Carter shifted a breath later. As soon as he had two legs under him, he came toward me. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against him. I was too surprised to argue. At least, at first. Carter and I were not affectionate despite our lifelong friendship. In fact, the older we got, the more it seemed we were at odds with each other, always snapping and bickering.
I hugged him back, though not nearly as tight as he did. He pulled away to look down at me and stroked my hair. His eyes roamed over me. My shoulder, my neck, my arms. He pressed his hand to the place my flesh had been torn moments ago, as if to assure himself it was really healed. When our eyes met again, there was something else besides the worry and guilt for hurting me. I couldn’t name it, but my breath caught at the intensity. It wasn’t an expression he’d ever used on me before.
“Are you okay?” he asked. His voice dropped to a deep timbre, rumbling through his chest. I could feel the words in my arms wrapped around his body.
“I’m fine, Carter.”
My words, or the tone, seemed to remind him how strange it was for him to be holding me this way. He dropped his hands like he’d been burned and backed away.
“I’m sorry, Regan. I really am. I didn’t see you shift and I thought we were still—” He exhaled. “I’m sorry.”
I nodded, feeling empty in light of his apology. Or maybe it had to do with his hands letting me go. I shook that idea away as ridiculous. Carter was my friend, nothing more. “It’s fine.” The words came out sharper than I’d intended. Carter winced.
“Well. Good.” He walked a few yards away and grabbed a water bottle from the pile at Bevin’s feet.
I sighed. Why was it so much easier to apologize when we were wolves? Why was it so much easier for me to accept?
Carter chugged half the bottle and held it out toward me. I took it but didn’t drink. I was still watching him, trying to think of something to say that didn’t make me feel mean—or weird.
“I know it was an accident, Carter.” Something flashed across his face. Pain. Regret. More worry. “But I’m fine now. See?” I held my arm out and gestured to my shoulder. The wound was gone. All that remained was a large stain of dried blood. My shirt was ruined.
“Yeah, I see. Drink some water.”
His tone was rough, like mine, all trace of emotion and concern removed. I didn’t have it in me to argue so I took a few gulps from the water bottle.
I wouldn’t admit it to him, but the bite had shaken me up. If I hadn’t been able to shift I wouldn’t have made it. For some reason, all I could think about was the competition. My fight with Charlie. I’d heard stories of pack fights, alphas getting challenged. The winner was always clear in those—because the loser didn’t make it. If we were injured too badly, even our wolf bodies sometimes couldn’t heal. If that happened to Charlie …
I wasn’t going to think about that. I was skilled in combat. I’d have to find a way to take her down without fatally injuring her.
“You okay?” Carter was staring at me. He’d gotten close again. His broad chest and high shoulders blocked my view of anything but him. His closeness, the memory of his arms around me, made me uncomfortable.
“We should get back.” Instead of going around him, and risking further contact, I turned on my heel and retrieved my towel. I poured some water on it and used it to wipe the dried blood off my arm. My shirt couldn’t be helped. Carter helped Bevin gather up the water and the rest of our stuff and we headed for the trail.
We walked in silence for a few minutes. Branches and leaves crackled under foot. I wondered what he was thinking. Some part of me needed to fill the silence. It should’ve been comfortable; Carter and I had grown up together. Grown into our inner werewolf together. I’d been teased by him and picked on him and there were times we’d fought like brother and sister. Against each other and against our enemies. But something had changed when Carter had hugged me just now. I just wasn’t sure what it was.
“I’m sorry you won’t be beta,” I said finally.
Carter looked over at me and I could see the surprise in his expression before his features smoothed and his mouth quirked. “Remember when we were six and you got mad at me and demanded your parents remove my dad as beta. Put your dad in instead?”
I smiled at the memory. “You jumped out at me when I was walking home through the woods. I was so embarrassed that I shifted.”
Carter laughed. “And when you shifted back, you were minus one pair of pants.”
I glared at him, indignant all over again. “You shouldn’t have laughed.”
He rubbed his arm as if the memory of my retribution still hurt. “You got me back,” he pointed out.
“Not enough justice for a six-year-old,” I said, shaking my head.
“But your mom wouldn’t bow to your demands,” he said.
“It wasn’t up to her. Pack law,” I said now, remembering her words, her face as she’d explained it all regretfully, until my chest panged.
“Husband and wife can’t work together,” Carter finished and his smile faded as he took in my expression.
A beat of silence passed. I sucked in a deep breath to get a hold on my emotions and shoved the grief away. Carter cleared his throat and shrugged. “Whatever. You and your sis are Vuks. You deserve the leadership roles.” He was working hard at keeping his voice neutral, but I could hear the strain.
Just ahead of us, Bevin was silent.
“That might be true,” I said. “Doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it too. I like knowing you have my back, Carter.”
“Even after I took a chunk out of it?” he asked, a smile ghosting his lips.
I smiled back. “Better you than that rotting vamp, Owen,” I said.
Carter’s shoulders relaxed and he rubbed his chin. “True. I still can’t get over the way he looked at your sister the other night.” He gave an exaggerated shiver. “Like he wanted to eat her.”
“And not necessarily in a vampy kind of way,” Bevin tossed over her shoulder.
I made a face. “Gross, Bev.”
Carter’s brows furrowed. “You don’t think she would…”
“No. Absolutely not.” I shook my head. “She knows better.”
“Does she?” Bev asked I opened my mouth to argue, but she cut me off. “Carter said she was still clueless about vampires up until the night of the party. We failed in our due diligence there. Have we really sat her down and explained why they’re so off limits?”
I frowned as I tried to think back over my conversations with Charlie regarding the Rossi family or vamps in general. I thought I’d made it clear, but now, remembering the words I’d used, I wasn’t sure. Bevin and Carter were silent, clearly waiting for me to say something.
“She knows enough,” I said finally.
Carter’s eyebrow lifted.
“If you say so,” Bevin said.
We were almost out of the trees. I could see the field opening up ahead of us. The fork in the road where we always split off to go our separate ways. Me up to the mansion on the hill and the two of them down to the cul-de-sac that housed the elder families.
As we trudged closer, the competition—and the need to train—weighed heavily. Then again, after what had just happened I realized the best training partner I had was Carter. No doubt he’d understand my strategy to find a way to creatively injure Charlie, a way to maim her without endangering her life. I felt a momentary pang of guilt that I would be asking him for help with the very event that would officially take away his role as pack beta, but there was a bigger picture here. Surely he would see that.
“Hey, Carter, can I talk to you for a sec?” I called as the two of them broke into the clearing and veered toward their house.
“Yeah, sure,” he said, retracing his steps to me. “What’s up?”
Bevin paused to look back at us, indecision wrinkling her features. After a second’s hesitation, she rushed back to pull me into a hug.
“Oh,” I said in surprise. Bevin wasn’t a hugger. Or maybe that was me. My arms came around her back slowly and she squeezed me tight.
“Don’t scare me like that again,” she said fiercely in my ear.
She let me go before I could think of a response and marched off, ponytail swinging.
Carter’s expression softened. “She cares about you a lot,” he said.
“Me too,” I admitted.
Awkward silence fell between us. All I could think about was how good it had felt when he’d been the one with his arms around me.
“What did you want to talk to me about?” he asked.
I cleared my throat, trying to choose the right words. “A favor, actually,” I said. “The competition with Charlie … I don’t know what they’ll ask of us but it’s safe to say one of the rounds will include some sort of combat or fight and I need—I want to find a way to win without …”
“You want to avoid hurting her,” he finished.
“Yes,” I said.
Carter nodded, complete understanding in his gaze, and I exhaled in relief. My father—or anyone else from the pack—might look at my intention as a weakness. But Carter got it. And he didn’t think less of me.
“And you want me to help you practice?” he guessed.
“Yes,” I said again, this time more uncertain than before. I gave a smile that was too much teeth. “I know it’s asking a lot after what just happened but I trust you and—”
“I’ll do it,” he said.
I blinked. “You will? Wow, that was easier than I thought.”
“I’ll always help you, Regan. Whatever you need. I’ve told you that,” he said.
“I know, I just … It’s unfair. Asking you to help me make her my beta.”
He frowned. “I don’t resent Charlie for that. Or you. None of this is your fault. Besides, it’s not like I’m losing you. Beta is just a role. There are others.”
“I …” I had no idea what to say to that. Losing me? I thought this was about beta. Not me. But the way he said it made it sound like I mattered more than just to offer him a leadership position in the pack. Like he just wanted to be near me.
I shifted, feeling weird again. When had things become so awkward with Carter? I mean … it was Carter.
“Right,” I said finally, not quite meeting his gaze just in case there was more awkward there. “Thanks. I better get back,” I added.
“Sure. Take care. I’ll see you soon,” he said.
We split off to our respective homes. It didn’t bear mentioning that none of us planned on bringing up the little mishap in the woods. Especially to my father or his. They wouldn’t be happy. Mostly with Carter, but I wasn’t going to bring that down on either of us. Carter could be a pain in the ass but he was definitely trustworthy. It really was too bad I was losing him as a beta.
The house was quiet when I entered. Dad was at the office, no doubt. Probably arguing with Sheridan some more about this blood treaty. Better her than me, I guess. At least I knew arguing was pointless. My energy was better spent elsewhere.
Upstairs, I passed by Charlie’s room on the way to mine. Brent was absent, but then, we all knew Charlie was past the point of needing a guard. She wasn’t a prisoner. She’d promised not to leave me hanging for the competition and I believed her. Whatever else I had yet to learn about her, one thing I knew was that Charlie didn’t lie.
I thought about stopping in and saying hello—I hadn’t really had time to talk to her since the party—but I decided against it. First I needed a shower and a clean shirt. No way did I want to explain myself to her and with this much blood, she was sure to ask. Besides, I still had no idea what to say. It was clear she was nothing like me. She wore primer for goodness’ sake. I didn’t even know what that was. I had less than no clue what to say to her. What did we even have in common? Besides the fact that we were both wolves. And about to fight each other.
Maybe it was best if I left the bonding time for later. When the competition was over. When I was alpha and she was beta.