I rubbed my head with my fingers and sat back as tears flowed down my cheeks. I knew what I said just now was hurtful, but I couldn’t help it. Vampire just told me that he never loved me, and that all those nights we spent together were just under the influence of alcohol.
So what about the words he spoke? What about the time we talked about how we could be a wonderful couple if we were to stay together?
I remembered a memory that was still fresh in my mind. This scene happened back after we had been at the beach. After spending the night filled with love and warmth, he kept his arms around my naked body while cupping my breasts, squeezing my nipples every now and then. After that, I felt reacting at his crotch and I jolted while hitting his hands. I glared at him angrily. “Are you a beast?!”
We had already done it twice back then, and it seemed as if this person didn’t want to stop. So he chuckled and put my earlobe in his mouth. “You’re sweet. I can’t help it.”
I glared at him before hiding myself in the blanket, not even letting him see even a little bit of my body. “I’m exhausted. Let’s sleep.”
“Come here.” He asked me to open his arms.
I blushed and scooted closer to him as we both embraced. I took a deep breath as his sweet scent drifted in my nose, filling up my lungs. “I love you.” I mumbled against his neck.
“I know. Me too.” Then he caressed my body with his hands before resting them at my waist.
“Why aren’t we married?”
I heard a sigh escaping from his lips, and he caressed my back. “I wish that too. It’d have been better if we had met each other before getting married. Perhaps I would have gotten a chance at pursuing you wholeheartedly.”
I blushed at those words and shifted closer to him, not saying anything else.
Back then, I was motivated to talk about divorce with my husband after this conversation with Vampire. But who would have thought that today, he would say that all of the words he spoke were just a lie and under the influence of alcohol?
I covered my face with my hand as I wailed loudly. Just why did it happen to me? How would I ever love anyone else? My heart that had throbbed for Vampire had shattered into so many pieces that it was impossible to be fixed.
It took me a lot of time before I could calm myself down, and when I did, it was already late at night. I glanced at the clock that pointed out that it was 11:30 pm, and then I remembered where I was!
This was my home, and my husband would come at 8 pm sharp before making the food. But now it was already 11:30 pm ever since I forced him to get out with harsh words.
When I remembered what I had just said to Lewis in anger, a trace of guilt flashed in my heart. I shouldn’t have said that to him in anger. I was simply venting on him, and I didn’t mean any of those words. I facepalmed myself. Even though I didn’t love my husband anymore, that didn’t mean I had the right to abuse him like this.
Did I hurt him too much with my words?
When I seriously thought about this, I couldn’t help but feel anxious in my heart. If I were in his position and someone had said that to me harshly, I would have also ran away from home. I would never even wish to see the person’s face again who abused me like this.
So now when I was the one who treated Lewis harshly, I felt my heart getting worried. I had already lost Vampire, now I didn’t want to lose Lewis too!
I picked up the phone and dialed his number as millions of negative thoughts entered my head. I imagined my husband going away forever and never returning home. The emotion of heartbreak that I had witnessed just a few hours ago resurfaced, but this time, I wasn’t anxious for Vampire anymore. The only thought that roamed in my mind was that I didn’t want to be alone anymore after Vampire left me.
I had just faced a terrible trauma and was in a vulnerable position right now. If I couldn’t get my husband’s association too, I would just end up dying.
I hastily dialed his number again when he didn’t pick up the second time. I bit my lower lips as tears threatened to fall out from my eyes. But no matter how many times I called him, he didn’t answer. At this time, I couldn’t help but feel my heart trembling. I already lost someone, whether it was due to my foolishness or his sudden change of heart, I was starting to feel lost.
But now, I didn’t want to lose someone else. I couldn’t help but want to go back in time and hit myself for saying those words. I bit my lower lips harder as I felt an iron taste in my mouth, but I couldn’t help it. Tears fell down my cheeks as I dialled twenty times tonight, but he still didn’t pick up.
Did Lewis also leave me?
Will everyone leave me after today?
Would I not get another shoulder to cry on after this heartbreak?
The phone left my hand and fell on the ground as I sat back on the couch with a hurtful expression on my face. I felt so broken that I couldn’t bear the pain in my heart. It almost felt like someone was crushing my chest with a big rock. I rubbed my chest to get rid of the pain, but it didn’t. I only felt as if my heart was getting pierced again and again until it died a brutal death.
And just like that, I spent the entire night crying myself to sleep while hugging my knees. In the morning, I woke up when my phone rang, making me jolt up. I instantly picked up the phone while fixing my hair that was all over my face.
I didn’t even remember when I slept last night and as soon as I woke up, I got someone’s call. I didn’t even see the name before picking it up as my heartbeat got faster. Was it Lewis? Would he tell me that we should get a divorce?
I didn’t want to let go of him, especially after losing Vampire. I wiped my face and said without waiting for the other person to speak, “Where are you? It’s morning already! Just where were you the whole night?! I was really worried! Did you-”
“Ma’am, what’s your relationship with the person owning this phone?”
An unknown man’s voice interrupted me, making me surprised. I had thought that it was someone else. So I glanced at the screen and was even more shocked. It was Lewis’s name written on the screen. A frown crossed my forehead. “Isn’t this my husband’s phone….?”
The man sighed and said, “Ma’am, your husband is in the hospital. There was an accident last night, and….”
After that, I couldn’t focus on what that person talked about. The words ‘my husband’ and ‘accident’ roamed in my mind like a snake eating my brain. I couldn’t stop thinking those words until a teardrop fell from my eyes.
Human behavior was strange. When they feel like they would lose something, they instantly get excited to achieve the same thing. My condition was the same. It wasn’t until I heard the words that my husband had an accident that I felt as if I had just faced a terrible trauma.
I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that Lewis could die any time, and it would be entirely my fault.