After 2 years
Kate
‘ Daddy why can’t I ride the Bella fast’ Emma fussed
Bella is her pony which is not a pony anymore but turns into a beautiful horse.
Alex told her kindly’ baby you know you can’t … I don’t want you to get hurt and secondly when you are riding alone, you’re going to ride under this speed’
‘ Daddy I’m 5 I’m big girl… I’m an expert now’.
I just laughed at her bossy response.
Yes, my beautiful Emma turned five and we had a beautiful big frozen birthday theme party. My little miss was treated as a princess and she got so many gifts that her room was crowded, especially because my parents bought her everything, she told them a month ago what she wanted. And which turns out to be a lot of presents.
Alex and I decided to buy her iPad but only for educational purposes and I decided to give her Elsa costume which obviously she wears.
It was a wonderful day. A day full of laughter and happiness.
But then My gaze falls on my little Aria. Who was busy colouring her butterflies.
My heartache for her was so bad that I felt so worthless and useless.
On Emma’s birthday my little Aria was ignored terribly that day and she was standing alone in the back looking confused and sad.
Alex was holding Emma and cherishing her with love and all her wishes but when Aria came closer to him. He became distant and without looking at her he walked away.
Some might say a two and half year old might not feel anything, but my Aria is a sensitive child who can sense her daddy’s ignorance. That’s why she is mostly quiet around Alex.
As a mother I’m divided between my responsibility and my love for both my daughters.
That’s why I decided to cheer Aria on and involve her as much as I can. Emma picked Aria’s hands and told her that they will open gifts together. Emma and Aria can’t live a single moment without each other. Just like me and Emily used to be.
But then something happens during the gift opening.
Aria by mistake did something that made my parents and Alex lashed at her.
It’s almost the end of the party. Alex and My parents were in the living room, and we were entertaining them then I heard Emma crying. She came to the living room with her wet dress and Aria following her with her head down.
Everyone became alert and I picked Emma and asked, ‘ what’s wrong baby?’
She sobbed and said, ‘ Aria dropped juice in my dress and on my new gifts… Everything is ruined… it was my favourite.’
Before I can say anything, my mom said to Aria ‘ hey you girl… are you so jealous of your sister that you ruined her dress and her gifts’ Aria looked scared when my mom said loudly
Aria ran and hugged my leg
I asked ‘ Aria OK baby tell what you did… it’s OK nothing to worry
I speak to her softly, but my father cut me and said ‘ you should have taught her some manners’
Aria was becoming more scared, and she hide her face behind my back
Alex’s mom says ‘ it’s OK everyone … you know kids… when they play, they get naughty… but our little Aria won’t do this … it was a mistake … isn’t my baby’
Aria nodded and said ‘ yes grandma… me was holding the glass… but it was so heavy that it fell… it was mistake ‘she said her in baby voice
Emma was crying and said ‘I told her it’s heavy, but she doesn’t listen… and now it’s ruined… my dress’
My stepmother instigates Alex ‘ Look at this Alex. My Emily’s daughter big day is spoiled because of this brat. Can’t you say anything to her? ‘ And wiped her tears
Alex was quite all the time but when he saw how Emma was crying her angrily said to Aria
‘ You should probably listen to your big sister… now look what have you done… and stop hiding behind your mother’s back … come front and say sorry to Emma and say you won’t touch her things unless and until she gives you permission … now say sorry’
Alex was now looking at Aria with an angry face. Aria starts shaking with fear. she has never seen Alex this angry maybe Alex always avoids her that why
Alex’s mom and I said together ‘ ALEX.’
He looked us broodingly …. Aria come front and say with trembling lips and tears falling in her face … ‘ I’m sorry… I do not touch Emma. toys any more… ‘
Looking at my baby crying … it broke my heart …. I picked her and said ‘ it’s OK baby … don’t cry’
Emma also felt the tension and she became sad too and said ‘ yeah its fine Aria … please don’t cry ‘
Then my mother said ‘ Looked at my Emily daughter she is so forgiving unlike your daughter who ruins everything’
I can’t control myself and said ‘ no mom you are wrong… and we are making a big deal of it … a two and a half year doesn’t think like that. so please, because of me don’t say stuff in front of the kids’
I looked at Aria sad blue eyes and took her to the room. She was still shivering and was crying and then she said something which made me speechless ‘ ‘mama no one loves me. Daddy no love me’
And those words still haunt me.
I came back from my memory lane when I heard the sound of a horse paddle. I saw Alex was now sitting with Emma and riding.
He passed me a puzzled look about why I’m looking so distraught. But I shake my head and tell myself everything’s OK.
I stroked Aria’s head who was silently looking at Emma and Alex with strange longing.
I can’t see her like this anymore.
‘Hey sweetie you are so good at colouring. You made this right?
Aria passes me her angelic smile and nodded excitedly
She became obsessed with butterflies when I took her to the butterfly garden but then we heard Alex ‘s and Emma laughing at something and spending some quality time which my Aria will never get even if she gets some idea of it.
After that day Aria becomes little hesitant of Alex whenever he is around, she looks down and always stay with me… that Mommy going to save her from father’s anger but I know she loves her daddy because whenever he come from office she always run to living room to greet him but Alex never hug her or even look at her. A little girl should not feel such things like I have been feeling all this in my life
I playfully touched her hair and wanted to cheer her ‘Mama will take you to your butterfly garden tomorrow morning’
Her eyes got big with excitement and smiled big ‘Oh yessss…. can have a butterfly shoes mama?’
I softly laughed ‘ of course baby and it will also go with your new frock too’
Emma chose the moment and said ‘ Daddy I’m tired… need break’
Alex replied ‘ As you say my highness’
Emma giggled and ran to me. I kissed her flushed cheeks. And let her sit on my lap.
Alex was taking the horse to the stable, but Emma’s next words stopped hum
‘ Daddy, can you give Aria a ride… she gets scared … but if you teach her how to ride then she will be an expert like me… right Aria …’
Aria innocently looked at Alex but being shy she whispered ‘I want too’…. like she is excepting Alex will say yes… but I’m afraid of Alex answer…
Alex looked uncomfortable and said’ maybe another time…. daddy is, also tired ‘
Emma fussed ‘ Daddy… you never play with Aria … she always gets sad about it, and I don’t like it’
Alex and I give Aria a stunned expression.
Aria never told me about this.
I know Alex will never ride with Aria, so I try to change the topic so that Aria don’t feel more.
I said’ OK everyone has some snacks first’
Emma gives a pout and Alex sits next to me.
Aria was not eating her sandwich and I saw her try to run in the garden.
I said ‘ Aria… first you finish this then you go… ‘
Aria gave me pout ‘ mama a butterfly… please me go’
I smiled ‘ baby it’s gone now… where are you going to find it? ‘
Aria ‘ no me go and find’
Alex replied ‘ Aria listen to your mother ‘
When Alex said Aria became alert and sat quietly with me … in order to control your child’s behaviour, parents can be a little strict and demanding…. but Alex was harsh when he said those words.
Aria said ‘ Sorry daddy’
I saw guilt in Alex’s eyes… now he feels bad…. great!
Emma broke the moment and said ‘ mama daddy Aria’s birthday is next week. Can we have her party now… we haven’t celebrated Aria’s birthday yet for the past two years…. ‘
For the past two years Aria birthday was gone like a normal day… on her first birthday I told Alex that we can arrange small get together with friends and family
But Alex’s response was ‘ why even bother no one even a few weeks after it was Emma’s birthday…. I don’t want to disturb Emma’s school routine …. I have a lot of work in office… secondly, she is one she doesn’t even care if she had a party or not…’
I flinched …. Alex was uninterested in Aria life… I can’t control my tears, but Alex might have saw my face and then he says in guilty voice ‘ Kate (he sighs) I’m sorry that was harsh… but really, I’m busy and your mother is not well too so … why don’t you take girls their favourite. place … in this way birthday will be celebrated’
I slowly nodded still little taken back with his action ‘hmm OK’
And on the next birthday I really don’t even tired… Alex went on an office trip… Alex’s parents came with cake and gifts and when they saw there was no indication of any birthday party, they realized it was Alex’s lack of interest …
I came back from my memories when I heard Aria’s voice
Aria looked so happy ‘ yes ME want a party… butterfly party… with butterfly cake.’
Emma and Aria became so excited that I looked so happy to them…
Emma said ‘ Daddy you have to be there… no more work OK’
Alex said ‘ we will see’
Alex’s cold reply was enough to understand that he has no interest in Aria’s birthday…. I hurt for my child… day by day Aria is becoming a victim of Alex’s indifference and inferiority complex…. All my life I have been like this. I don’t want this for my Aria too.
And I don’t know for how long I can bear this.
Aria pulled my shirt and said quietly in her baby voice ‘ mama … daddy tell… me will be nice …. me not touch Emma. toys … but please me want butterfly party… with daddy … please’
Those desperate words coming out of Aria’s mouth moist my eyes… shit what’s happening with my child, and she still remembers Alex words also hurt me a lot
. Looking at Alex face make me realized he also heard those words because he looks so tense and emotional, but he didn’t say a word
I said to Aria ‘ baby we will talk later… OK my love’
I stand and say ‘ come on Emma. … its bath time … and it is getting cold so we should go inside’
Emma ran to me and held my hand…. but Aria was not in the mood of going… She loves gardens and fresh air…
Aria said ‘ can me… I stay please… I want to take Bella home and give food’
One of her routines
Emma said ‘ you are so scared of her ridding but still you go every day to feed her’
Aria pout ‘ she’s botiful… I will ride one day’
Emma said ‘ Daddy why don’t you go with Aria … she will show you the Bella house’
Aria hesitantly but hopefully looked at Alex
Alex replied ‘ One of the people in charge of the stable will take her’
Aria faced fall and she looked down
I cheerfully said ‘ how about we girls go and take Bella in her house and feed her’
Both my girls excitedly say yes and run
I was going when Alex picked my wrist and kissed me hard… his kisses was so emotional and passionate that I get lost in it and try to understand its inner meaning
Alex removed his lips and we both breaths heavily
I said, ‘ what’s that for?’
He simply replied with sad smile
‘ For being so you and bearing me’
I give him a sad smile too ‘Yeah I’m trying to bear all of this’
He looked conflicted but I walk away before he says anything.
Alex
I was looking at my computer screen, but my mind was going again and again towards Aria and her beautiful sad blue eyes identical to mine … fuck… those words she innocently said to Kate breaks me… she still remembers those words that I harshly told her in Emma birthday regarding touching Emma. toys … it totally wants to kill me… A child should not feel this but fuck I’m bastard who is bound with promises and selfishly don’t want to get hurt again.
I was already feeling like a cruel arsehole. when I lashed out at Aria on Emma’s birthday… I should have ignored those petty kids issues like my mom said but when I saw Emma in tears … My mind takes back to Emily that how much disappointed she will be in how my Emma is feeling so low… but now I realized everyone was supporting Emma and degrading Aria badly who doesn’t deserve such treatment, but I must do this otherwise she will get attached and hurt more…. I know God will never forget things I’m doing with her and Kate … I deserve hell for it but I’m helpless.
I went to check outside where’s everyone is, I saw Emma was watching cartoons… I went to Emma. room hopefully Kate will be there…. since both girls are sharing same bedroom… I went to room when I heard take soft voice ‘hey baby don’t be sad … you will get your butterfly cake and gifts …. even we don’t have a big birthday party, but we can celebrate. You me and Emma, will have blast. I promise’ Kate animated said
Aria pout and said ‘But I want a big birthday party just like Emma. Maybe daddy be happy with me. He is always happy when we had a party.
I took a step back in shock. Fuck! She notices everything
Kate voice wobbles a little like she is controlling herself ‘oh… baby…. Of course, he will be happy, but I told you parties don’t matter people matters you remember’
Aria bounded on the bed oblivious to the fact that her innocent was breaking me and Kate
She absently nodded’ that birthday party not important but people love for you is’
Kate happily said ‘ yes… everyone loves you me … Emma. your grandma grand pa… Martha… n Bella too… so many people love you… so what if we don’t have a party no biggie but we have these people in our life’
Aria sadly said’ but I don’t have daddy … daddy don’t love me… so he doesn’t come to my birthdays…’
I heard Kate gasping, and I held the wall for support … fuck… I felt someone punched me in my guts
Kate said ‘ ARIA… who says that he doesn’t loves you a lot… don’t say that again otherwise it will hurt me and daddy too… he is just so busy and look he give you a beautiful room this home and other thing…. if he doesn’t love you why he gives it to you’
Kate tries to explain her unimportant things… of course these things don’t define love… but Kate is different so always try to find good in other people no matter how many times people have hurt her.
Aria nodded and replied ‘ hmm yeah… so he loves me’
I couldn’t listen more and went into the kitchen.
After dinner I was still lost in my thoughts, and I barely eaten five bites … Kate asked if I didn’t like the dinner … I said its particularly good just not hungry… just nodded but I saw she was little tense.
Kate was in the kitchen making coffee and doing other chores … I went to girls’ room where Emma and Aria were playing and giggling … when they saw me
I said ‘OK time to bed… tomorrow is school so its sleeping time’
I put Emma in bed and kissed her forehead and say ‘ good night baby girl’
Emma yawned ‘ night night daddy’
When I turned, I said Aria was looking at me behind her blanket … like she was expecting I will kiss her forehead and say good night just I did with Emma.
I wanted to but I stopped and said ‘ go to sleep Aria’
Her beautiful eyes become sad ‘ good night daddy’
And I feel like biggest loser in the world
Kate comes after five minutes later said ‘hi … you are fine? you look quite tense?
I replied ‘ yeah just little tired of this workload ‘
She replied ‘ you just cut some workload… forget it I’m going to give you back massage and you’re going to feel so good’
I smirk ‘ yeah I always feel good when you touch me’
Kate blushed and playfully slapped my shoulder ‘ you are so bad now relax so I can give you a massage’
I shake my head ‘ no babe… you are tired too its fine’
She said ‘ I said I will give you a one and you are getting a one’
I love when she gets this bossy, and it turns me on.
Kate started massaging my back and shoulders, I suddenly felt so light and less tense… Kate’s sweet fragrance was teasing me, her body touching my back doing some things …. I couldn’t control myself anymore. I turned and picked up Kate’s body, placed her on bed … then I passionately kissed her lips … neck… breast and every part of her body… she was moaning loudly, it was driving me crazy… I didn’t waste a second and undress both of us, then I enter Kate … we both moan together with our connection … she said, ‘ and I thought you were tired but Mr Alex you look very fresh and, in a hurry,’
I thrusts hard in her, she moans again loudly I replied ‘ you … are bad girl… who does terrible things to me… shit Kate …. can you feel that when you do this it drives me crazy’
We both climax together… she was lying in my chest… we were both quiet and tired with our intense love making… but still the question of Aria birthday was nagging in my mind I said ‘ you can arrange a birthday party ‘
She suddenly looked at my face ‘really…. I mean you are going to be there?’
I replied ‘ don’t look so hopeful but I will try hopefully the workload will be lessen by this, week…. called anyone you want ‘
She kissed my cheeks ‘ Thank you Alex, that will mean the world to her…’
I didn’t say anything, just nodded and kissed her.
Kate proves to be a perfect companion. This is the least I can do for her.