Ridian’s POV
Samantha was laughing hard, Kane was arguing with his beta and there were two women running their hands all over my body. I downed the drink in hand and reached out for another from the server standing right next to me. There was music and a lot of noise in the background. There were lots of drunk people, stumbling about all over the big hall and making a mess everywhere. It was a very messy party, and I did not like messy parties. I preferred my parties classy unlike my friend Kane who was more drawn to irresponsibility and recklessness.
The party had been going on for two days and I was getting tired of it. I was getting tired of the same old routine, meant to make me feel whole and yet it never did. I wanted it to help me feel normal but it never worked. The sadness would disappear for a while, but it always returned when all the mind-numbing activities ended. At the end of the day, it would be me, and myself, all alone.
Kane and his beta finally stopped arguing over the top of the voices and the noise reduced. I realised the music and the chatter wasn’t as bothersome. The two males with all their heightened testosterone had created irritating noise.
“Stop touching me,” I said to the girls who had failed to get the hint that I was not interested in everything they were doing. I leaned back on the sofa and closed my eyes. I found myself thinking of more peaceful, happier times. Amidst all this, an image popped into my mind, forcing me to snap out of it. I refused to believe that my happiness would forever be tied to that woman.
Opening my ears, I saw Kane standing. I groaned inwardly when I saw him heading my way.
“Go on, girls.” He said to the women who had been seated with me. He sat on my left side.
“Hey man, you’re not enjoying the par-tay. What’s going on?”
“I’m just out of it.”
“Are you thinking of her again? Man, just forget about that woman. Console yourself. Eventually, she was going to leave anyway. It’s good she found her mate and made the choice before you two got married. There’s no need to dwell on the past. The future is bright. Maybe you will find your mate soon as well.”
I nodded. I had not told Kane about Cilla because I didn’t trust him when he got drunk. He could spill all the secrets he knew. He was a great friend, but when he got drunk all that seemed to get thrown through the window. When he was drunk, he would find anyone willing to listen to him and spill every secret he knew.
Sometimes, I suspected he knew what he was doing but he had always denied that. He claimed he was never in his right mind while drunk. Because of this, all of us who were close to him always tried not to let him in on any secrets we didn’t want other people to know. You’d have to be real desperate to confide in Kane. I was not yet that desperate.
“There are so many pretty women here. Just take one and have a good time. You have already shown your face at the party, you don’t need to stay till the end because you’re not feeling well. Take all the time you need, buddy.”
“Not really in the mood to bang random women.”
Kane grinned. “Then you’re in luck. Samantha Buck is here. You and I both how sexy you’ve always found her. You always claimed she always made you feel better.”
“That was before jane. Things are different now.”
“Exactly. Jane is gone, and you have to move on. Samantha is perfect for the job. She will help you move on, and will be more than willing to get used.”
“You’re right, I guess.” I said.
“Hey, Sam.” Kane called out. Samantha who had been standing by the bar started walking towards us. “My boy here is not in party mood. Will you put him to sleep?”
Samantha flipped her hair. “Gladly.”
I stood up and linked my hand with Samantha’s and led her out of there.
“Why did you put up with it?” Samantha asked.
“You have been looking like you didn’t want to party since you got into that hall this evening. Why stay when you’re just going to give gloomy stares to everyone?”
“I don’t know. I guess I didn’t want to be alone. I don’t want to face the reality, that I’m all alone now. There’s no Jane to put me out of my misery.”
Samantha sighed. “Sorry. Now I understand that you really loved her. I never thought you were capable of falling in love. I guess I was wrong.”
“You were. What did you think? That I was a f*ckboy with no heart?”
“Exactly.”
“Oh well, I might be going back to that.”
“Please don’t.”
By now, we had reached the door to my room. I opened the door and Samantha followed me in. closing it, I went to sit on the bed. She came and sat next to me. The smell of alcohol from her was strong. It had never been a turn off for me but it was on that day.
“Well, I don’t want to, but I know I may not be able to stop myself. It’s my coping mechanism. Instead of finding a better coping mechanism, I used a human being who is now gone. That was a big mistake.”
Samantha nodded. “Anyway, enough talking. Let’s get down to business.”
Samantha undid the top buttons of my shirt and started dropping kisses all over my chest. I felt nothing but disgust. I lifted my right hand and pushed her head away. She sat up straight and frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“I just wanted to talk,” I said calmly. On the inside, I was fuming. She was treating me like a sex object, as if that was all I was good for. All she wanted was to have sex with me. She did not care. For the first time in my life, I understood what it meant to be treated like an object. I had never understood why women complained so much about it.
In that moment I did, and it made me angry.
I took a deep breath to keep myself calm. I couldn’t afford to lash out on Samantha because she knew a secret of mine.