A White Picket Fence
Amber has been tormented for the last couple of weeks. She has seen Matt a couple times, but it is not the same. He says he is fine with her not wanting to get more serious, but she can tell he is disappointed. When Amber has no idea what to do, she does what she has always done and heads to her Grandma Ester’s house for advice.
Amber’s relationship with her Grandmother is special. She is more than a family member; Grandma Ester is one of her best friends. Amber respects her judgment; she has confided in her many times. Grandma Ester has always been there for her and always provided her with logical guidance.
Their closeness goes all the way back to when Amber was born. Shortly after her birth, Amber’s mother had to return to work. Grandma Ester babysat her every weekday for the first year of her life. After that, it was every Friday for the next thirteen years. They played games together; she grew up with her Grandma Ester as a second mom. Amber and her Grandma Ester have continued to be close her entire life.
Amber gave her Grandma Ester a call and asked to come over. Grandma figured it was boy trouble and probably about Matt. When Amber arrives, Grandma Ester has tea ready; they sit at the kitchen table to chat.
“Grandma, I’m so confused. I like Matt, but I’m afraid to let our relationship advance. He wants more, but I’m not ready.”
“How serious are you two?”
“It would be very serious if I let it, and if Matt wasn’t a fire fighter. Matt asked me to move in with him. That’s a big commitment. Most of my hesitation comes from remembering Grandpa being a fire fighter. I just don’t know what to do.”
Amber bursts into tears. Trying to talk through her sobs, she tells Grandma how she remembers her grandpa and her fear about fire fighters. Grandpa was always there, and then suddenly he was not. There were whispers of Grandpa being gone and not coming home. She remembers going to Grandma Ester’s house. Her mom and everyone were in tears…with Grandma holding Amber tight.
Grandpa looked so handsome in his uniform. The final time Amber saw him at his funeral, in his uniform, still haunts her. Every time she hears a fire engine siren, her pulse quickens.
Grandma Ester takes Ambers hand and leads her to the sofa, so they can sit together. Grandma holds her, like when she was little. “Amber, we all worry about everyone we love, but it shouldn’t keep us from doing things and living life to the fullest. Living in too much fear, is not really living.”
“But, Grandma you miss him so much!”
“Yes, I did. If I only had him in my life for one day, it would have been worth it.” Grandma tells her, “Your grandfather loved being a fire fighter. It was the greatest job in the world…important and fulfilling. It takes a certain type of person to put their life on the line to help others. Yes, it was hard when he was killed, but if I had it to do all over again, I would support him again. Fire fighters are special, and your grandpa was incredibly special.”
“I don’t know Grandma, if I should take a chance.”
“Do you love him?”
“Maybe… I don’t know.”
Grandma tells her, “When I was a young woman, my mother, your Great Grandmother, told me, when you love someone you want to be with that person every minute.”
Amber thinks for a moment. “Grandma, maybe I do love him, I certainly want to be with him all the time. I’m so afraid of making another mistake.”
“Amber, you are nuts not to follow your heart. In your job, buying real estate is 80 percent decided with your brain and 20 percent from your heart. Love is 40 percent with your brain, 40 percent with your heart, and 40 percent with your vagina.”
“Shame on you Grandma, and besides that makes 120 percent?”
“That’s exactly right; love is always more than 100 percent. You need to tell him how you feel.”
“I’m so unsure, and besides Kelly is interested in him.”
“I don’t care who’s interested in him. Tell Kelly and Matt how you feel, tell the whole world—rent a billboard!”
“I don’t want to get in their way Grandma, and I’m afraid he may not still want me.”
Grandma holds up an index finger emphasizing the points as she tells Amber what she thinks. “Yes, there’s a chance you will be hurt and disappointed. But if you don’t tell Matt how you feel about him and lose him, you will regret it the rest of your life.”
Amber’s eyes again tear up a bit. She knows her Grandma Ester is right.
Grandma stands up. “Now get going you block head, you’re going to make me late for my lunch date with Giovanni.”
“Giovanni…from The Italian Deli?”
“Oh yeah Amber…Giovanni has ah the besta pepperoni in town,” trying to fake an Italian accent.
“Oh Grandma!” Amber rolls her eyes, hugs Grandma Ester, and heads for her car. As she walks, she is thinking, Grandma Ester always knows what to do…I should have come here sooner. Grandma Ester watches her from the door. Smiling she is thinking, damn I’m good.
Amber immediately heads to Kelly’s house, tells her she loves Matt, and wants him back.
Kelly smiles, “I have not had a date with him and do not intend to. I wanted you to get jealous, come to your senses, and realize you love him. Matt is a wonderful guy, but he’s your wonderful guy.” Kelly has been keeping it together for her.
***