You know you have lost something when you let it go and it doesn’t come back.
Those were my exact feelings at the moment. I was trying to survive day six ‘being-away-from-Bryan’ and it was strenuous, pathetic and pure, unadulterated torture. And I was failing miserably. My ability to keep eat like a pregnant elephant had suddenly vanished and the only thing my stomach could bear was milk, ice cream and fruits. The water in my body had probably drained considering the number of tears that my eyes produced hourly. But then again a tear is 1% water and 99% feelings. In that case I should be devoid of feeling anything. Which was true too, I felt numb.
I had waited, holding a ray of hope that Bryan would at least try to talk to me after our conversation but all my hopes drowned themselves into an ocean of despondency; when he ignored me the very next day at school. I died inside. Slowly and painfully. For the first time I experienced what a heartbreak felt like, physical, emotional, mental pain. After that we both ignored each other like we were strangers.
Strangers with a myriad of memories.
“Joanna you need to eat something.” My mother scolded, her eyes narrowed at my sullen face as she placed a plate of sandwiches in front of me.
I pushed the plate away with a hand on my stomach. “Mom I am not hungry.”
“I will not see my only daughter get eaten by her own stupidity. Eat now or I will make you swallow it.” She threatened and pushed the plate in front of me. “I want that plate clear when I return.” She gave me a pointed look and walked out of the kitchen.
I glanced at the dustbin.
“And no throwing it anywhere else except your flat stomach.”
Dayum!
“Girl, you look awful.”
I scowled as Janice entered the kitchen. “You sound like Alicia now.”
“Eww I’d rather be compared to some hobo than her.”
I gave her an ‘are you serious’ look. She sighed. “Maybe not.”
“Are you going to eat that sandwich? Or can I?”
I rolled my eyes, passing her half. “I have to eat at least a bit. If I don’t mom will tear my ear drums and then make me eat them.” I said, taking a piece of the other half.
Her lips twisted at the visual. “Eww. Anyways so you are coming to the club right?” She asked, swallowing the sandwich in one bite and then proceeded to grab a pack of Oreos and opened it.
I blinked at the Oreos. “Mine.” I said possessively.
She rolled her eyes, licking the white cream. “You don’t eat it any which ways. They feel left out. Now answer me.”
I gave her a stink look. “No.”
“No you aren’t coming or no you won’t answer?”
“Janice, eat the biscuit too, stop licking the cream and keeping the biscuits back in the packet.” I admonished disapprovingly. She did this every single time and when I took a biscuit there would be no cream. Ugh!
She stuck out her tongue childishly. “I don’t like the biscuit, Logan can eat it.”
I wrinkled my nose in distaste. “You are banned from eating cream biscuits in my house.”
“So you are coming to the club?” She changed the subject, licking another biscuit.
I swear talking to this girl is like talking to a blank wall. A complete waste of time and energy.
“No I am not coming.” I answered, eating another bite of the sandwich.
“Why?”
I shrugged. “No mood.”
“Don’t be a wimp Joanna.” She chided. “You can’t continue this routine of yours- wake up, go to school, come home, eat, sleep. It’s like you are living in your own shell and trust me that’s bad and harmful. So we are going to this club and then staying at Alan’s farmhouse for the week as we have holidays. No more comments please. Let’s pack your bag.” She walked out, the packet of Oreos in her hand. “Oh and bring that sandwich too. If you are hungry, make another one and while you’re at it, make one for me too.”
I sent her a flat look. “No I am not hungry.”
She pouted. “Damn.”
I ignored her pout. “Are we even allowed inside these clubs?” I asked following her with my half-eaten sandwich.
“Logan’s cousin owns it. We are to enter from the staff door or something like that.” She answered indifferently. “Who cares as long as we can drool over hot guys!?”
I rolled my eyes, mentally agreeing with her as I sat Indian style on the bed, plate on my lap and ate sandwich. My eyes followed every movement of Janice. Walk to my closet, take out a top, look at it with disgust and promptly throw it on the floor.
“Why don’t you have sexy clothes?” She muttered, throwing the fifth top on the ground.
“They are probably at the back and you will be clearing this mess.” I stated frowning at my clothes tossed around.
I hate cleaning!
She turned to look at the fallen clothes and then shrugged, meaning the mess will be intact until I clear it.
“You can just dump them on the chair.”
I scowled at her. “What if I want to use the chair?”
She flipped her hair. “Then dump them on the bed.”
I realized it was better to keep quiet.
“Hah finally!” She removed a royal blue off shoulder top. “Why haven’t you ever worn this?”
“It’s new and I never got the occasion.”
“Well, wear this now.” She threw the top at me and I caught it just in time, preventing it from falling on the plate and getting sauce on the sleeve.
She then took out a full sleeve red V neck top and then skinny black jeans and some more random clothes. Walking to my shoe rack, she took out my Nike shoes and ankle socks and then two wedges.
“Why the shoes?”
“Just in case.” She replied. “Where’s your duffel bag?”
I pointed to the drawer at my right.
“All packed.” She sighed after sometime, seeming extremely happy with herself.
I stared at the bag filled up to the brim. “Thanks.” I might have to remove some stuff when I close the bag.
“I better go now. Be ready by 7.” She hugged quickly and then skipped out of the room.
I looked at the door she vanished through it and slowly shook my head, remind me why I’m best friends with her again?
Oh that’s right, because I’m crazy!
Noisy, dim, crowded, horny, stinky and creepy were my first thoughts of the club.
There were people grinding on each other at every corner. The dance floor was packed with people sharing sweat glands. Private rooms were filled with rich jerks and people paying to have sex. The bar stools were filled with men leering at the twerking women. Safe to say I was beyond uncomfortable and probably never coming back here again.
“Are we going to stand here all night?” I shouted over the electronic music. Some young guy stumbled on my right and spilt his drink on the floor. “No, my baby! Don’t run away from me.” He shouted staring at the flowing liquid. We looked at him and stepped back, I looked pleadingly at Logan.
“Let’s go to our table.” Logan shouted back, heading towards a corner table. Oh thank heavens, away from these sweaty and drunk people.
“Anything to drink?” He asked once we were all seated.
I shook my head immediately. Drunk in a horny club is the last thing I want now.
“Come on Joey. Enjoy.” Janice bumped her shoulder with mine. “Bring anything of your choice.” She told Logan.
“Not strong.” I added.
“Remember your bucket list? Slap 5 unknown people when drunk? We are going to complete that today.” Alan informed, grinning excitedly.
My eyes widened. I had completely forgotten about the bucket list. “Seriously?”
“Yup.” Brittany nodded.
I grinned. “Yes!” This was going to be fun, if only Ace was here too. No, don’t think about him and spoil your mood. He’s not worth it. He’s a fat headed, potato shaped monkey with the brains of a zombie.
A tray of eight glasses was placed on the table. I looked at them with anxiety.
“What is this?”
“Vodka and sprite.” Logan answered me.
“Too strong?”
“Depends how alcoholic tolerant you are.” He said, picking up a glass. “Drink.”
I took the glass just as Alan came with three bottles of water. “Drink plenty water, you don’t want a severe hangover.”
I nodded and tilted the glass to my mouth.
“Make me your Aphrodite, make me your one and only. But doooooooon’t make me your enemy, your enami, your animee.” I giggled as I sang totally off-tune to the music.
This is fun! Why hadn’t I got drunk before?
“Joanna, sit down at one place.” Janice scolded, pushing me back on the couch.
I pouted. “But I feel like dancing tonight! I’m gonna party like it’s my civil right! Wohooo!”
“Logan I told you not to give her more than four drinks, now you only handle her.” She pointed at me and the left me with Logan.
I grinned at Logan. “Logan Logie Loga Lego… Lego Lego… Let go… Let it go… Let’s go. Let’s dance Lego!” I nodded enthusiastically.
He rubbed his forehead tiredly, why was he tired? “Not now Joanna. Just sit here.”
I shook my head as I looked at the dance floor. Alan was showing off his Michael Jackson moves to some girl, Brittany was dancing with that Australian twin, what was his name again? Gaby? Gary? Gatsby? Yeah that’s right, Gatsby The Gambler. And Janice was dancing with someone familiar. I squinted my eyes to have a better look. Who was he? Channing Tatum? I snorted at my thought, like he would dance with her when I was there.
I turned back to Logan. “Lego, who’s that guy Jan’s dancing with?”
He looked up from the phone and froze. “Uh I don’t know.”
“I am drunk not stupid. Who is he?” I demanded, trying to stand straight on my jelly legs and look threatening.
“Sit down Joanna. You are too drunk.” He stood up. “I am going to get water for you, don’t you dare move from here. It’s not safe.” He pushed me on the couch, making me sit.
I simply nodded and the second he turned I stood up.
Unfortunately Logan knew me well and he turned again, narrowing his eye at me. “Sit.”
I scowled. He can’t order me like I’m his pet dog. “But Janice and Brittany are dancing.” I protested.
“They aren’t as drunk as you. Sit here.” He enunciated again and then vanished in the crowd.
“I feel so lonely.” I shouted to myself, slumping down on the couch. “Why can’t I have fun?”
“Hey girl, so you want to have fun?”
I looked up at the stranger. He looked in mid-twenties, copper hair, dark eyes and well-built. He was holding a drink in his hand as he smirked at me. His smirk was kind of creepy, the one that would make me slap him. I giggled at my thoughts. I had forgotten about my bucket list.
“Am I amusing you?” The stranger asked, bending closer to me. Apparently a drunk girl giggling was an open invitation.