Claire and I hang out a lot nowadays. Though it’s been only three days since she has joined the school but for the first time, I’m happy having a friend. She is a lot different from Clara. Clara was used to be my friend before Dany left. She said I am of no use to her since Dany is gone.
It makes me wonder, why everybody treats me obsolete? So it was hard to make friends after that or should I say hard to believe in some stranger. Why is that every time you take a risk to believe in someone it shatters your world?
You believe in people, they dump you. Use you. Leave you. Your world is shattered. It’s over. Then someone comes like a knight in shining armor. Everything gets back. You feel like you can trust again. Your world enlightens, they help you put every piece of your life together, your pain is no more a misery but just a mere feeling. Pain. Sorrow. Grief. Dismay. They are just words you hear. Then you start believing in yourself more than anything else. But it’s all a fallacy and history repeats itself. They leave you all by yourself.
Though I’m loving this right now. I mean, having a friend (who talks a lot) and sharing things with her, it’s weird that how easily Claire connects with me. She’s like a sister to me, maybe more than a sister. I know it’s very short time span, it’s been only three days but something makes me feel like she’s going to be there with me when I need help. I don’t know if I’m judging her or what but that’s what I feel.
But I’m afraid that she’ll leave me like they all did. Danny has been busy for past week now. We do hang out together when he’s free the only difference is now Claire’s also in the picture. Danny and Claire, they fight a lot. On Claire’s first day of school, Dany and her, they had a fight regarding whether ketchup is better or peanut butter. The worst part is the whole cafeteria was watching them and they made it look like a juvenile court.
My life is getting better but it still hurts seeing Raymond with Ellen. The weird part is I see Raymond every day in Library. I suppose we both have the same free period but I don’t understand since when he started going to the library. He always sits right across me which makes me panic.
Of course, I can’t let him see what effect he has on me. So I try to concentrate on the book. Though it’s hard, especially when Raymond is sitting in front of you and glancing at you, the worst part is YOU KNOW THAT!
I saw him stealing glances at me sometimes but I try not to get affected by that.
I don’t get it. He does that to all of his flings or what?
Before you start debating about the Raymond-used-me part. He didn’t use me entirely but he did use me for that moment. I’ve heard girls talking about Raymond sleeping with them and all, but after considering all that I know about him. I think he uses girls when he’s stressed or something. There’s no love involved.
Finally, it’s Friday and I just got home. Dany dropped me. I’m too tired by now I just wanted to get some sleep. I changed into my pajamas and a Minions t-shirt, I was heading towards my bed when doorbell rang. Thankfully Lavy was at home so I don’t have to see if I can go to sleep.
I just reach my bed when I heard Lavy calling for me.
“What is it?” I asked in frustration.
“Mike is here. I think he needs some help.”
Uhhhh…. screw my life.
“Coming” I cooed.
I went downstairs just to see Mike waiting for me at the dining hall with a huge grin stretched across his face. I gave him a confused look. It’s been a while since I’ve started teaching mike but I never saw him this happy, especially when studies are considered. As I walked towards him he mouthed me a name which made my heart stop. My heart skipped a beat. My breath hitched. I stopped in my tracks. I felt my hands cold. My body fell numb. All because of one name.
Raymond