even want to hear this.”
Just then, I hear Ava come up from behind me.
Ava ~ “Sorry mom, but we all knew he was going to find out. And Joseph, if I were you, I would start running.”
Trayton ~ “Baby?”
Ava ~ “Joseph fucked your mom.”
Trayton ~ “FOR FUCK SAKES. YOU ARE FUCKING DEAD. Dominic give me my gun.”
Dominic ~ “Trayton just calm down.”
Trayton ~ “I AM FUCKING CALM. THE DAMN WHORE FUCKED MY MOM.”
Dominic ~ “Sorry to be the one to say this, but she fucked him back.”
Trayton ~ “MOM! I AM FUCKING DISAPPOINTED IN YOU.”
Joseph ~ “Trayton, we love each other.”
Trayton ~ “OH MY GOD. Ava did I just hear him right.”
Ava ~ “He said he loves your mom.”
Trayton ~ “What the fuck do you know about love.”
Joseph ~ “The same fucking way you did when you met Ava.”
Trayton ~ “Watch who you fucking talking to.”
PUNCH
Trayton ~ “You fucking asshole.”
Ava ~ “Baby, you knocked him out.”
Trayton ~ “He can be glad I did not fucking shoot him.”
Ava ~ “Baby lets go to bed.”
I take Ava’s hand, and we walk upstairs to my bedroom. It is good to see her up, but I can not sense how she is feeling.
Trayton ~ “Baby, can I run you a bath?”
Ava ~ “I will have a shower just now. I just want to talk.”
Trayton ~ “Are you feeling okay?”
Ava ~ “I am not going to lay, but I am scared.”
Trayton ~ “Scared of what?”
Ava ~ “That I am going to get mad.”
Trayton ~ “What do you mean?”
Ava ~ “That someday some other fuck will take me.”
Trayton ~ “That will never happen.”
Ava ~ “You not always there to protect me.”
Trayton ~ “Then I will teach you how to protect yourself.”
Ava ~ “You are going to show me how to shoot a gun.”
Trayton ~ “I was talking more like self-defense.”
Ava ~ “And what if someone wants to shoot me.”
Trayton ~ “You too cute nobody will want to shoot you.”
Ava ~ “And you are flirting to change the subject.”
Trayton ~ “I will think about that. And talking about thinking of things. Are you going to stay here now?”
Ava ~ “I have not really thought about it yet.”
Trayton ~ “Whenever you ready, baby.”
Ava ~ “I am going to have a quick shower.”
Her quick shower turns into and forty-five-minute one. I don’t know what to say to her; I am scared that watching me shoot a man is also part of the fear she is going through.
I believe that she will talk to me when she is ready, but I also don’t want her to take too long. I don’t know if I should talk to someone. I have no damn idea what to do.
She lays her head down on the pillow and pulls the blanket over her. I am shocked and so damn happy; maybe this is a good sign that she is going to be okay.
But I spoke too soon.
The entire night she is haunted by one bad dream after the other. Every time she screams or cries, I cry with her. I watch her the whole night; I feel completely helpless; I have no idea how to make this better.
The scariest of this all is that at times in these nightmares, she does not call out my name but she screams it.
…………………………
The next morning…
Trayton ~ “Hey you.”
Ava ~ “Hey you yourself.”
Trayton ~ “How are you feeling today?”
Ava ~ “Tired. Guess I did not sleep so well.”
Trayton ~ “I will go get you some coffee.”
Ava ~ “Thanks, baby.”
I make my way downstairs, where I only find Dominic in the kitchen.
Trayton ~ “Where is everyone?”
Dominic ~ “Emma is still sleeping. And the other three are hiding away from you.”
Trayton ~ “They fucking better be.”
Dominic ~ “How is Ava?”
Trayton ~ “I don’t know. She is smiling and making jokes, but she had some badass nightmares last night.”
Dominic ~ “Fuck man. What are you going to do?”
Trayton ~ “I want to give her some space then I will talk to her about it.”
Dominic ~ “I am here if you need help.”
Trayton ~ “Thanks. Which reminds me. Thanks for the something special, but what the fuck were you thinking?”
Dominic ~ “You know exactly what I was thinking. I think you are ready for it. You guys have been through a lot of shit. I think you must think about it.”
Trayton ~ “It has never crossed my mind, even. It is scary-ass shit.”
Then there is the most awful blood-curdling scream coming from upstairs
Trayton ~ “Ava!”
We rush our way to my room, but Ava is not on the bed; I can hear her, but I cannot see her, she is not on the sides of the bed, she is not in the bathroom either, then out of the corner of my eye I see her sitting in a corner with her hands curled up into her hair.
Dominic ~ “Go get her. But we need to talk.”
I slowly walk up to her and reach out my hand.
Trayton ~ “Baby, it is me. You are safe now.”
She takes my hand and presses her face deep into my chest as she cries, and I cry with her
Trayton ~ “Baby, I love you. No one will ever hurt you again.”
She lays her head down on the pillow again, but this time she leaves the blanket off.
I wait until she is deep in sleep before I make my downstairs to speak to Dominic.
Dominic ~ “Trayton, I am so sorry about all this shit with Joseph and Emma being full of shit. I completely forgot to tell you.”
Trayton ~ “Tell me what?”
Dominic ~ “What Jackson said.”
Trayton ~ “What the fuck did he say?”
Dominic ~ “The way he found her.”
Trayton ~ “How the fuck did he find her?”
Dominic ~ “She was locked up in a cage”
Trayton ~ “A fucking cage!”
Dominic ~ “Yes. But there is more. She was naked.”
Trayton ~ “She was what!”
Dominic ~ “She was lying naked on the cage floor.”
Trayton ~ “No mattress?”
Dominic ~ “No.”
Trayton ~ “Blanket?”
Dominic ~ “No.”
Trayton ~ “A pillow?”
Dominic ~ “No.”
Trayton ~ “So you telling me she was naked on the floor in a fucking cage?”
Dominic ~ “Sorry man.”
Trayton ~ “Fuck Dominic.”
And that is me; I burst out crying, Dominic wrapping his arm around my shoulder while I cry in fucking agony for what my baby had to go through
I should have gone in the basement, not Jackson. I should have saved her and pull her out of that hell
…………………………
The next few days are horrific. As soon as I leave the room, she starts screaming. It makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up; the screams are like they are not even human. I have lost count of how many times I should save her from her corner. Sometimes it is easy other times real damn hard
She has not eaten since we got her back, and I doubt that monster gave her any food either. All she does is sleep, partly because of the tablets the doctor gave and other parts
because she does not want to get out of bed
There are days that we talk like nothing of this has ever happened; those are the days I cherish the most, the days I can tell her I love her and she understands what I mean
…………………………
And this lasts for three weeks, three weeks of what I believe is to be expected, then it becomes worse
She stops taking her medication; she stops the little that she did eat, and she stops wanting to sleep at all. She is fading away; I am losing my baby
…………………………
Downstairs in the lounge
Mary ~ “Trayton, you need to get her help. You can’t do this on your own.”
Trayton ~ “I don’t want to leave her alone, mom.”
Mary ~ “You have to. She is not going to get better up there in that room.”
Trayton ~ “I don’t know what to do. I can’t lose her for seven years like I did you.”
Mary ~ “Rather lose her for seven years where she gets help than lose her in a month because she cannot take it anymore.”
Trayton ~ “Will you come with me?”
Mary ~ “Of course. I won’t let you do this alone. I will phone the doctor.”
I head back upstairs with a fucking broken heart.
I watch her as she is fast asleep and gently kiss her on the forehead.
Trayton ~ “I am sorry.”
I pull out one of her suitcases and start packing in some clothes and things that she is going to need, all while I am pissing my eyes out. This is by far the worst thing I ever had to do.
Half an hour later, the doctor is standing at the foot of the bed with something that will calm her and make her sleep.
Mary ~ “Trayton, it’s time to go.”
I lift her off the bed into my arms, downstairs to the car. I lay her on the back seat with her head on my lap. She is still fast asleep, and she will be for a couple of hours still.
The car pulls off, and I start to cry; the next time she wakes up, it won’t be in my bed but the institute’s bed
Trayton ~ “Mom, I don’t know if I am going to make it without her.”
Mary ~ “Trayton the both of you are going to be fine.”
Mary ~ “The sooner she gets help, the quicker she will get better.”
Mary ~ “And you are just going to be down the road.”
Trayton ~ “Mom, are you not scared going back home.”
Mary ~ “If it helps Ava, then I will happily do it.”
After what seemed like too many hours, we finally get to the institute my mom was in; it is not a mental institute; it is just a place where you go to get better
Mom signs all the papers while I sit with Ava, still sleeping on my lap, she is going to wake up soon, and she is not going to understand; she is even going to be very cross
The nurse shows us to her room; I put her down on the bed with her head on the pillow and the blanket halfway up her legs
Now I wait until she wakes up.