(Harry’s POV)
Am I for even real? I doubted myself for the first time in my life. Instead of convincing Roman to forget Anna and go after another hot chick, I went to make him unite with Anna. Instead of enjoying with girls, who had been dying to be with me, I’d been drinking my beer near the lake with a smile on my face. Smile? Oh yeah, why the hell am I smiling? Trust me, I too have no idea. Might be because my cousin succeeded in his love. A true love, in which I failed. And the reason for my failure was, it’s none other than Harry. Yep! Myself.
I, Harry Wilson, is really a douche and an idiot for being an idiot always. For not realizing what I want. For not understanding who I truly am. For not believing and expressing the feelings I really feel. For not accepting the fact I loved a girl. For not accepting the truth that I loved a stupid girl, who loved an idiot like me. For not accepting… I loved Stella and have been loving her. Yes, you saw it right. I loved her, I love her and I will love her always. But it’s so stupid of me to realize it lately. And it’s too late now.
To be frank, I didn’t know when I fell for her or when I started loving her. But the truth was, I’d been admiring her, adoring her, fancying her and whatever the shit it was, from the day I saw her. That was the another reason why I wanted her to be my girlfriend, but my stubborn side didn’t accept the fact that I was after a girl. There was a saying, ‘We realize a person’s value in our life only when they goes away’. It happened to me. When she went away from me and had been becoming close to Noah, I realized I can’t stay without talking to her, without teasing her, without laughing with her and without dancing with her. But you know me, The great Harry Wilson, didn’t want to accept the fact that easily, still tried to talk to her. But when I saw Noah kissing her, I was just few miles away from going to prison because of murdering Noah. Instead of that, in anger my stupid self, scared Stella, thinking she enjoyed his kiss. Later Roman told me, to whom Anna told, what exactly happened.
The night when I nearly snatched Stella’s dignity, Roman asked me the name of my relationship with her for which I had no answer and the same night I accepted the fact that I love her. I decided to propose her the next day but she didn’t come to college and how stupid I was with that thought of proposing. Of course, she wouldn’t have accepted me still I decided to express my feelings. I even went to her house but seeing Noah around her house made me angry again.
When I saw her at the college after few days, I felt a flare of joy inside me but what I saw in her eyes was totally opposite. The eyes that gleamed love towards me showed fear and hate then I didn’t dare to propose her. I thought she needed sometime to forget that night but to my surprise, she started trying to erase me from her life. At Roman’s party, I still tried to express my feelings but she didn’t listen to me. She spoke the things which were true. A guy like me, would never be good for her. She doesn’t want to recall the memories she had with me, she doesn’t want to remember anything and she doesn’t wants me. I never thought or cared about her feelings before and made her suffer a lot more than any girl would ever bear and I decided to not trouble my Stella anymore. I decided to not bother her with my presence. She might be better off without me but I still wish she would forgive me one day. Still wish she would love me like she did before. But I had no idea what I would do or what I would become if she never wants to talk to me again. Never wants me again.
(Stella’s POV)
After the day when Harry turned to a hero from an idiot, most of the things were changed. Anna started to talk to Harry again but she couldn’t forget what he did to me. Scarlett aunt changed from a strict dictator mother to a friendly one. And me… I’d been hanging somewhere between thanking him for helping Anna and ignoring him. But I saw a new Harry the day when he spoke to Scarlett aunt and a part of me bugged me to go, talk to him and forgive him for whatever the things he did. Sometimes I hate myself for being who I am.
Days passed and I was nearly at the edge of losing him forever. It’s hardly few days we all graduate and depart. I won’t say I still want him but I never want to lose him. This confusion of what I really want was killing me.
In all the chaos, an unexpected thing happen. The thing that left me shattered. That left my family and Harry’s family devastated. Granny’s death. It happened all of a sudden. I thought she would live for more years or months or even days. But I was wrong. I was disheartened and more than everyone, Harry was broken. It was unbelievable to him that the person whom he loves the most, had gone. Though we all knew it would happen we couldn’t take her death. I still see her on the dining table, having her cake which was baked by me. I still feel her hand caressing my cheek and talking to me. I still hear her laugh, see her smile. It’s another kind of hell to believe the person, who has great importance in our lives, was gone.
At present, I was at the funeral along with all others. It’s hard to be in the funeral but it’s harder to see Harry’s face. He stood like a stone with emotionless face. There would be no water remained in his eyes because of excessive crying. As per granny’s wish, she was buried beside her husband. I recalled the moment when she held Harry’s and mine hand in the death bed and spoke “I lived my life like I loved. I’ve no wish to live further as I experienced everything. I want to see my husband, who must be waiting for me. Harry, my love, take care and don’t think I’m going to leave you. If you want to say anything to me, just say. I’ll listen along with another Harry; your grandpa. And Stella, you became the daughter I never had and I’m going to miss you.” Then she kissed our foreheads and shut her eyes like she drifted into sleep, except the sleep was meant to be forever.
After few days of funeral, we all went to Harry’s house. He spoke no word to any of us. My parents kept consoling uncle and Aunt but they couldn’t just be normal. They worry about Harry the most. My mom asked them to go to my house for the surroundings change which might make them better and I said I would come with Harry.
I wanted to see and talk to him. I can’t see him suffering. I walked to his room and entered in. I saw him drinking near the swimming pool. I stood behind him calling out his name “Harry?”
He looked at me for a moment and shifted his gaze. He didn’t speak anything but continued his drink. His ignorance hurt me the most.
“Don’t you want to see me?” I asked.
Still he didn’t reply anything. I sat on my knees beside him holding his hand. I spoke “I know it’s hard to believe that granny is no more. But we have to live with it, Harry.”
His silence was deafening and I couldn’t take that. My heart was already heavy with granny’s demise and I couldn’t just see Harry avoiding me. Tears started to blur my vision and I shouted “Harry please speak something.”
“What to speak, Stella? Nothing is there to talk. Because my granny died you came to talk to me over a point of sympathy and I don’t want that. It took these many months for you to come to me and talk something. After this moment, we will again go back to our own ways so why pretending like you care me at this moment?”
I shook my head angrily with his words and shouted “Don’t you dare say that, Harry. I do care for you. It’s not a point of sympathy why I’m here.”
Harry let out a dry chuckle hearing me. He said “I’m fine. I’ll get through it. Go away Stella.”
“Harry please. Look at me.” Saying that I held his face between my palms and made him look into my eyes.
“Why do you even care about a guy, whom you think is not good? From whom you are thinking to go away? From whose memories you want to escape?” He asked with hurt and anger in his eyes.
“Harry, it’s not the time for those things. Let’s go to my home. Let’s go out Harry. You can’t always sit here and remember Granny.”
“I don’t want to go anywhere. I want to be alone. Go away.” He shouted and stood from there.
“You can’t always be stubborn, Harry. Listen to me.” I said standing from there.
“I said GO AWAY.” He shouted in a loud voice.
When I was about to speak something, he threw his glass to the floor looking at me angrily. I flinched with his action and ran away from there crying.