Kate:
Rachel was gone even mother was gone to … it was my father who has met his old business representative and stopped for a long chat … now he was in Emma’s room saying goodbye
I said ‘ Daddy do you want to have a cup of coffee ‘
He looked uncomfortable ‘ no I think I shall go now… say bye to Alex from my side’
I just nodded and picked up his coat then give it to him… then all of a sudden Martha came with worried expression ‘ Kate… oh god take… Aria is burning and she is so dizzy … we have to take her to the doctor’
When Martha said Aria I didn’t stop for a moment and run to my baby… when I hold her she was burning …. I started crying ‘ my baby… oh god… Martha bring my car keys’
I hold Aria and run to my car but my father stopped me ‘ I will take you to the hospital… your not in a position to take her … I will stay with you’
I just nodded and sat in daddies car to go to the hospital
The doctor checked Aria ” they have to keep her over night to control her temperature and check her vitals… a small baby having this kind of trouble is too much for me.
I was sitting in the waiting area… when my father sit with me he give me coffee… I can only take two sips but my mind was going to Aria… I started sobbing quietly …. I can’t lose her… she is my everything…. what kind of mother I’m … my baby has been neglected and unloved by her father and now I also neglected her.. I was now fully crying … then my father awkwardly put his hand on my shoulder… it’s then I realized that for the first time in my life my father was supporting me… I can’t control myself and hug my father for the first time… he was still but I don’t care … I said ‘ Thank you so much daddy …. I can’t tell you how scared I am …. im so happy you are here’
He just stands still and said ‘ its nothing…. hmm… you should probably called Alex’
Alex… shit …. I don’t even realized that in all this I forgot to inform Alex…. I picked my phone… but I stop when I start recalling all those events when he stated he is not interested in Aria…
I replied ‘ Daddy… Alex is busy, his time will be wasted here’
Father looked annoyed ‘ his child is in hospital and he can’t leave his work? ‘
I replied ‘ Daddy you of all people should know that when life gives you something unwanted…. then you don’t care for that thing…. and in this case Aria is unwanted’
Daddy looked embarrassed…
I said’ Daddy you should go… mom will be waiting for you…. I’m here for Aria’
He said’ You want me to leave you alone… especially in this time’
I replied ‘ I’m always alone daddy…. but still thank you for your support I will never forget that’ I said with a smile
He said ‘ I will stay till doctor checked her’
After few minutes my phone rings it was Alex… I picked up ‘ Hello Alex’
He said ‘ what the hell Kate…. where are you I’m here worried sick…. how can you leave Emma alone…. I won’t even know it was Martha who told me’
He was angry I left Emma alone, but not that Aria is sick and in the hospital
I replied ‘ then Martha surely informed you why I left Emma alone and why I had to hurriedly leave the house….. Alex…. (I can’t control my tears’) Alex, Aria is in hospital … she was burning up with a fever …. doctors said they have keep her in hospital for a night… so yeah I can’t tell you anything because I’m worried sick for my baby’
He was silent for a moment ‘ shit Kate… how is she… fuck I’m coming don’t worry… I’m coming’
Thenhe hanges up the phone…
Father phone was ringing again and again
He was ignoring it
I said ‘ Daddy… you should go … mom might be worried why you are not home… Alex is coming so don’t worry’
He looked uncomfortable to leave me… but I found that to be so comforting that he felt something for me… but mom is, alone so insisted him more… he said OK
Alex
When I reached hospital … I saw Kate sitting quietly she was looking so tired … I reached her and said ‘ Kate’
She tiredly looked ‘ Alex …. where’s Emma’
I replied ‘ I left her with Martha’
She just nodded… I said ” hows … I mean what doctor says’
She replied ‘ they say she is OK…. her temperature is under control… they are keeping her overnight to check if she gets any reaction or not… may be they are going to discharged her in the morning’
My heart was hurting …. a little body of Aria has to go through so much… god let her be okay …. even if I can’t love her I still want her to be OK and happy the way she is always…. the flashes of Aria came in my mind when she try to throw her body towards me in the morning… this guilt is going to kill me one day
I said ‘ Kate I’m so sorry… you know I over reacted… when Martha told me…. I become worried… and you know when I try to stay compose then I say something which I don’t meant…. I’m not only talking about the phone… I’m sorry I say shity things at Emma’s party… I just become possessive about you all of a sudden …. so I’m sorry’
Kate looked at me with tears in her eyes ‘ Alex its … just forget it … I just want everything go back to normal the way it was… I’m so tired… uff I know your sorry but I also know you will react this way again… I want for god stop testing me more… I can’t control it .’
Looking at Kate crying so bad … I hugged her I kissed her forehead … ‘ its OK Kate…. let it out… just let it out…. I’m there for you… i know I’m an arsehole…. I wished you have told me in time then I could have been there for you … why didn’t you tell me Kate?’
She replied ‘ I don’t want to disturb you… and secondly you have told me enough times, that you don’t want anything to do with Aria…. so I thought its will only waste your time’
I felt that wmy heart had … fuck….. I know I do things which no one deserve but I can’t be that insensitive, I realized that today..
I hold Kate face ‘ Kate …. listen to me …. OK I’m an insensitive bastard , I have always hurt you… I know I said I can’t loved Aria…. but she’s a child … I might care for her… I might let her down in the future …. not give her that kind of attention and love a father should give her to …. nor never get closed to her …. but in a, difficult time I’m going to stand for her as long as I can…’
Kate sobbed ‘ why can’t you try to love her once… she loves you and I can tell you that… then why can’t ‘
I replied softly but firmly ‘ because I can’t Kate … I can’t fucking do that…. you know Emily loved Emma., so much that sometimes she never let her have me …. even when she start working she put her in daycare that provides 24/7 information what and where is Emma…. she let me promised her one of the days that if something happens to her I have to loved Emma, more than anything in this world… nor I can’t for one minute neglect her nor give priority to someone else…. I’m just made that promised to myself after Emliy’s death that no one can take place Emma nor I will make Emma feel neglected…. I know what im doing is heartless and cruel but I’m just fulfilling the promise of my dead wife and I’m bound’
Kate looked at me with a devastated expression ‘ I know you loved Emily more than anything, Emma is my life too I also make sure to never neglect her not because of any promises but because she is my daughter, I loved her a lot but I hope one day you understand no one takes anyone place … cause God expand your heart for someone you love more but don’t worry me and Aria will never come between your promises’
I digested those words and sigh heavily.
Kate
Doctors said ‘ oh look at you pretty girl you have give a mini heart attack to your Mommy yesterday but now you’re fine and well to go’home
Aria grasps her blanket , she chews that and start shaking her hand and feet and bubbling in her baby language ‘ ehh.. ya oh’
Alex and I are standing together the Doctor said ‘ she is fine… thank god her fever is gone … like I said she might be teething and because of unusual weather she gets cold but she is fine now… this the prescription of the medicines that you have give her for two weeks…. ‘
I replied ‘ Thank you so much doctor…’
She just smiled ‘ don’t worry Kate kids her age usually gets those bumps and dumps but they get alright quickly…. Kate what I suggest to you is take a long nap you look so tired …. Alex this is your duty’
Alex replied ‘ Don’t worry after this we are going home directly, she will rest that’s my promised’
After an hour Aria was sleeping in her car booster seat, I was also getting dizzy with tiredness…. but I have to buy some stuff from the pharmacy… I said to Alex ‘ Alex can you stop by at near pharmacy I really need to buy some stuff and medicine…’
Alex replied ‘ yeah sure…. give me the prescription I will buy it’
I said ‘ you don’t have to I will buy it’
Alex replied ‘ Kate I’m your husband and whatever you need you will tell me directly’
I just half smiled men ande their egos
He stopped at pharmacy ‘ OK this is the list ‘
I nodded then I remembered ‘ can you buy those fruits yogurt she really like those’
Alex looked at Aria and some strange expression was passed in his eyes he just nodded.
I was waiting in the car then I realized I never told father about Aria… so I text him that Aria is fine and we are going home… no reply came and I wasn’t expecting one but I really appreciate but my father did….. Alex came back with medicine and a shopping bag filledwith multiple fruit yogurt ….
He looked at me ‘ I brought every flavour I don’t know what she likes so..’
I just smiled at his gesture… may be he some how cares …