I groaned when I woke up early in the morning in Vampire’s arms. Thankfully, I wasn’t fully naked as last night, which I had forgotten due to obvious reasons. For a few seconds, I glanced around in confusion. And as soon as I remembered that I was naked the night before and how I enticed Vampire into doing it in different positions, I was frozen in panic.
What the hell did I do last night?! I really shouldn’t have drunk as much as I did! Now what?
It wasn’t like I had never jumped on the bed with Vampire before, but I had given up on that thought after I decided to become faithful to my husband and not have an affair anymore. But who would have thought that I would go so wild after drinking?!
I covered my face in shame.
I knew I was completely naked last night. So it must have been Vampire who got me dressed when I slept.
Just as I was thinking about it, I heard a hoarse voice, “So you do feel regretful.”
I turned around and saw a handsome face with his eyes still closed. I lowered my head and sighed. I ruined everything again. How could I face this guy now when we did so many shameful things last night? This drunken mistake was so much wilder than any nights we ever spent before! I had gone all out as if Vampire were to disappear the next day!
“I’m sorry.” An apology escaped my lips as I untangled myself from him. “I shouldn’t have drank so much.”
Even though I said that, I knew I truly wasn’t sorry. I didn’t regret spending my night with this guy. In fact, I secretly wanted this thing to happen last night. It was just that I felt a trace of guilt in my heart when I remembered my home. Lewis might still be waiting for me.
As soon as I thought of him, I felt my heart leap in my chest remembering that. I hadn’t even told him clearly about where I was going! I just came out thinking I would talk to Vampire for at most half an hour. Who would have thought that I would end up spending the night with him?!
The feeling of anxiety in my heart grew higher as I took out my phone with trembling hands. As soon as I unlocked my phone, my eyes widened upon seeing thirty missed calls from Lewis.
I was lost in thoughts when I heard Vampire’s voice. “Let’s just call it a night.”
I didn’t glance back at the person on the couch. I couldn’t. I knew that if I looked back, I would jump in his arms again without any intention of letting him go. With a heavy heart, I suppressed the emotion in my heart and stuffed the phone in my purse before walking steadily. I fixed my hair and kept my hand on the handle before gripping it tightly.
I could feel tears forming in my eyes as I stood there like a statue. I knew that this was perhaps the last time we would ever spend together. After this, I knew I didn’t have it in me to see him again and let him go just like that. So I took a few deep breaths to control the boiling emotions before opening my mouth. “Goodbye, Vampire.”
I didn’t hear what he said next but by the time I found myself on the empty street at 4 in the morning, I felt salty tears tracing down my cheeks. I didn’t bother to wipe my face as I sobbed silently.
Why?
Why did I have to fall in love with someone I couldn’t have?
It hurt more than anything! I almost felt like I was dying and someone was sucking life out of my body.
I didn’t want to live anymore, but when I thought about how my husband had hugged me to sleep that night and cried while saying he didn’t want to lose me, I pursed my lips. If I died, the first person to breakdown would be him.
So I kept walking home in the early morning thinking of how I should just keep my distance from Vampire from today onwards. I steeled my heart and determined that for my husband, I would have to give up on my desires and spend more time with him. Perhaps I would be able to fall for him again some day.
Just when I reached home and unlocked the door, I saw some scenes that would forever be ingrained in my heart.
I saw my husband laying back on the couch while staring at the ceiling blankly. A cigarette was dangling on the corner of his lips, but he didn’t make an effort to move it. It wasn’t even lit as he continued to sit like that blankly. Before him, there was an ashtray filled with cigarette ends and a lighter beside it. I could even see dark circles beneath his eyes, but he didn’t even blink. He just kept staring at that place as if he was hypnotized.
My heart ached after seeing his face, and I averted my eyes.
Perhaps I had disturbed his peace by moving. So he glanced toward me and stared at me for a long time. A flicker of emotion flashed in his eyes, but went away before I could even realize what he was feeling. Then, in a soft and weak voice, he said, “You came back?”
I swallowed the guilt in my heart and took off my shoes while keeping my head lowered. I didn’t want my husband to see my neck that was filled with Vampire’s marks. “I had a meeting….”
Lewis nodded with a blank gaze and kept staring at the ceiling as if he had given up on living his life. My heart twisted with pain in my chest upon seeing his expressions. But I couldn’t go toward him when I was smelling like Vampire. My husband would immediately realize where I was and what the heck I was doing with him!
Even though it was clear that I could have spent an entire night with Vampire doing things that shouldn’t be done, I still wanted to hide it from my husband for as long as I could. I didn’t want him to feel sad anymore, and I had already promised myself that it was the last night I would spend with that man.
So after that, I made up an excuse of being sweaty from the journey and dashed toward the shower. After I stripped off, I realized that the night was wild and Vampire had left so many marks on my body. I caressed every mark as I remembered that time clearly as a day.
A bitter smile formed on my lips. Will I ever forget Vampire ever?
With a depressed mood, I came out and saw that my husband was already on the bed. I went to his side after freshening up and laid beside him. After scooting closer, I hugged him tightly and spoke in a low voice, “They’re going to make a movie out of my book, and we would get $100, 000 out of it!”
Lewis’s eyes widened in surprise. For the first time tonight, I could see an awkward smile on his face.
“That’s good.”
I tried to smile, but the dimness in his eyes that flashed every time he looked at me made me feel anxious. Did he find out what I was doing with Vampire? I pursed my lips and lowered my head, not wanting to see my husband’s face anymore.
To be honest, I had expected this person to interrogate me, to scold me for staying outside, and to blame me for being an unfaithful wife. But Lewis did nothing like that. Instead, he pressed his lips in a thin line and hugged me to sleep. He pulled my head closer to his chest as his voice echoed against my ears. “You must be tired after your meeting. Go to sleep.”
I didn’t know why, my heart broke after hearing this sentence, especially when his voice had a hint of sadness hidden inside that Lewis tried very hard to suppress.