He can’t help but to feel the frustration after he successfully revive his patient’s life although she came back on the state where he’ll wait her wake up and if she didn’t, he will have to say tothe family that the patient is in a comatose once again.
“Oh, please! Don’t die, please… Come on, you can’t die.” he spontaneously saying unto himself while reviving the life of his patient. He was relief when he felt his patient’s pulse. He composed himself before he faced one of the nurses inside the room.
“She’s stable now but we need to wait her until twenty-four hours to wake-up but if she didn’t, then we’ll announce that she’s into comatose once again.” he said. “Contact her family to watch over her.” he added then left.
He walked through the hallway, although he wants to run just to get inside the room he occupies at the hospital, he can’t. His hands were shivering while holding the doorknob and he went inside the room, he doesn’t have any energy to exert to reach the bed, his knees were shaking so after he went inside, he pulled the chair on the study table and sat there. He bowed his head into frustration; he pulled his hair to release his despair.
“You can’t die Grace, you have to remember me and smile at me again.” he spontaneously whispers unto himself.
He looked at the chair near the table and glanced. He can’t believe what he was in front of him. He saw Grace smiled at him awkwardly. He was stunned but he made himself feel it’s just his imagination and hallucination, he looked unto her straight from the eyes, he felt longing for her until a tear dropped spontaneously fall from his eyes due to he missed her so much.
“Please, don’t die. You can’t, I don’t know what to do if you left me alone here. I’ll stay half if you leave me, not on my care of responsibility of loving you.” he said unto himself. “It’ll be my first time to love you alone if you die. These hands were made to save life but if I fail, I don’t know how to face that crisis if I didn’t and if I can’t save you from death.” he added as he wiped his tears.
He heard a soft knocked then the door opened. “Doc, one of her relatives’ came.” said the nurse who knocked on his room.
He nodded without looking at the nurse then the nurse left and closed the door. He stood up while his head is still bow down; he massaged his forehead then sigh. He composed himself just to cover the frustration and despair he feels.
He saw Grace’s uncle sitting one of the chairs at the hallway with hands covering his face. He stood up in front of him and greeted him with an awkward smile.
“Her vitals are okay now yet I can’t still guarantee when she’ll wake up. We have to wait twenty-four hours but if she didn’t wake-up until the last second, I’m sorry to say she might be in a coma once again. Talking to her will be one of the great progress.” he said. Then, her uncle went inside the room of Grace and left him with a sad expression on his eyes.
He was about to go back to his room when he saw Grace on the other side of the chairs at the hallway. He sat down next to her.
“Being a doctor isn’t an easy task especially when your patient is in this kind of situation. We’ll have to wait and wait without any assurance but still hoping that our long wait wouldn’t last and good news will come.” he murmured intentionally.
“Yeah.” she answered with a sad expression on her eyes.
He looked at her with longingness but she didn’t even bother to look at him. She didn’t noticed him looking at her intimately with full of respect and love.
“All I have to do is to wait until good news would come.” she added then sigh. She stretched her legs and looked at the white wall. “I want to go back with my normal life. Hanging out with my friends, going home, bond with my family, I miss my classmates, studying. Getting tired of too much projects and assignments to be pass on, getting tired of too much work. However, getting tired for nothing? Getting tired of doing nothing? This is not fair! All I can do is to shed tears while no one can see it, while no one can wipe and dry it for me, while no one can hug me and cheer me up, while no one can be with me because I’m alone.” he heard her say with frustration.
“I also want you back. Hang out with you, ride you home, have fun with my family, I miss you, your smile. Getting tired of too much standing at the mall, getting tired of walking with you but we enjoy. I can’t do that right now. I can feel your presence but I can’t do anything to get you back. I know, it’s unfair because all I can do is to watch you while you were crying, all I can do is to look at you while you were in all of those emotions, all I can do is to glance at you while you were alone.” he said unto himself with longingness to hug her tight.
“Talking all alone without no one can hear me is really frustrating! To the fact that I can feel my life is disappearing away from my reach, my dreams are getting father and father away from me, my hopes are fading until it’ll become a bubble then just vanish, my strength is getting out of balance which carries me far away from holding on.” she added with tears on her eyes.
He can’t help but to look away, he can’t bear seeing her crying while he can’t do anything. It’s breaking his heart because he can do nothing.
“I can hear you, my love. Hold on and never give up for I will protect you and I’ll stay by your side. Never lose hope, get some strength from me to go on.” he wants to say but there’s no voice coming out unto his mouth.
“Where will I go? What should I do? Where will I start? When will this end? How can I face this? What shall I do now?” she asked spontaneously while wiping her tears.
“You can stay here with me. Wait for me to get your life back to normal. We’ll start from solving your case. It’ll end when you wake up. Face this with courage with me. Just hold on and we’ll make it through.” he whispered.
He saw her eyes brightened and made him panic for he accept the fact that maybe she’ll go and leave this earth. He saw her stood up and starts to walk.
“No, you can’t leave yet, you have to stay here a little longer and wake up for me, okay not for me, but for your family.” he said unto himself for she can’t hear her. He kept on thinking about her not to leave.
“Doc, have you talked to her relative a while ago?” asked one of the nurse who’s passing through the hallway.
“Yes. He’s at her room.” he answered.
“Doc, are you okay? You look like you’re going to pass out.” she said with worried on her face.