Do you believe that there is a greater meaning to things that happen to you in your life? Take for instance Skye and Tajsa. When I am with Tajsa, something bad happens with Skye. When I am with Skye something bad happens with Tajsa. At some point here do I need to realise that one of these women is not good for me. Did I not make this decision almost two weeks ago? I need to make it again, I don’t know about you, but it really is getting old now.
The fact is, I cannot have the best of both lives because things just don’t work like that. And the thing is, that I thought I was gambling with my heart where after all I am playing with the hearts of these two women. They both might seem to be strong but they are not a match against each other. The one is like night to the other’s day, the monster in the other’s closet. They do not compare, the one will destroy the other’s world just to get what she thinks to belongs to her.
Skye has been in a horrible accident, Amber is crying so much that I cannot establish her definition of horrible. All I know is that I need to get back to the city as fast as this damn car can go. Thanks to my need to impress women with fast cars, this thing can go zero to sixty in two and a half seconds. At an insane speed of one sixty, I might just make it therein under an hour.
And that is just what I do. I pull up into the parking lot in just under an hour. I nearly bump an old lady over as I burst through the doors of the hospital. Looking frantically for room fourteen C on the third floor, by sheer chance do I bump into Jo.
Damon ~”Fuck Jo, where is she? Is she okay?”
Jo ~”She is beaten up quite bad, a couple of broken ribs.”
And this is where my body goes numb. The only thing running through my head is that horrible accident with my mom.
Jo ~”Damon, Damon, are you listening?”
Damon ~”Yes sorry, you said something about broken ribs?”
Jo ~”Yes she has a couple of broken ribs. Her face and arms are cut up from the broken glass.”
Damon ~”Can I see her?”
Jo ~”Sure but she is not going to know who you are.”
Damon ~”What do you mean she won’t know who I am?”
Jo ~”She had a bad head injury, she cannot remember anything.”
Damon ~”How can she not remember anything?”
Jo ~”She only remembers up to when she was about twenty. Back when her parents were still alive.”
My world crashes down like a ton of bricks. How stupid can I be, I should have gone for dinner with her? What kind of an asshole picks his friend over his girlfriend. Why the hell does decisions in life have to be so hard? I should have been with her, the last time I saw her we had a stupid ass fight. Yes she said it was fine over the phone but I knew she was telling me a lie just to make me feel better.
Damon ~”FUCK, FUCK, FUCK! This can’t be happening! What the fuck! Why the fucking hell! Can I still see her?”
Jo ~”Come, I will take you to her. Please don’t press her to remember anything.”
Damon ~”Is Amber going to be a bitch towards me? Cause I am really not in the fucking mood for it.”
Jo ~”I will fucking punch her if she does.”
We get to the room where they are keeping Skye in. As I stick my head around the corner, I am so hoping that she would recognize and smile at me. But no such luck, instead she leans over to Amber.
Skye ~”Who is the hotty with Jo?”
Amber ~”He is a friend, he just came to check if you okay. I asked him to come. Let me introduce you to him.”
Damon ~”Hey Skye, my name is Damon.”
Skye ~”Hey Damon, it’s nice to meet you. You had to come visit when I look like shit.”
Damon ~”Next time I will phone ahead so you can fix up your make up.”
Skye ~”Yes, this lovely cuts don’t quite look so pretty.”
Damon ~”I think you are pretty just as you are.”
Skye ~”Don’t let your girlfriend hear you say that or are you one of those play boys?”
Damon ~”No I am not a playboy.”
Skye ~”Well you must have one very lucky girlfriend.”
Damon ~”I don’t know so much about lucky.”
Skye ~”Ah well you seem like a nice guy anyway.”
Amber ~”Skye don’t you want to get some rest?”
Skye ~”Yes I am feeling quite tired now.”
Damon ~”It was nice to meet you Skye.”
Skye ~”Likewise Damon.”
Before I can burst into tears, I leave the room. The woman that you are in love with does not know who you are. You are a stranger, every last kiss and every last touch you ever had is forgotten. All those nights in each other’s arms with Max and Bella at our feet are forgotten. The laughter, the chasing around in the kitchen is all gone. The way she fought with me when I gave Max her slippers, she will not remember.
The first time she laid eyes on me even though she hated my guts are not even a memory. The brightness in her eyes when the sees me is not even in there. She will not even recall the day she told me that she is in love with me. The only comfort is that she won’t remember the times we had a fight. She does not know that I hurt her. She has a clean slate. She can start it all over and the saddest part is that she does not have to start it over with me.
Damon ~”Can I come see her tomorrow again?”
Amber ~”I don’t want you to overwhelm her. Maybe the day after?”
Damon ~”Ok, thanks Amber.”
Jo ~”Take care Damon, let me know if you need anything. Even if it is just to talk.”
Damon ~”Thanks Jo.”
With a heavy heart, I leave the hospital. I feel I am going to fall apart. Oh no you don’t Damon Chase, this time I am kicking your own ass. You need to be there for Skye even if you are never going to be back together again. What an awful thought to think, but that adjust the reality that is staring you in the face. You have just about lost the second most important woman in your life. No don’t worry so fast, the first was my mother.
I did not even asked what happened. Was it because of me that went and saw Tajsa? Is this my fate for playing with people’s hearts? Like I said, I can’t have one without the other one getting hurt. As I sit down in the lounge I am just staring into all that is nothing around me, I break down and let loose of all my pain and anger.
My body aches and my head hurts as I make my way upstairs to go have a shower. I want to wash away the pain but I know it is not even possible. As I step in, the tears are flowing with the water. Which one are more than the other that I cannot tell you.
When my eyes catch a glimpse of her shampoo bottle, my body starts to shake uncontrollably. I cannot live without the woman that I love. Yes there I said it and nobody else but me are ever going to hear it.
The next day at the office, I am forced to carry on with things as best as I can.
Joelle ~”Morning Mr Chase.”
Damon ~”Morning Joelle.”
Joelle ~”I got you coffee.”
Damon ~”Please can you send flowers to Skye?”
I give her the details of the hospital.
Joelle ~”Shit Mr Chase is she ok?”
Damon ~”No Joelle, she does not know who I am.”
Joelle ~”What do you mean?”
Damon ~”She can remember the past three years of her life.”
Joelle ~”My god that is terrible. What are you going to do now?”
Damon ~”There is nothing I can do, just hope that she does remember but the doctor said she might just never.”
Joelle ~”Are you allowed to see her?”
Damon ~”Her sister asked me not to come so often.”
Joelle ~”She can be such a bitch.”
Damon ~”She is right though, I should not overwhelm her.”
Joelle ~”Please let me know if there is anything that you need.”
Damon ~”Just make sure to send her flowers every week.”
Joelle ~”Sure I will.”
Back in my office, all I can do is sit behind my desk, you are not going to lose it. Not this time, do you understand me Damon Chase? Skye needs a man, not a wimp pissing his days up and throwing his life away. Yes so what it sounds like I am going insane, all taking to myself and stuff.
Talking about insane, should I tell Tajsa? Quite frankly, this is one of those things I don’t want to make her business.
The day goes by quicker than it feels but the nights is longer than necessary. The next day goes by in a flash until the night when it finally comes time to see her.
As I walk into the room at the hospital, I can see that she has been crying.
Damon ~”Hey Skye.”
Skye ~”Hey Damon, it is nice for you to come visit.”
Damon ~”Are you feeling okay today?”
Skye ~”Amber just told me what happened. Where do you fit into all of this?”
I look on over to Amber who is waiting to hear what I say.
Damon ~”I am just a friend that is worried about you.”
Skye ~”Thank you, I really appreciate it.”
Damon ~”Any time, just as long as you get better.”
Skye ~”Maybe there is something so bad that I just don’t want to remember.”
Damon ~”There is nothing bad in your life.”
Skye ~”How can you be so sure of that?”
Damon ~”Just because I know, I never ever saw you unhappy while I have known your sister.”
Skye ~”Well I am glad my sister has such a good friend. Maybe one day you would even be a couple.”
I nearly fall off my damn chair as she says it. Is she completely nuts, how can she even say that. Fuck I would murder her sister if I had to be alone in a room for ten minutes.
Amber ~”Sis we are not that close, I think some days I want to strangle him more than anything.”
Damon ~”Believe me I have to agree there.”
Skye ~”You two have a very weird friendship.”
Damon ~”You know how bitchy your sister can be, sometimes she drives me up the walls.”
It’s more like always.
Amber ~”He is just making it sound worse than it really is.”
Damn right it is worse than it seems.
Damon ~”So when are you coming out?”
Skye ~”The day after tomorrow.”
Amber ~”She is going to come stay with me for a while.”
Fucking fantastic, now I am never going to see her.
Amber ~”But I am sure you can come over if you want to see her.”
Another fall off my chair there moment. Why on earth is her sister so nice to me? Is she up to something?
Skye ~”I told her I will be fine, but she does not want to listen. I can remember when my own damn house is.”
Amber ~”And the coffee shop?”
Skye ~”I told you I can. Now stop treating me like a baby.”
Damon ~”Maybe I should leave you girls alone.”
Not that I really want to but someone is about to lose some of her hair.
Amber ~”Why do you have to be so damn impossible?”
Damon ~”I can always come back later.”
Skye ~”No!”
Amber ~”Don’t you dare go..”
Damon ~”Okay I will just sit here but please don’t fling anything to my side.”
Skye ~”The only flinging is going to be at her head.”
Amber ~”Maybe I must fling that plate at you, maybe you get your damn memory back.”
Skye ~”Maybe I will remember what a horrible sister you really are.”
Damon ~”I think I am really going to go now.”
Skye ~”You are not getting off that chair.”
Amber ~”If you move then you are dead.”
Why the fuck am I in the middle of their tiff, I mean really when did I die and go to hell. I need to stop this before someone actually does get hurt.
Damon ~”Skye do you want to come with me for coffee downstairs.”
Skye ~”Yes anything to get away from her.”
Amber ~”Yes please just take her out my face.”
Damon ~”Come baby. Shit! I mean come Skye.”
Skye ~”You should not call me baby, your girlfriend is going to strangle me.”
Damon ~”I am sure you can’t strangle yourself.”
Skye ~”Sorry what did you say?”
Damon ~”That nobody will dare to strangle you.”
Skye ~”You such a gentleman.”
Damon ~”That is not what your sister thinks.”
Skye ~”Amber is just a bitch.”
Damon ~”So are you really going to go stay with her?”
Skye ~”No not a damn chance.”
Damon ~”I can come check up on you if you want?”
Skye ~”Is Amber not going to get pissed at me seeing that you guys are so close?”
Damon ~”We not as close as you think.”
Skye ~”Well I don’t really like to step on her toes but it would be nice to make a friend.”
Ouch, goddammit that hurts. Why can’t I just tell her? What harm can it do? She will probably just be confused as fuck. What happens if she does remember and realise we have just been lying to her. Which one is the worst, knowing or not?
We sit down at the coffee shop, waiting for the waitress to come take our order.
Skye ~”You know what, I don’t even know what I like.”
Damon ~”Latte, if you are tired you take an extra shot of espresso. Oh, and you don’t take sugar.”
Skye ~”Geez for my sister’s friend you know an awfully lot about what I like to drink.”
Damon ~”My friends and I go to your coffee shop every day.”
Skye ~”That is great, so I will see you there more often.”
Damon ~”I guess you will.”
I wish she can remember the mornings we spend in bed together before she rushes to go open the coffee shop. We push the snooze button to its last second before we realize we are going to be too late for work.
Skye ~”You know what bugs me the most that I cannot remember?”
Damon ~”No what is that?”
Skye ~”That I might have left someone that I cared about behind.”
Damon ~”I am sure if that some cared about you, he’d be sitting here where I am.”
Skye ~”But you would know if I did have someone in my life.”
Damn what do I tell her?
Damon ~”Your sister never mentioned anyone to me and I never saw you with anyone at the shop.”
Skye ~”Then I am glad because I could not even imagine how forgetting someone completely can hurt.”
Damon ~”I think it would hurt more if that someone did not know how to make you better.”
I take her hands in mine and give it a hard squeeze. They feel even softer than I can remember. She still has some cuts and bruises but they are healing faster than my heart.
Damon ~”You know what the worse is?”
Skye ~”No what is it?”
Damon ~”If that person in your life can never say I love you because he has lost you forever.”
Skye ~”That would be very sad. If you say I did not have someone then I am glad I am not breaking someone’s heart.”
God that hurt, every minute I spend with her not knowing who I am is eating my heart away. I wish I can just hold her in my arms but she would not understand why I would want to. Is this what happens to men that are unfaithful? Has life just dealt me a rotten hand in a gamble I have lost? I am a bad man, whatever made me think I was good is just a bunch of bullshit.
Why is she here? What happened? What caused the accident that has taken her away from me?