She can’t feel anything as if she’s paralyze, her sight became blurry as if she’s going to black-out. She started to panic when she felt the pain of pulling into somewhere before she woke-up after the accident. She tried to press the button on her hand as hard as she can but when the door is about to open it’s too late, she saw herself lying on the hospital bed while the nurses and her doctor are trying to revive her from death. She kept on screaming but no one can hear her. She can’t die yet, she have to know who’s behind that accident because she really have the feeling that it wasn’t just a simple hit and run accident but how can she solve that if she wasn’t on her body. How can she give statement of the investigators if she’ll die?
“No! I can’t die! What should I do?” she said unto herself.
“She’s stable now but we need to wait her until twenty-four hours to wake up but if she didn’t, then we’ll announce that she’s in comatose state once again.” Dr. Jimenez said. “Contact her family to watch over her.” he added then left.
She followed him. She saw him open a door from the side of the long hallway; he pulled the chair on the study table and sat there. She saw him bowed his head into frustration. He pulled his hair to release his despair. She sat down near the table and glance at him. She can see his mouth open and close as if he’s saying something but she can’t hear what he murmurs. She was stocked on her seat when he suddenly looked at her; she smiled awkwardly although she knew he can’t see her. She was stunned when she noticed him looking at her straight from the eyes. She saw his eyes; it expresses sadness and full of frustration until a tear dropped spontaneously fall from his eyes.
“Please, don’t die. You can’t, I don’t know what to do if… not on my care of responsibility…” he said unto himself. “It’ll be my first time… if you die, these hands were made to save life but if I fail, I don’t know how to face that crisis…” he added as he wipe his tears.
She felt pity for him after hearing all of those. She heard a soft knocked then the door opened, she saw a nurse coming in.
“Doc, one of her relatives came.”
She saw him nodded without looking at the person. The nurse left and closed the door. She saw him stand while his head is bowed then he massaged his forehead, she heard him sigh. As she observed him, she can’t read his facial expression all she can see is full of frustration through his eyes. She followed him until she saw her uncle on the hallway, sat on the chair, his hands covering his face. She felt pity for herself, she can’t bear seeing them like that anymore but she can do nothing but to look away and hope that she’ll wake up and get better.
She sat down far away from the chair where her uncle sat while Doctor Jimenez is discussing some of her body situation. She doesn’t want to hear any of it, not because she’s tired of hearing those things about her but she’s just afraid that she might hear some words she couldn’t take. She saw her uncle went inside her room then she looked away. She felt heavy on the lane where she was sitting. She heard heavy sighs; she looked at the way where it goes and there she saw Doctor Jimenez, sat down on the chair next to her, looking at the ceiling then he closed his eyes.
“Being a doctor isn’t an easy task especially when your patient is in this kind of situation. We’ll have to wait and wait without any assurance but still hoping that our long wait wouldn’t last and good news will come.” he murmured.
“Yeah.” she answered with a sad looking on her eyes. “All I have to do is to wait until good news will come.” she added. She made a deep sigh, stretched her legs and look at the white wall of the hospital. “I want to go back with my normal life. Hanging out with my friends, going home, bond with my family, I miss my classmates, studying. Getting tired of too much projects and assignments to be pass on, getting tired of too much work. However, getting tired for nothing? Getting tired of doing nothing? This is not fair! All I can do is to shed tears while no one can see it, while no one can wipe and dry it for me, while no one can hug me and cheer me up, while no one can be with me because I’m alone.” she said with frustration. “Talking all alone without no one can hear me is really frustrating! To the fact that I can feel my life is disappearing away from my reach, my dreams are getting farther and farther away from me, my hopes are fading until it’ll become a bubble then just vanish, my strength is getting out of balance which carries me far away from holding on.” she added. “Where will I go? What should I do? Where will I start? When will this end? How can I face this? What shall I do now?” she asked herself spontaneously. Her eyes brightened when she remember JL. She feels that he can help her. She stood up and started to walk. Although she knew that he’s already gone, at least she knew the way to get where JL lives.
She walked at the long hallway, which she can see it’s just a few steps away from the information desk. She walked and walked but she ended up walking like there’s no way she can get out of there. She stopped and rest for a while. She sighed. She closed her eyes and starts to walk few steps forward, when she open her eyes she saw herself standing near the information desk. She rushed on to run, she used the stairs but when she was at the second to the last stair, it seems everything were in slow motion. Everyone who passed by were just in the fast phase. She doesn’t understand but all her concern is why is she only the one who is in slow motion and why can’t she go out at the hospital. She felt tired, she decided to sit down on the stairs then the slow motion she felt vanished. She decided to rest for a while to gain her strength. When she gain the strength she need, she started to run again, she finally reach the main exit of the hospital but at some point, she felt like the time stopped and everything she sees are into slow motion. She felt her legs getting tight, even though she kept on trying and trying to go fort she can’t reach one step forward for her to get out on the hospital.
She stopped for a while and sigh. “I’m getting tired. I’m only one step closer out from this hospital but why can’t I get out of here? What’s wrong?” she said unto herself.
She stretched her arms and touched the door, she can reach it but why can’t she get out? She tried to step once again but still, she’s at the same ground. She tried and tried but nothing has change. She turned around to look behind her, she saw Doctor Jimenez catching his breath as if he ran into a race marathon. He wasn’t looking at her direction but she felt something weird, why is he catching his breath and why is he there? She felt something on her legs. Her legs are getting numb and she begun to panic, she can’t move even just an inch. She can hear herself pant due to panic. She faced the exit door and tried to run but nothing has changed.
Her eyes begun to brightened and closed her eyes. She calm herself and tried to her relax body. She made a deep sigh and feel her legs, the numbness she feels lessened, she concentrate more to calm herself due to nervousness she felt, her system still feel the panic, her knees were shaking and her hands were shivering. She felt her body calmed down, her knees stopped from shaking and her hands stopped from shivering. She felt her nerves were relaxed now and the numbness on her legs fade. Even though she wants to open her eyes, she kept it closed and step forward. She slowly bowed her head and slowly opened her eyes. She saw the line one-step ahead of her. Her mouth was half-opened and her eyes begun to open wide when she realized that she’s still in front of the exit door of the hospital. Stock there and can’t go out.