I was on my bed resting my back to the headboard while gazing at the wall. Although my look was on the wall, I was seeing nothing. Just void.
When the flashes of the memories kept hitting the head always, it was impossible to not to think about the people who gave us the memories. As much as I tried not to think about him, the more he was invading my head. It was really chaotic. In all the chaos and a lot of emotions, my mind said a thing. Suppress everything that I had been feeling and live the life. I decided to listen to it. Yeah! I thought it many times but I didn’t took it to action but after seeing him dancing with some other my heart was broken to an extent that I guess it can’t be broken anymore. At a certain point we feel nothing though a lot of emotions stirring inside. I reached that point.
When I was in my thoughts, Anna entered in calling out my name. She sat beside me saying “Let’s go out.”
I nodded my head as negative as I was not in the mood to go out.
“Come on Stella. Have you remembered when was the last time we both went out? It’s really many days back.” Anna said frustrated.
“Anna! I don’t want to…”
“Go out?” She let out a sigh shouting “It’s been weeks Stella. Weeks since you and Harry, what to say, broke up or whatever you relationship is. He is just being himself and here you are. Always sad and gloomy. I don’t know how to make you feel better.” Anna’s voice started to break as she swallowed the sadness.
“Hey! I’m fine. I’m just not in the mood, that’s it. I’m not thinking about him. Yeah, I decided to not do it.”
She rolled her eyes seemed not convinced with my words. I stood from the bed saying “Let’s go.”
Anna’s face lit up looking at me. We then walked out to our regular cafe and ordered our favourite cappuccinos for us. She kept talking and I started to enjoy her words. I felt better being with her and roaming the town. We then walked to the places we usually went, to the park, parlour and many places. It was good and I wanted to be like that always.
The next day I again saw Harry’s dance practice with that girl. If I say I just ignored them then it’s a total lie. After that day, I saw them again but I didn’t feel much pain. It was bearable as I was getting used to it. All the days I’d been seeing them and the thing I was doing was just ignore them. Finally I was able to ignore him and his actions.
It’s the day of town’s competition. Everyone was so busy in buying tickets, volunteering and all other things except me. I was infront of the TV eating my popcorn. My parents clearly understood that Harry and I had a fight but it didn’t had any effect on their relationship with Harry as well as my relationship with Harry’s parents. We were good.
Though I decided to not go to the town’s competition, my heart was asking me to attend as it was my favourite one. Since I was a kid, I never missed even a single competition. If I was not a participant then I went there definitely as one of the audience.
Anna strolled in with the tickets in her hand. I told her I didn’t want to go there but she didn’t listen to me.
“I know you want to go there. It’s your favourite. You can’t just leave your favourite things and hobbies because of a person. Just ignore Harry and enjoy like we always used to do.” She tried to convince me but I didn’t get convinced that easily. Finally I gave up with my stubbornness and got ready to go there.
Anna and I reached there smiling. I saw Harry along with Roman. We both shifted our gazes after looking at one another. Roman walked to us and greeted. I even saw Rory there. We talked casually about Noah and few other things. He said Noah was coming to the town in few days and I felt so happy to hear that. I was going to meet my one and only guy friend. Okay, Roman also became my guy friend but Noah always remains in the top. The last time I met him was months back when he arrived town to see his parents.
Anna, Roman and I walked in and sat among the audience. I noticed Vickie was giving me glares from the other side probably thinking about last time’s competition. Harry too was gazing at me. Ignoring them I kept talking to Anna. Soon the dances were started and we both started shouting seeing the performances. Wow! They were really amazing. Even Vickie’s performance was awesome. I think she might had practiced well. It’s getting really tough to predict who might win.
It’s time for Harry’s performance. Control Stella! Keep calm. I kept telling myself like chanting it. Seeing him on the dance floor raised the feelings in me again that I had been suppressing. I recalled our dance, my excitement after we won it and everything. Controlling so hard I tried to watch them.
The music started and the girl was in her dance position smiling but Harry was standing straight keeping his gaze on me. Everyone was surprised to see him like that. The famous dancer in the town, the winner of the town’s competition last time was not dancing. He was frozen in his place not even moving. I looked at him narrowing my eyebrows. The girl was patting him to dance but he was not caring about her.
“Mr. Wilson?” The judge called out his name but he was not responding.
“Harry Wilson?” The judge called out again and he shifted his gaze away from mine. Without saying anything, he walked out from the place and the girl apologised the judges. How careless he was?
Everyone started murmuring about his behaviour. The host cleared the situation asking the next dancers to perform. Roman walked out as soon as Harry strolled away. After Rory’s performance, Anna and I too walked out. I saw Harry, Roman and the girl near the parking. The girl was hugging Harry but he was standing like a rock. Roman walked to us after seeing us.
“Harry apologized her for his behaviour. She was saying it’s completely fine.” Roman said looking at me.
I raised my eyebrow saying “I didn’t ask.”
“Um… yeah! I just told.” He smiled.
Harry’s gaze fell on mine and he clenched his jaw. He looked furious. He strolled to me angrily fisting his hand. What the hell!
He suddenly hit the wall beside me that made me flinch and shut my eyes. Anna and Roman was looking at him puzzled. My heart started thumping fast looking at him. His knuckles started bleeding but he was not even caring about it.
“Harry!” Roman tried to stand beside him but Harry raised his hand stopping him. He gave me one final angry look and walked past behind me reaching his car. He then drove off in a full speed.
I didn’t understand what happened to him and why he got angry. I stood there frozen.
“What the hell happened to him?” I asked looking at Roman.
He shrugged his shoulders saying “I don’t know. I’ll talk to him.”
I nodded my head and we all reached our houses.
(Harry’s POV)
Fuck! I had no idea the hell’s happening to me. She left me though I did nothing wrong. I was just being myself. But from the moment she stopped talking to me I was going crazy. I tried to talk to her when she bumped into me many weeks back but she looked she was not even interested in talking to me.
What the hell she was thinking about herself? She even withdrew from the competition without telling a thing to me. She had no idea how angry I got when she did that. I thought she would talk to me or the least fight with me when she see me with some other girl dancing but that minion madam who doesn’t even reach my shoulders ignored it. Ignored me. Then why should I think about her?
I too tried to ignore her but it was getting hard. The fuck she did to me. Even few minutes back, I couldn’t dance on the floor. Fuck memories! The stage, the crowd and everything in this town was filled with her memories. I had been thinking about her more than I ever thought about any girl. Whenever I told these things to my not so smart cousin, he lectured me saying to ask myself what I had been feeling about her. I didn’t understand what exactly I was feeling for her as all the emotions got mixed up.
I was being so dramatic but I couldn’t help it. I was losing my control and the only thing I could do was had my drink till I feel nothing. I started to drink trying to forget her while I was seeing her image in front of my eyes. I continued my drink till everything started to blur and the darkness consumed me.