A few weeks passed by and Elaine was feeling a lot more sure-footed in her new life. Derek was right. She’d tried to instantly eliminate her old self and be this acceptable person she’d constructed in her mind and nearly tipped her entire world off the axis at the first test. She was coming to learn perfect didn’t exist and it wasn’t easy to translate fantasy into reality. The only reason she’d been considered a perfect assassin in the first place was because she outlived the entire first class of Black Widows. Now she was discovering that letting change take its course as slow as it wanted, made it easier for her to adjust and assimilate. She wasn’t trying to be Ellie or Tasha anymore, she was learning to be Elaine one day after the other with Derek’s help. It was fun and less stressful.
By the second week having a house full of people didn’t make her itch anymore. She actually loved the crowd, even when they would argue. It was overwhelming sometimes, but she always walked out into the backyard and took in the fresh air and a minute or two to herself before she joined the circus again with steadier nerves. It was amusing to watch Alonzo give up control to his son. The man was an alpha and being the head of the household was a reflex and, so he believed, his right. Elaine was under the impression that she was the head because she owned the six bedroom home, but Derek had sneakily paid her back for half of its cost and since the house was in Katya’s name, there was little Elaine could do about it. He’d even moved himself into the master bedroom. That did make her nervous, lying next to him every night. His breath at the back of her neck, his arm lazily tossed over her waist and his body unconsciously—he would like her to believe—in his sleep curving around hers in a protective and possessive gesture. She was so glad Katya still slept in the same room. This new discovery had made her shy in the sex department.
“Hey, what are you thinking about?”
Elaine looked up from the carrots she’d ceased to chop and at her adopted sisters as they followed each other into the kitchen each with a pot of food in their hands. She smiled at the two. They had made it possible for her to be a member of their family and she was grateful to them. Always would be.
“Just thinking about my life. What have you got there?”
“Mashed potatoes and chicken curry,” Ellie answered, “Anything interesting you would like to share?” she waggled her brows naughtily.
Elaine rolled her eyes at that and went back to her task, “Nothing to share.”
“Oh really?” Tasha said in a sing-song voice leaning against the island opposite Elaine, her elbows on the counter, her chin in her hands, “Are you sure? It’s not every day a woman has both her lovers living under the same roof, at the same time. Ménage à trois anyone?”
Elaine shushed her and looked around for Luciana. She knew—well Elaine hoped she did—about her and Daniel’s one night, but it wasn’t something a girlfriend needed a reminder of. Luciana had just begun to move freely around the house, the terror and fear from that night diminishing enough she felt comfortable being left in a room with a man who wasn’t Daniel. No need to ruin that and make her even more uncomfortable. And Derek, he was pretending like she and Daniel never happened. Elaine knew the only reason he did that was because of the hellish night the guy had gone through. And he felt quite superior because he had saved Daniel’s ass. The arrogant jerk.
“Would you not say that out loud? We are all fine with pretending it never happened so don’t stir up the hornets’ nest.”
Tasha pulled away and shrugged, “Whatever, I’ll find out from Damien once he gets the balls to ask. He’s afraid Derek might shoot him if he does.”
Ellie chuckled, “Dale is finding it hilarious considering our own past with Daniel. He’s just grateful we never went that far with our relationship.”
“Why don’t you two make yourselves useful and get stuff ready for the barbecue? As much as I love Sunday dinner together, I’m going to suggest going to a restaurant once in a while, take a break from cooking and cleaning.”
“Amen to that,” Tasha and Ellie concurred at the same time.
Elaine found that twin thing they do, like saying the same words or making a gesture at the same time, hilarious. It almost made her want to have twins, almost being the operative word. If it wasn’t for Damien’s mom, Elaine was sure Tasha would have dropped them off at an orphanage already.
“So, when will Daniel’s place be ready? I still can’t believe termites can get a house condemned. It must have been some infestation.” Ellie spoke, pulling out the Tupperware full of steaks out of the fridge.
“They should be moving in by the end of next week,” Elaine lied. She hated lying to them, but Derek had decided it would be best not to cause unnecessary concern and Daniel really didn’t want anyone to know what had almost happened in his bedroom that night. He suffered from a severe case of guilt. Derek was teaching him how to defend himself and Luciana.
“It will be nice having him on the same street. He doesn’t have any family and maybe now he’ll feel more like a part of ours.” Elaine stared at Tasha. Sometimes it was hard to reconcile this soft and cuddly person with the killer she used to be. “Where is Luciana anyway?”
“Here.” They all turned to the soft voice. Luciana stood at the doorway with a shy smile, “Is it alright if I help?”
“Of course,” Elaine responded, “You can help me finish the veggie dish I’m making.”
She nodded then began a slow approach when she suddenly stopped. Elaine smiled at the change from docile to determine when she lifted her chin, pushed her shoulders back and took even and sure steps until she stop by Elaine’s side. She gave Luciana a nod of approval before she stepped aside and let her take over the chopping. Elaine wasn’t the only one going through a transformation. With a little more time and support, Luciana would be a strong and confident woman. It just took one day at a time.
“So Elaine, you must be happy about Derek’s new job,” Luciana asked.
Elaine shifted her head to the side, confused, “What new job?”
Luciana gave her a quizzical look, “Daniel told me Derek will be leading a counter-terrorism unit.” she turned back to her chopping, “I think it’s very scary and dangerous. I’m glad Daniel is just a lawyer.”
Counter-terrorism? Her blood heated, warring between unfamiliar fear and intimate anger. She turned to Tasha and Ellie, who just stared back at her wide-eyed shaking their heads. They hadn’t known about this new career either. The secretive shithead, what did he not understand by keeping danger away from Katya? Was it the words she used, or the language? Maybe he would have understood better if she spoke to him in his native tongue. Too bad she didn’t know any words in Portuguese but she knew plenty in English.
“Excuse me,” she spat out and headed straight to the backyard where all the men were turning on the barbecue grill. Translation, one person, was doing all the work while the others stood around drinking beer and yacking.
She found Derek standing beside Daniel, who was lighting the grill. Alonzo was with them and by the look on their faces they were having a serious conversation. The proper thing would be to go back inside and wait until they were alone to discuss it. Just like it would have been the proper thing for Derek to tell her himself about his new job in the FBI counter-terrorism unit instead of Luciana. When she reached him, she grabbed his arm and forcefully turned him around to face her.
“Wow, are you—what did I do?” he finished cautiously.
Elaine smiled with sinister intent and he was bright enough to take a step away from her. “Is there something you would like to tell me, honey?” she asked pleasantly but she put as much venom as she could muster in the last word she spoke.
He raised his heavy brows at her. Then they furrowed forming a deep V, he cantered his head to the side and frowned as he thought her words over. Finally, he shook his head, “Nope, nothing to tell.”
She took a step to him and he took another back when Daniel stopped him. “Unless you want to have your ass seared crispy, I suggest you don’t take another step back.”
Derek wrapped his free hand around her arm and pulled her a few feet away, “You want to tell me what this is about, or would you like to punch me first?”
“I would like to do a lot more than just punch you.” She hissed.
He stood straighter, his face hardened, “I swear if you shoot me again I’ll shoot you back!”
“Uncle Alonzo, are you sure about letting them raise your granddaughter?”
Elaine didn’t see who said that, but she could guess it was Damien. The smart ass always had equally smart ass comments.
Derek looked over her head and glared at the snickering gents then looked back down at her. “Just tell me what’s wrong?”
“Congratulations on the new job.”
He groaned, turned away and dragged his hand over his face. He drank deeply from his beer bottle before he faced her again, “You found out about that. Who blabbed?”
Elaine shook her head blinking, “Who blabbed? Are you kidding me!”
“Shh, no need to yell.”
“Oh I haven’t begun to—” he covered her mouth with his hand and Elaine immediately bit the fleshy part of his palm. He pulled it away with a yelp and scowled down at her as he shook it.
“That was juvenile of you. Now I know where Katya learned to bite.” He chastised.
Elaine closed her eyes, clenched her fists and took a very deep breath. With every stupid word that came out of his mouth, the temptation to cut out his tongue climbed a notch higher. But she liked the sound of his voice too much and Katya would hate her for it. They needed to resolve this like normal human beings would, even though she and Derek were far from normal people.
“Are you in control now, can we discuss it?”
That deep breath didn’t work. She opened her eyes and glared up at him, “Discuss what? From what I heard you already made the decision to take the job.”
“Elaine, I won’t be out on the field much—”
“Oh I know,” she began, cutting him off, “Knowing you, you’ll probably chase after the fuckers wanting to fly planes into buildings!”
He placed his beer bottle on the grass, then grabbed her shoulders and pulled her to him. She struggled to pull away, but he caged her to him with his wide, strong arms. She gave up, besides she loved leaning her head against his hard chest, but she would not wrap her arms around him.
“Kitty Kat, stop worrying. You didn’t want me in the CIA anymore so I quit. I’m not a homebody or a desk jockey. That job at the FBI is a compromise the way I see it.”
A thought occurred to her. “Derek, who got you that job?”
His chest bounced with laughter, “If I tell you do you promise to punch him?”
Elaine groaned, “It was your dad wasn’t it?”
Derek held her away from him, bent his knees so that they were eye to eye. “Don’t worry, we’ll be fine. I promise.”
Promise? The moment he said that word, fear began to fester inside her. Nothing good ever comes with that word. “Don’t, don’t say promise.”
He sighed sadly, “You really hate that word. Despite the years I’ve made you promises and actually kept them, you still have a strong aversion to it.”
She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tight, her mind already concocting all the dangers that would come with his new job. What if his office building became a target for local terrorists? What if they decided to send him to infiltrate a cell because of his CIA background and he ended up getting killed? What if he got captured and the last time she sees him is on a screen, his head rolling on the floor? How would she explain that to Katya when she was grown and finds it on the internet? She closed her eyes tightly shut and fought to dispel that image from her head, holding him tighter to her. He’d come so close to that last part once. When Ellsa had told her he’d been captured, pure terror straight from hell consumed her and she ended up having a panic attack. She hadn’t had one in years and judging by how her chest was constricting at that very moment she was about to have another.
“How could you, how could you go back to that after what happened? Aren’t you scared that something will happen? What about Katya and me, have you thought about what it would do to us? What—” her eyes flew open and she swallowed hard trying to fend off the threatening panic attack, but it was no use. Her heart took off in a succession of erratic, disjointed bursts and she fisted her hands in Derek’s shirt.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” Derek’s voice pierced the buzzing in her ears.
She tried to respond, but breathing became a real issue.
“Come on baby, just take a deep breath. Come on,” he spoke to her, rubbing her back in a circular motion that was beginning to distract her. “There you go. Breathe with me, in and out.”