Carter collapsed beside me, back on two legs, panting. Bevin ran up and practically fell on my other side, her hand clutching my good arm. She was crying, though no tears had even fallen yet. Carter looked pale as a sheet.
“Holy shit, Ray. I am so sorry,” Carter began.
I screamed again—more of a wail this time as another round of pain rocked through my torn shoulder. The sound echoed into the trees around us. A couple of birds were startled out of their nest and shot away into the forest. Carter leaned in, blood covering his hands, his expression registering horror as he stared down at me. He kept looking from my face to my shoulder like he couldn’t make up his mind.
“Sshh,” Carter said. “It’s okay. We’re here. You just need to—”
I whimpered and Bevin rounded on her brother. “What the hell were you thinking, Carter?” Bevin demanded between sobs.
“I didn’t— I mean, I jumped before I noticed she’d shifted. I’m sorry. Shit, I’m sorry.”
Carter’s voice was like a track that kept skipping on my iPod. All I heard was “shit” and maybe an apology. I took a deep breath, blinking through hot tears that leaked out in automatic response to the blinding pain.
“Carter.” My voice was a croak. A whisper. It stalled his commentary, got his attention.
“Yeah, what, Regan? What?” He was hovering, clearly terrified and at a loss.
“It hurts,” I managed.
He nodded. “Okay, all right. You need to shift. It’s the only way you’ll heal. Oh shit, I think I see exposed muscle.” He squeezed his eyes shut, like he was gathering himself, and when he opened them again, they seemed a little clearer. A little calmer, but just as afraid.
Strange. Carter was usually the calm one. Always talking me down. I blinked and swallowed, debating on saying that aloud, but talking seemed like a lot of work. I grit my teeth instead.
“Regan?” Carter prompted, calmer now but still insistent.
I looked up in to his blue eyes, lost in their stormy depths. “Yeah?”
“You have to shift. Can you do that for me?”
His voice was gentle. I focused on that, through the pain, and pressed my teeth together so hard that my jaw hurt. I kept doing it, glad for any other feeling than the one coming from my shoulder.
“I don’t know,” I said. “It’s a little hard to focus.”
His hand slid underneath my neck and he lifted so my head was propped up. Carter’s gaze flicked to my wound and his eyes widened but he didn’t comment. I probably didn’t want to know. “Please, Regan. I need you to do this,” he said.
“Okay.” I tried to nod before I thought about it. The action sent a searing pain up my neck and into my spine. I squeezed my eyes shut and bit my lip so hard I tasted blood. When the pain backed off again I struggled to clear my head and call up my wolf.
It took a moment but it came, limping and whimpering, to the forefront of my mind. I wrangled it and hung on. “Okay,” I said again. “I’m ready.”
Carter didn’t speak, and he didn’t release his hold on me. I closed my eyes and focused on my wolf and, slowly, I could feel the edges of my form begin to shimmer. The shift took longer this time. Way longer. I felt myself hovering at the in between. That elusive place where you were sort of both creatures at once, with awareness for each. It was exhilarating and powerful. Or it would have been if I could talk or move without feeling like half my body was about to explode.
Then all at once, my arms and legs lengthened then split and I slid into my wolf. Carter released me and shifted, too. I stayed still, lying on my side in the leaves, scared to move until healing took place. Carter bent over me, all wolf, and licked at the edges of the hole he’d torn in my shoulder.
I heard myself whimper, but I didn’t pull away. In our wolf forms, we could heal from almost every physical wound inflicted—except for a vampire bite. Once the venom was in our blood, that was it. But being able to heal didn’t stop our animal instincts from taking over, and I knew Carter needed to tend the wound.
I felt the magic begin to work but I remained rigid and still until I was sure the gaping hole had fully closed. I wasn’t taking any chances with that sharp, shooting pain I’d felt when I’d moved before. Inch by painful inch, the muscles reformed and the wound closed.
Slowly, feeling stiff, I flexed the muscles in my shoulder. When that was done, I wiggled my front paw. It felt normal, no pain. Only then did I roll my weight to my belly and push up onto my feet.
Carter stayed close, nudging and nuzzling me with his nose. I let him. It was his wolf’s way of apologizing and letting him do it was my way of accepting. When he’d licked my coat clean of the blood, I stepped away and turned to face him. I looked him right in the eye as I shifted back. There wouldn’t be any mistake this time.