Aqua Louis Pov
I ran out with eyes full of tears, he’s really hurt me. How could he? How could he lay his claims on me yet wanted nothing with me? Am I only for pleasure? A thing to satisfy his sexual urges, he’s angry I didn’t moan out his name yet he’s want nothing to do with me.
This has to stop, I need to do something. I can’t keep on letting him hurt my feelings. I wanted to go to my room, but then it’s going to be so suffocating staying in my room. I need fresh air. I need to breathe. I’m so tired of living I feel so helpless and frustrated, I held onto the railings for support as I now stood outside the balcony. I feel so alone, why can’t I be loved? Am I that bad….?
I feel so tired, I might break down any minute or moment from now, life feels so tiring, I can’t believe I left my pack to be in a hotter position, I thought things would be better…. how could my two mates not want me? For goodness sake I never begged to be an Omega, I never even wanted it in fact nobody prayed to be an omega no one at all.
My clothes are already soaked with tears, I scrunch down to the floor as I held my chest tighter, it feels like it’s about to explode I needed a comfort, I’ve seen people crying but they ends up getting consoled, I needed a warm shoulder, a loving listener why aren’t I getting one?, I have him my body….. my dignity was my biggest flex, it gave me light in darkness, or strengthens me but I didn’t think twice I gave him my all…. and yet I ended up as a slave, he took me forcefully yet I felt no hatred but deep affection and love for him. Just why?
How much I wanted to rewrite my destiny, how much I wanted to be like others, just how much I wanted to be loved and accepted as a daughter, a mate and a lover. I crawl to a corner in the balcony and say, looking out through the view, I hugged my legs to my chest, as I hiccup, I’m already tired of crying.
My tears have never solved any problems for me, they are just my ways of relieving my angers, I’ve always on my phone and that’s because of one thing, I might have rejected my family, but then…. I had this hope, maybe this tiny hope that just maybe a day my family or one of them…. would feel my absence though I don’t live with them but we live in the same pack then…. I thought one day they had called and miss me but no!!! I realize I was being too hopeful, and relying on those that never for once cared about my existence.
I know for a fact I can take a bullet for my family, but as well I know I can’t say the same for any of them. Rejected from childhood only an Omega, especially a weak Omega like me knows how it feels.
“We ain’t weak…” Scarlet whimpers in my head,
“Scar…. why can’t we be like others?….. I’m tired….” I cried out, Scar was also in pain as only her whimpers ls all I could hear in my head.
I was still in pain when I saw a reflection from the mirror. I looked closely and gasped….. it’s the Alpha, immediately I turned around to see him standing behind me in his glory. But when his deeds and action resurface in my mind, I forcefully looked away, knowing I’m just a piece of trash to him he wanted nothing to do with me, I staggered to stand up I was tired and had no strength, I knew I couldn’t continue to stay as his presence has wrecked my little peace of mind.
I walk gingerly holding onto the railings tightly to support myself, as I near him I could feel his pairs of blue eyes, almost piercing my soul…. but I know he’s the last thing I needed, I need to be far away from him, from his shadow and most if all from this pain, I made to walk pass him when he held onto my arms, making me halt on my step but dare not to look into his eyes, knowing I would only melt for him and yearn him “fucking mate bond” I groan.
“What?” I ask impatiently hoping he could just let me go
“I’m sorry…” He said making my head snap up to look at his face, but I was disappointed when his eyes held no love or compassion, I nodded my head and ask
“Sorry for what?”
” Nothing…. just feel like saying it”
“Hmmmm” I hummed, thinking about what he just said,
” From now on I’m opting out of the deal we have, I no longer want to be your sex slave and you can hold your teaching on making me strong, I’ve had enough” I said holding onto my head which is about to explode.
“You dare not opt out of the deal we made”
I smile as I look at his arrogant and possessive eyes and decide to ask the question that has been hunting me. Sometimes the probability of it happening gives me a rare hope and I keep on going, and now I think it’s time to voice it out.
“Why….. why… cant I opt out of the deal, not like we sign any legal contract or is there something else that you want?” I ask, as I watch him battle with himself, his inner demons. His veins popped out, as he balled his fist, thin lines set off his forehead.
“Don’t push me” He snarled
“What if I do…” I dare
“Aqua……!” He screamed
“Do you ever feel anything for me at all….?” I ask almost at the verge of tears, with a teary voice, seconds, minutes pass yet no answer
“Fucking tell me….!!”
“No….. no I don’t ” He finally dropped the most heart aching news
“Okay” I smiled with tears, I turned and walked away.