Sophie Esinberg’s POV
I waited for some time but Ray didn’t come. Finally, I decided to complete my notes. I started to read and understand it better so that I can explain them to Ray easily.
At one point I was too frustrated. There were some topics which were very difficult to understand and since we had very less time left I had to do it fast. I started panicking and I didn’t even realize that I was chewing the back of my pencil.
I felt someone’s gaze on me. At first, I shrugged it and again concentrated on studying. Suddenly I felt someone’s presence in front of me. I slowly lifted my head up and as expected it was Raymond. His eyes were on my notes trying to figure out something. Probably I was so busy in studying that I didn’t see Ray entering the room.
“Hey!'” I gave a weak smile. What? I am still frustrated but I’m trying not to show it.
“Hey!” he said while still looking at the desk.
“How long have you been standing here?”
“Just when you decided to have that pencil for your breakfast,” he said pointing towards my desk. I followed his sight and my eyes landed on the poor pencil.
Ray started grinning and I gave him an amused look.
“What happened?” he asked trying to control his laugh.
“Nothing” I replied still frustrated.
By this time I started walking towards the projector to insert the pen-drive. Suddenly Ray grabbed my wrist and jolted me around. I narrowed my eyes.
“What?” I almost shouted. Okay I know it’s not his fault at all. But think about that moment when you are totally pissed and even if someone try to talk, it just makes you more frustrated.
He jerk me towards him with my wrist and the next thing I know is I’m standing in from of him , too close and his grip on my wrist is tight. His blue eyes are gazing mine, his touch sending current down my spine. I tried to free myself but his grip is too strong.
“What happened?” he asked me in a soft voice while still looking directly into my eyes.
His grip is too tight. I looked away from him and then glanced towards my wrist which he was holding. His eyes followed my sight. He left my wrist as soon as he realized that he was hurting me.
He took a step back and started scratching his neck which generally boys do when they are nervous.
“I-I’m sorry” still scratching his neck.
“Its okay” replied not looking at him.
He turns around and sat on the table patting the space next to him, gesturing me to join him. I followed and sat beside him.
“What happened?” he again asked in a soft voice looking straight at the projector.
“It’s just….. This fucking project is driving me crazy…” I sighed.
“Hey, it’s all right princess. It’s just a project!”
I know but grades do matter to me.”
“I know, we’ll work something out,” he said glancing towards me with his deep blue eyes.
“Hmmm” I nodded but didn’t see in his direction.
Awkward!
“You know, I have this typical nerd image in school. Sometimes it takes me a lot of effort to maintain that.” I mumbled but I know he heard that.
“Then you shouldn’t have built it up-”
“I didn’t” I cut him before he could speak any further.
“I just enjoyed studying and was curious to know more! People just built it up on their own and then I had to stand up to their expectations, the teachers- my parents.” I continued.
“And it took my social life leaving me being a loner.”
Ray was calmly listening to me and nodding. We were sitting there in silence as ray took my hand Inter-twining my fingers with his. He started speaking.
“You know Soaf, I never wanted to opt for science-”
He started drawing circles with his thumb on my hand which he was holding.
“I did it because of my parents. They wanted me to opt for it because it’ll help in our family business. I don’t want my Father’s Business. I want to become a footballer.”
“Did you talk to them, about this?” I could feel his misery. When you don’t like to do something and you’ve been pressurized to do it. It feels like a burden on you.
“Yeah. But they didn’t allow. So I chose not to give two shits about them but you know what? That doesn’t mean I don’t love them.” he finished seeing our intertwined fingers, I chose not to speak anything.
Isn’t that weird? Raymond and I, we’ve been through the same circumstances, yet we are like two faces of the same coin. He chose not to care and he became carefree and fearless. I cared about my image and about being miss goody two shoes and I ended up being weak, so weak that I cannot even stand for myself.