Alex
Fuck …. shit what the fuck I said to Kate …. I can’t believe myself … I take my all-day frustration out on her… I know Kate has right to stop Emma. … for fuck’s sake she is her mother …. but I can’t control myself … I thought she is paying me back by treating my daughter the way I treated her daughter… as soon as the thought come, I lashed, but when I saw Kate’s tears, I knew I fucked up… she can never even think like this.
I looked at the table and saw both girls have scared expression, Aria was crying quietly
Emma said ‘ daddy I’m sorry … but mama was right it was bad manner … I should say sorry … please don’t fight’
Aria said ‘ me want mama’
I replied ‘ OK girls … I’m sorry to scare you like that but I’m going to talk to Mommy and you guys will go to your room OK’
I called Martha to check the girls and with a heavy heart I enter the room I saw Kate lying down in bed where she holds her stomach tightly, I could see she was crying, and her body was shaking
I sat in the bed and gently put my hands on her ‘Kate’
She removed my hand ‘ don’t touch me’
Fuck… this is the first time she did that to me … even before I hurt her, she never said no to my touch… but now I can clearly see I broke her heart…
I tried ‘ Kate please let me explain’
She turned with a sob and said ‘ what do you want to explain… that I’m nothing to your Emma… that I’m just a stepmother not a real mother to her… or I have no right to tell Emma. the difference between right and wrong… or that I’m just stupid girl with no social gathering to whom you are stuck with because she was knocked up by you’
I never saw Kate this angry and emotional ‘ Kate I’m fucking sorry … I shouldn’t have said that… I’m an idiot who always hurt you… but believe me I took my all-day frustration on you … of course you have every right to tell Emma… she is your daughter… I’m sorry I should stop her and not lashed out on you’
She is crying badly ‘ Alex you said those words in front of the girls… what is Emma going to think about me… you make me a bad guy in front of her… I love her so much and now she thinks I was scolding her without reason’
I hold her shoulders’ Kate, she loves you too … she said she is deeply sorry … she wants to come and tell you, but I stop her because I want to say sorry first…. Kate, please forgive me please … I never meant those words … you know me’
Kate said ‘ I think I never know you…. I sometime think why I’m even in this position … why I can’t leave all this …. I know you don’t love me… but I have spent more time with you then Emily. And as a mother for Emma… hell I even ignore Aria for your Emma. all I want is respect from you …. and after all this time the way Aria is treated by you, I should have left you but still I’m here because I can’t leave Emma. ‘
I was shocked by Kate’s words … fuck … is she thinking to leave me?… no … that will never happen
I said ‘ Kate listen to me … I know I don’t deserve you but don’t leave me OK … I really do fucking respect you… but I’m an arsehole. but please don’t leave me … you become an incredibly significant part of my life… I lose Emily, I can’t lose you’
Then I kissed her like she is my last breath … she tried to push me and resisted… I said ‘ Kate it’s me … don’t deny this … you’re so beautiful that sometimes its hurt … you’re everything’
My words are like putting water to the fire that I created, she reacts a little… I kissed her more passionately… I was so terrified she will leave me… I opened her legs tear her underwear and make her prepare for me she was softly moaning but she pushed me ‘ no Alex … I can’t ‘
I stopped her and tried to unzip my trouser ‘ no baby I want you… you’re my everything … don’t leave please’
I was so desperate that I don’t even know what I was saying… It was like my heart was saying those words that I hide it for many years
I pushed inside her we both moan and then I started thrusting her hardly … Kate screamed my name
She said ‘ I hate you for making me feel like this’
I heavily breath ‘ I am fucking hate myself for hurting you ‘
We both climax then lay together quietly… Kate removes herself from me … I hold her arm ‘ where you are going’
She removed her hand ‘ I’m going to check the girls’
I stand ‘ I lost control … I’m sorry take please forgive me for everything’
Kate sighs ‘ Alex I have to check girls before they sleep… we will talk later… please let me go now…’
Kate
Emma was crying, said ‘ mama I’m so sorry… daddy angry with you because of me…. please forgive me’
I replied ‘ oh baby it’s OK … it’s not your fault… you know I loved you a lot… so mama can scold you a little but please don’t mind … I stop you to do things which I know is no good for you’
Emma said ‘ I know mama… I’m sorry for doing that ‘
I looked at Aria she was holding her blanket tightly she is standing timidly next Emma’s bed… I told her to come here she came and sat with me ‘ mama I don’t like you crying… please don’t cry’
I removed my tears with the tissues,’ all gone OK how about we three lay on this bed, I will tell you a good story and then we can discuss about tomorrow birthday party’
Just like that my both girls become happy
It was late when I left their room… went to my room… I was exhausted … I need to sleep otherwise I will not wake up on time
When I enter, I saw Alex was waiting for me tensely ‘ Are they sleep’
I replied ‘ yes
I went to bathroom changed into my nightie I then turn to bed…. I felt Alex also lie down… he holds me from behind
I said ‘ Alex I’m tired please let me sleep’
He replied ‘I know… I just want to hold you… I know you’re truly angry with me but please forgive me… I’m so sorry…’
I sigh then turned to him I saw his desperate face… I said ‘ I’m not angry I’m so upset with you … what you said to me I still can hear those words… after all these years I thought you trust me … you feel for me may be not love but something else, but it shows I was living in house of misunderstanding ‘
He came closer ‘ please baby … what I said was out of my own guilt and defence, but I know it was not true you’re everything I want in a wife, in a mother of Emma. …. I said that before I’m a jerk who doesn’t want to get hurt but then I hurt you…. I swear on Emma’s life I never meant those words … I just said because
I completed his sentence,’ because you think I’m taking my anger on Emma. because you treated Aria like shit…. I knew that moment when you mention Aria … but I’m not like you who compare and ignore one of my kids … they both are my daughters … my life… my heart… my only reason of living here… if I wanted to do something like that I would have done long ago but I would not do that..’
He kissed my forehead ‘ I know … babe … I know… you still my pretty girl… I made a terrible mistake please forgive me … please Kate ‘
I closed my eyes… tears were falling ‘ I forgive you, but it will take some time for me to forget those words… I’m sorry if my words are hurting you but it will take some time’
He holds me,’ take you time babe… you’re very beautiful Kate inside out … once again I’m sorry’
I just nodded, then I fall in sleep.
I woke next morning with swollen eyes and tired body … I saw Alex was still sleeping … I take a quick shower then went to girl’s room… I must pull myself together for the girls … especially today is Aria’s birthday I want her to be happy … so I quietly wake Emma. … she was rubbing her eyes ‘ good morning mama’
I replied ‘ good morning princess… its time’
She excitedly stands up and we wake Aria
Emma said ‘ OK 1 2 3 starts’
Then we both said ‘Happy birthday Aria… Happy birthday to you’
Aria confusingly opens her eyes n when she saw what we are saying
She giggled,’ mama… it’s my birthday…’
I kissed her,’ yeah baby it’s your birthday…. now we must get up… have breakfast then we have a bath … and in the noon the party is going to start’
But my girls excitedly went to bathroom to brush their teeth and followed me into the kitchen
I was making breakfast when I felt Alex presence… he said good morning … I replied …. Emma said ‘ good morning daddy ‘
He smiled at her ‘ good morning princess’
Aria shyly said ‘ good morning daddy’
He looked at her and for the first time I saw a slight smile in his face ‘ good morning’
Aria smiled big … I was putting breakfast in their plates then went back to kitchen to bring coffee … I feel hands in waist … I sigh … it was Alex … I wish he stop touching me because it makes me forget how much he hurts me… Alex said ‘ hi… you OK ‘ he touched my face
‘ Yeah, I’m fine… just little tired’
He remorseful face said it all why I’m tired… ‘ after breakfast lie down and have a rest OK’
‘ I can’t… in the afternoon its Aria birthday party…. do you forget?’
He looked uncomfortable,’ shit … it went out of my mind… yes party… don’t overdo it OK… take some extra help … I don’t want you to get tired’
‘I’m fine Alex… I will take some pain killer … I will be fine be then’
I was going to leave the kitchen when he stops me ‘ Kate … I don’t want to annoy you do you really forgive me? This guilt is killing me please tell me we are all right … you still with me, OK?’
I found Alex to be disturbed which makes my stupid heart to be uneasy ‘ yes, I forgive you… we are fine for now… just never say those words again’
He sighs in relive ‘ of course babe… thank you so much… ‘ he kissed me passionately…
I stopped him’ the kids are at the table we should be going’
He smiles, we went to have breakfast
Emma said ‘ daddy… you didn’t wish Aria’
Alex looked uncomfortable but he said ‘ happen birthday Aria’
Aria beamed with happiness ‘ thank you daddy’
Then with that my heart melts a little.
(Arias Birthday party)
Everything was going great… Aria was enjoying her birthday party … sorry her butterfly birthday party …. she is enjoying it ….
Everyone was having fun… Alex’s father was holding Aria, and he was laughing at something she said…. my parents cannot come become mom has having a headache …. honestly speaking I do not even try to insist them to come… the way they act around Aria is very hurtful to her…. it was a cake cutting time… and I have no idea where Alex is… I went inside the house to see where he is…
I found Alex in his office… yelling at someone in phone… when he saw me, he says he will talk later to whom he is talking
I said ‘ everything is, OK?
He replied ‘ yes…. some staff forget to email some crucial details about the upcoming deal we had with a new company that we are going to take over…. now I must be gone for immediate meeting they had arranged tonight’
I said ‘ but Alex what about Aria… I mean her party… Everyone is down there it looks very suspicious that why her father is not in her party…. ‘
He remorselessly replied ‘ I know Kate, but this thing has kept me up ‘
I replied, ‘ can you at least stay for cake cutting?’
He says ‘ yeah I can… but for half an hour because I have to get to ready for this meeting’
I nodded but he stopped me ‘ hey stop why you are running away from me… I have some time to tell how my wife looked extremely beautiful ‘
I blushed … I was wearing Alex’s favourite colour a vibrant blue dress
He said ‘ this is my favourite. … and when you make your hair like this, it makes me want to do some things with you ‘
He kissed my neck… I replied ‘ Alex please… not now all the people are waiting’
I smiled ‘ OK but now we have to go’
Alex was standing rigidly when we both hold Aria’s hand to cut the cake…. it was for show otherwise Alex would never touch her … Aria was happy that her daddy is cutting cake with her …
Alex was extremely uncomfortable and tense that I can feel some of the people can also feel it…
Aria said ‘ mama my gifts’
Everyone laughed at her cute excitement… but when I saw Alex’s face …. he looked shocked …. I can clearly see why he is shocked because he forgets to bring her birthday gift … and I feel anger and sadness at same time …. why cannot he bring something it is obvious her birthday and you must give a gift ….
Aria was so excited to know what her daddy has brought for her… I just do not want to break her heart …
I said, ‘ daddy and me both get a beautiful butterfly tricycle….’
Aria looked confused ‘ but you both brought Emma, different gifts ion her birthday … then I should get gifts from both of you’
Alex looked at me like he is thankful but also shameful for what he did
I replied ‘ baby what I told you about gifts…. never looked for gifts quantity or who brought it for you… looks at the person’s love and affection behind that’
She nodded… but Alex’s parents have caught up to the tension ‘ well Aria don’t you want to see our present’
And with that her smile was back
Alex drags me to a corner ‘ thank you so much Kate for what you did … you just save me for making myself fool in front of people…’
He stops when he saw my facial expression… he was worried about what people think but not a little child feeling
He said ‘ it came out in a wrong way I am sorry… I feel terrible that I did not bring anything but honestly speaking I do not know what she really like but still I am sorry ‘
I replied ‘ I understand…. I did save you because I know how you feel about social standing … now let us go people are waiting ‘
I turned and come face to face with Alex’s cousin Helen who clearly hate me for no reason … she gives me a sarcastic smile like she knows what she saw
She replied ‘ oh Kate I want to thank you again for inviting me ‘
Which I did not but, Alex did since she has moved here in past few weeks…
I replied ‘ no problem… I hope your kids are enjoying ‘
She replied ‘ oh they are thrilled… but seriously last time I was very mean to you…. but what had Alex told me about your baby thing, so I naturally lashed out on you…’
I do not know why she is mentioning the past … luckily Alex came ‘ Helen whatever is in the past stays in the past… and I was wrong before… Kate is, a wonderful wife and mother … so do not remember those worse moments’
Alex is defending me in the public for the first time, I am truly touched … maybe it’s because yesterday’s event hit us both in separate way… for me knowing to take stand … and for Alex finally understanding me
She looked embarrassed ‘ yes sure yes, I mean that is what I want … no hard feelings’
All the guest was gone… and Alex was gone to his meeting… I was cleaning up some stuff … when I heard voices of girls from another room…. I picked up the camera to upload today pictures in laptop… but first girls should be in bed.
Alex
Thank God the meeting went well… Shawn was there as my legal advisor
I said ‘ thanks man for catching up in this time… I know having a baby and all can be tough’
Shawn and Rachel have finally got married two years ago, now they are blessed with a baby boy
He laughed ‘ tell me about it… forget this… will you tell me a truth … you forget about Aria gifts’
I said ‘ what is with you… why you always bring up Aria and Kate … I arranged a party for her is not that enough ‘
He looked at me and said ‘ well I love Aria like my daughter she is so innocent and beautiful to be treated like this, and secondly it was Kate who was arranging and entertaining everyone at the party … you were just standing there like a stranger’
I know what he is saying is right, but I do not want to discuss it any further… I tiredly said ‘ Shawn please drop it I’m already tired and you know things are complicated’
He said ‘ you are making it complicated otherwise it would not be like this ‘
… After getting inside the house … I found that everyone might have been gone to sleep… it is good I do not want to face anyone with my confused feelings about everything… I already feel like shit when little Aria was looking so excitedly that what I brought for her … if Kate has not cover for me things might get more difficult for me… with that I remember I never brought anything for Aria… not even when I gone to office trips at all
I remember a moment when I went to Dubia and Emma. has told me to bring something for her from there… I saw an incredibly beautiful doll with other accessories …
When I came back home from Dubai … and showed Emma. the doll … her eyes were wide open ‘ Daddy this is so beautiful doll in the world… it so pretty … thank you so much … I love you’
I smiled ‘ I love you too… when I saw this doll, I think about you… look she got your light blonde hair ‘
My smile faded when I saw Aria standing behind the sofa looking longingly at the doll Emma. was holding like she also wants to have this doll’
Shit… I forget about her… I could have brought two dolls … this will make an awkward situation and a guilty one for me…
Emma must have seen Aria ‘ hey aria look daddy brought this doll for me… daddy what you brought for Aria… she wanted doll too ‘
I looked at Kate who must have known but she does not know what to say
She said ‘ OK girls daddy is tired so time to bed’
Aria said softly ‘ but mama me want to see the doll daddy get for me’
I feel terribly guilty … I replied ‘ Aria I forgotten to bring anything for you sorry… but Emma. has called me to bring something that is why it was on my mind… but you can take money from me then you can buy anything you want’
I know what a jerk thing to say… Aria eyes tears up, she run to her room… Kate goes after her
I came back from my memory land… and realized that I have been hurting that innocent soul so many times…
I was so tired and guilty that all I wanted was to lie down with Kate
I enter the bedroom surprisingly Kate was awake …. she was working in her laptop…. suddenly Kate turns and says ‘ Alex …’
I replied, ‘ hey babe… you’re awake?’
she said ‘ yeah, I was putting today’s party picture in the laptop, and I was also waiting for you… so how was the meeting? ‘
I replied ‘ it went really well actually I might crack the biggest deal of the company’
She smiled ‘ I’m really happy for you’
I replied ‘ let me change then we both watch the pictures together’
She replied, ‘ you want to see them?’
I said, ‘ yeah any problem?’
She shakes her head, she says no… I changed my clothes then sit with Kate on the bed ‘ so what we are looking at’
Kate start flipping pictures by pictures some were the party Decoration pictures… some were of Emma. posing in her naughty expression … some were of Aria laughed running … smiling … Kate smile’s… Aria was very pretty child her blues eyes were full of love and happiness at that moment … I said ‘ she got your smile’
Kate looked at Aria pictures ‘ yeah I think she only has that part of me’
I replied ‘ no she got your goodness, your kindness too’
Kate eyes were filled with tears … I said these things for the first-time loud and clear to Kate about Aria
She replied ‘ Thank you ‘
Then we resume watching other pictures…
some were of Kate, candid ones and there was a picture of me and Kate standing together I stopped and stare at that it was extremely beautiful … her hair was softly flying in air, and she has a slight smile which turns me on …. I do not know for how long I stare at that picture then
Kate said ‘ OK now you’re creeping me out … you’re saying nothing but staring at my picture’
I laughed ‘ cause I’m speechless this is so beautiful that I have no words to describe, and I think this should be frame …’
Kate was flushing then she said ‘ no need it’s not that good… ‘
I replied ‘ no its perfect… I was thinking to make a frame for it as a portrait and that I am going to put it in living lounge so everyone can see’
Kate gives me a stunned expression; I am confused why… then I realized what I said… its Emily picture in the living lounge… I feel that I have stopped breathing, how can I forget about that.