Alex’s POV –
I watch her sleeping form, the way her chest rises and falls softly. The small movement reassures me that she is alive, breathing. I don’t dare blink in case I miss a slight movement because I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let her out of my sight. My eyes are heavy with the guilt eating me up alive. I feel the tears continue to build up, streaming down my cheeks despite me desperately trying to stop them.
My lifestyle is the cause of her pain. My lifestyle is the cause of her nightmares. The way her body trembles even as she sleeps because she’s consumed by fear, I caused that. The violence and constant fighting with rivalry, creating enemies has cost me the most two important women in my life.
Ariana may still be alive but her spirit and heart have been damaged.
The hospital door opens and Papa walks in, his eyes drifting over to me lying next to her. His own eyes are rimmed with redness, a shiny layer covering his dark pupils. I know he’s thinking of Mama and so am I. Her smiling face won’t leave my mind, it never will.
“How is she?” Papa asks quietly, his voice a low rumble. I keep my hand on her frail arm, comforted by the warmth her skin provides me.
“Not good. She’s alive and breathing but she’s scarred Papa and I don’t know whether I can get her back.” I tell him quietly, my eyes trained on her face. They drift down the sweet contours of her plump lips and I wonder whether I’ll ever be able to kiss them again.
“She’s a strong girl, she’ll be okay.” Papa responds, standing by the doorway. It’s almost like he’s afraid to come inside and ruin this moment, ruin Ariana further. I respect him for giving me and her the space we need because from now on, she comes first.
“Strength can still be torn down. Si, she is strong but she shouldn’t have gone through that. She doesn’t deserve that!” I tell him, anger lining my voice. Papa barely blinks, his hands stuffed inside the pockets of his long coat.
“She will be okay.” He repeats, his voice flat-lined. I clench my jaw and finally turn around to face him. My eyes connect with his and I stare intensely at him, noticing the lack of life inside his eyes.
“Si, she will be okay because I’ll make sure she’s okay. I’m out of the game Papa, I’m going clean.” I tell him firmly. His eyes widen and for the first time, I see an expression flash across his face, fear.
“You can’t just decide to get up and leave one day Alejandro. You’re making a massive mistake, throwing this all away for some girl!” Papa argues back with me, desperation lacing his words. I clench my fist and stand up, turning towards him.
“We started this to find Mama’s killer and we have. It’s over, go home. Go back to Valencia and start a new life.” I tell him firmly, wanting him to listen to my advice. He can’t stay forever in the drug business, he’ll end up dead. Our connections and the respect we built within the community finally led us to Mama’s killer. Along the way, we made lots of money and gained lots of experience.
Now it’s time for it to come to an end.
“There’s nothing for me in Valencia. My empire is here.” Papa spits back at me, his features contorted in anger. I breathe in sharply through my nose, taking another step towards him —
“Our one goal was to find my mothers killer and we found him. He’s dead Papa! Take what you have and go back to our family.” I plead with him. I hear Ariana stir behind me and I quickly glance over my shoulder, making sure she’s still sleeping. My eyes linger on her and I feel my heart swell with love and protection.
I’ll protect her with my life from now on.
“I’ve ruined her life and I need to try to make it right. I’ve done some bad things but it’s time for me to change who I am and fix this.” I tell him quietly. The entire time, he remains silent, eyes trained on the floor. I can practically see the thoughts whirling around his brain as he battles to accept my choice.
“Hijo, we make a great team.” Papa mumbles, shoulders slumping in defeat. I nod my head because he’s right —
“Yes we do, but as father and son.”
His head shoots up and dark eyes connect with mine, eyes that look so much like mine. An overwhelming wave of sad-ness washes over me as I look at him, think about everything we’ve been through. I take the last few steps before I’m standing in front of him, eye level. When I arrived to this country with my father, I was a little boy who’d just lost his mother. I was scared, anger and frustrated at the world.
Today I’ve been given a second chance.
Papa’s dark eyes glisten with tears and he pulls me into him, our arms embracing one another. He slaps me on the back, sniffling into my shoulder. I inhale his scent and I know it’s time for us both to hang up our gloves. This lifestyle isn’t for us . . . We started it simply for revenge.
“I’m done with the fighting.” I mumble into the fabric of his clothing. He nods his head, stepping back before reaching up to wipe at his eyes.
“Okay Alejandro, I respect your decision.” His eyes briefly flicker over to Ariana who’s lying beaten and fragile on her hospital bed. My gaze follows his and when I see her, a deep stone lodged itself inside my throat. There it is again . . . The feeling of guilt.
“Look after her, I can see that you love her.” He mumbles, placing a hand on my shoulder. I don’t respond with words be-cause I’m too choked up so instead I give him a simple nod. He breathes in sharply, composing himself before leaving the room. I watch him go, his dark hair and broad shoulders disappearing from sight.
“Alex?”
At the mention of my name, I whirl around, my breathing caught in my throat.
“Si Hermosa, what can I do for you?” I ask her gently, making my way beside her. I take hold of her hand, my eyes searching the depth of her grey ones. She swallows, her features twisted with pain as she searches my face.
“I need you to do something for me.” Ariana mumbles, her words slightly slurred from her drugged up state. I nod my head, leaning closer to her ear.
“Anything, I’ll do anything for you.” I mumble, breathing in her sweet scent. It calms the nerves cursing through my body and I feel my muscles relax simply from her presence. Ariana pauses before responding, her eyes flickering closed as she pulls away into a sleep once again. When she speaks, her words are a hushed whisper —
“Call my parents.”