A week now and I have not heard from her, not a call, not a message; she has even stopped coming to the club at night when she is not working, so has Emma and Becca as well.
In my honest opinion, she did not give me the time to explain, nor did she consider that she is perhaps just a little overreacting. The truth is that if she chooses to stay with me, she must accept it; I did hers so she can mine.
I do not intend to stop what I do; I am damn good at it, and as sick as it sounds, my job is very rewarding. I say don’t jump to conclusions if you don’t know the story.
Dominic ~ “Fuck do you think we are ever going to hear from them again?”
Trayton ~ “The way it’s looking, I think not.”
Joseph ~ “Have you tried to contact her?”
Trayton ~ “I am trying to give her some space. But if I do anymore, I am going to fall off the fucking earth.”
Dominic ~ “Fuck I have not even tried Emma either.”
Trayton ~ “Maybe we should try. What’s the worst that can happen?”
Joseph ~ “They ignore us another week.”
Trayton ~ “You just had to say it didn’t you.”
Joseph ~ “Just stating the obvious.”
Trayton ~ “Stop stating the obvious and message, Becca.”
Dominic and I watch as Joseph messages Becca.
Trayton ~ “What did you say?”
Joseph ~ “Want to fuck.”
Trayton ~ “You joking?”
Joseph ~ “No, I am not.”
Trayton ~’ “Are you fucking crazy?”
Joseph ~ “She won’t say a word if I say hello. At least this way, she can be rude back.”
Trayton ~ “Your idea of a relationship is really fucked up.”
Dominic ~ “And look at yours.”
Joseph ~ “You landed us all without pussy.”
Trayton ~ “Just shut the fuck up. Has she answered?”
Joseph ~ “No nothing.”
Trayton ~ “Dominic, you try Emma.”
Joseph and I watch as Dominic messages Emma.
Trayton ~ “What did you say?”
Dominic ~ “Asked if she wants to hook up”
Trayton ~ “See that is way better than do you want to fuck.”
Joseph ~ “And what are you going to say? Let’s go for breakfast so I can tell you I whack people for a living.”
Trayton ~ “Shut the fuck up before I whack you.”
Dominic ~ “Emma has not answered either.”
Trayton ~ “Must I try Ava?”
Joseph ~ “That’s a dumb question.”
Trayton ~ “You are testing my patience.”
Dominic ~ “Just fucking message her.”
I have no idea what to say to a woman that clearly does not want to speak to me.
Trayton ~ “Maybe we should try lunch since breakfast did not work out?”
Dominic ~ “What did you say?”
Trayton ~ “We must do lunch.”
Joseph ~ “Oh fuck, what else do you want to shock her with.”
I wait for her to respond.
Waiting.
Waiting.
Nothing.
No response.
………………………
At the girl’s apartment…
Becca ~ “Have any of you received a message from the guys.”
Emma ~ “Yes, I just did.”
Ava ~ “So did I.”
Becca ~ “All at the same time?”
Ava ~ “Mine was right after hers. And you?”
Becca ~ “Also, just now.”
Ava ~ “Fuck are they sitting in a circle and play a game of message a girl.”
Emma ~ “You can be such a bitch sometimes. I don’t know why I can’t speak to Dominic when I don’t care what he does.”
Becca ~ “I don’t care either. There are way worse things you can do for a living.”
Ava ~ “Then message them. Just don’t expect me to message Trayton.”
Emma ~ “You fucking a good thing up.”
Becca ~ “One day he is not going to want to come back again.”
…………………………
Back with Trayton…
We are still standing like a bunch of idiots waiting for the girls to respond.
Dominic ~ “I just got a reply.”
Trayton ~ “What did she say?”
Dominic ~ “She said she will come to the club tonight.”
Joseph ~ “Becca also replied. She will also come to the club tonight.”
Dominic ~ “Have you heard from Ava?”
Trayton ~ “No nothing. Did they say if she is coming with?”
Dominic ~ “Sorry Trayton.”
Joseph ~ “Sorry man.”
Trayton ~ “Maybe she will still respond.”
I wait for the better part of the day, but still nothing. All that I am hoping for now is that she will show up tonight.
……………………….
At the girl’s apartment…
Emma ~ “Are you coming, Ava?”
Ava ~ “No, I am staying at home.”
Becca ~ “Ava, stop being full of shit.”
Ava ~ “No, I am staying at home.”
Emma ~ “Suit yourself.”
Becca ~ “Don’t fucking cry by me when he dumps you for good.”
Emma ~ “You seem to forget who he is.”
Becca ~ “Trayton DeCarlo does not need to chase women”
Emma ~ “If you keep this up, then he will stop chasing you and find someone that really wants to chase him.”
…………………………
At the club with Trayton…
I am nervous; I am hoping that I am going to see her, but a part of me tells me I probably won’t, but a man can still hope.
Trayton ~ “Dominic send Emma a message and ask if Ava like flowers and that kind of shit.”
Dominic ~ “Sorry can you repeat that.”
Joseph ~ “Did I just hear the word flowers coming out your fucking mouth?”
Trayton ~ “Just shut the fuck up and do it. Then get one of the girls at the bar to go get it.”
Dominic ~ “It’s more romantic when you buy it yourself.”
Trayton ~ “I don’t give a shit how it gets here; just get it.”
Fuck how the hell do I even give it to her? I think I am going to die a slow, painful death inside. I hope it is damn roses; then my red cheeks would not stand out so much. My face has been through more smiles and smirks and red cheeks to last me a lifetime, but then they say that it is what love is about, all the pure moments your body reacts to happiness.
Dominic ~ “Here they are.”
Trayton ~ “Is Ava with them?”
Joseph ~ “I don’t see her yet.”
I watch as Emma and Becca come upstairs; I don’t see Ava. Maybe she has just gone to the ladies, or she is still outside.
Emma ~ “Hey Trayton.”
Trayton ~ “Hey Emma, Becca.”
Becca ~ “I am sorry, Trayton. She did not want to come.”
Trayton ~ “It’s okay.”
I am lying; it’s not fucking okay.
Trayton ~ “Please give her this.”
Emma ~ “Fuck they are beautiful.”
Becca ~ “This must have taken a lot out of you to do.”
Trayton ~ “You have no idea. If anybody looks for me, I will be in my office.”
Dominic ~ “Don’t you want a drink?”
Trayton ~ “No, not anymore.”
As I turn around, I can hear Emma speak to Becca.
Emma ~ “She is a fucking bitch.”
Becca ~ “She must fucking grow up.”
I just carry on walking to my office; I can’t help but slam the door behind me and lock it. I am both mad and disappointed at the same time. Then the unspeakable happens.
I cry.
I am hurting so much that I can’t help but burst into tears. This is the ultimate first for me; I am feeling pain, and god, I have never felt such a pain consume my body.
I knew I was going to get hurt, and I just did. How can you love someone and then feel this pain at the same time.
Like an idiot, I wait and hope she will still come, but she never does.
…………………………
The next morning at the girl’s apartment…
Emma ~ “Ava.”
Ava ~ “Yes?”
Becca ~ “Those flowers are from Trayton.”
Ava ~ “Oh.”
Emma ~ “Oh? Is that all you are fucking going to say?”
Becca ~ “He went out of his way and bought you flowers. Men like them don’t buy flowers. And all you can fucking say is oh.”
Ava ~ “What do you want me to say?”
Emma ~ “Start by picking up the damn phone and say thank you.”
Becca ~ “You should have seen his face when I told him you are not coming.”
Emma ~ “You are breaking that man, and you are going to lose him.”
Ava ~ “And what does he do to other people.”
Emma ~ “It’s none of your fucking business what he chooses to do.”
Becca ~ “Either you tell him it’s over or stop your fucking shit. You are acting like a child.”
Ava ~ “Fuck you, I am not a child.”
Emma ~ “The typical way for a child to respond?”
Ava ~ “Fuck is it gang up on Ava day?”
Emma ~ “No, it’s fucking wake-up.”
Becca ~ “You always bitch and moan that you can’t find a decent guy.”
Emma ~ “Now you fucking this one up.”
Ava ~ “You don’t understand.”
Emma ~ “I do.”
Becca ~ “You a damn bitch.”
Emma ~ “Grow up.”
Ava ~ “I can’t deal with what he does.”
Emma ~ “Then stop stringing him along.”
Becca ~ “His a person. Not a fucking toy.”
………………………….
Back at Trayton…
I feel like shit; I did not sleep, I cried some more and then some more; I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me. This feeling is so consuming; I can barely just function. Why does she do this? It seems like it is something she often does, or is it is just because it is me.
I don’t want Dom and Jo to see me like this, but I need to tell them what to do for me today.
Dominic ~ “Fuck man, you look awful”
Trayton ~ “Please don’t start.”
Joseph ~ “We worried Trayton. You were in your office the whole night.”
Dominic ~ “And you slept in very late.”
Trayton ~ “And I am going to do even more.”
Dominic ~ “I don’t get you?”
Trayton ~ “I am not going anywhere today.”
Dominic ~ “Fuck man, you can’t live like this.”
Joseph ~ “Tray, if it is not working out, then call it quits. The girl clearly has issues.”
Dominic ~ “She keeps on breaking it off when things get too hot for her to handle. You guys are good together.”
Joseph ~ “But look what she is doing to you. It looks like you have been crying all night.”
Trayton ~ “I did. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me. She really hurt me bad. She did not even said thank you for the flowers.”
Joseph ~ “I don’t like seeing you like this. She is destroying you inside.”
Dominic ~ “If this shit does not stop, it will only get worse.”
Trayton ~ “What the fuck do I do?”
Dominic ~ “Speak to her.”
Trayton ~ “And get more hurt when she does not answer.”
Dominic ~ “Don’t do this to yourself.”
Joseph ~ “Is this girl really worth it.”
Trayton ~ “I love her.”
Dominic ~ “What the fuck did you just say?”
Trayton ~ “I love her.”
Joseph ~ “Fuck man, you are screwed.”
Trayton ~ “Thanks for reminding me.”
Dominic ~ “Does she know?”
Trayton ~ “I was going to tell her, but then this shit happened.”
Joseph ~ “Then tell her now.”
Trayton ~ “And let her feel sorry for me. She will probably think I am saying it just to get her back.”
Dominic ~ “That’s true.”
Trayton ~ “Promise me you won’t say anything to the girls.”
Joseph ~ “I promise man.”
Dominic ~ “My lips are sealed.”
Trayton ~ “I don’t want to tell her anymore; she just fucked up the moment for me. I don’t care if she never knows that at one stage, I did love her.”
Dominic ~ “Fuck are you going to be okay?”
Trayton ~ “Yes, please just take care of business for me today. We got a new contract; please go see Bruce.”
Joseph ~ “Are you coming to the club tonight?”
Trayton ~ “No.”
Dominic ~ “The girls are coming. Maybe she will be there.”
Trayton ~ “I don’t want to see her. The less I have to see her; the less my chances are of getting hurt.”
With that, I grab a bottle of water and head back up to my room.
I said it now, the people who matter know I love her and give me enough time, then it will be I loved her. The more hurt I feel inside, the angrier I get; I should not have told her; at least we will still be together, but then I would have been a liar.
My mother always used to tell me that one day I would find love, that one day a woman will make a man out of this boy. The day it happens, the day that women steals my heart away and make me a better man, she makes me a broken man as well.
I know where I must go.
I get dressed and head downstairs.
Trayton ~ “Change of plans. I am going to be out today.”
Dominic ~ “Where are you going?”
Trayton ~ “I am going home.”
Joseph ~ “You sure you want to do that?”
Trayton ~ “It’s the only thing that is going to clear my head.”
Dominic ~ “I will check in with you later.”
I get into my car and start the drive back home. This is going to hurt even more than what Ava did to me.
…………………………
Back at the girl’s apartment…
Emma ~ “Ava.”
Ava ~ “What?”
Emma ~ “Dominic wants to speak to you.”
Ava ~ “I am not going to listen to some soppy story about Trayton.”
Emma ~ “You are really a bitch. He wants to know if you are coming to the club tonight.”
Ava ~ “No.”
Emma ~ “He asks if you are going to speak to Trayton any time soon.”
Ava ~ “I don’t intend to.”
Emma ~ “He says I must tell you that you fucked up.”
Ava ~ “What does he mean?”
Emma ~ “He said that as of half an hour ago, you had lost Trayton.”
Becca ~ “I told you, you stupid bitch.”
Ava ~ “Stop calling me a bitch.”
Becca ~ “It’s either that or whore.”
…………………………
With Trayton on the way home…
Funny enough, a player like me grew up in a little small town about a two-hour drive out of the city. I grew up with my father and mother and an older brother whom I don’t see since he landed his ass into prison. I dropped out of school in my senior year, and much to my mother’s disgust, I head for the city; that is where I met Jackson. He climbed his way to the top in his mafia world, and circumstances lead me into what I do today. Since the incident, I have not been home until today.
To think a broken heart is taking me back home, a place I never thought I would go back again, I am not prepared for this; the chances are that it is going to hurt. I think it is long overdue; maybe I will find out who I am and why I have become it.