JIM…
It took every ounce of willpower to remove my hands from Olivia’s shoulders. I watched her in the mirror above the desk, as I had from the moment I’d turned her away from me. Her flushed cheeks and slightly parted lips increased the ache that had grown much further south than my pain-free chest.
I didn’t feel a twinge of guilt for looking at her shirtless or for touching her or for kissing her soft skin. I’d needed to test my theory. Doing everything I’d done and seeing her bare without feeling a bit of pain proved I was right. The oath and my connection to the pack kept me from doing anything that might be self-serving. The key to being with Olivia was believing it wasn’t in my interest but in the pack’s interest.
Winifred had told me time and again to listen to my heart. My heart told me that the voice I’d heard when speaking the oath belonged to the Lady. The same mysterious being who, according to Olivia, had been stacking the deck to ensure the Judgement happened this time around.
If the Lady had been guiding not only the pack through our Elders and our oaths, but the Judgements as well, then there was only one logical conclusion. For the sake of the pack and the Judgement, Olivia and I were meant to be together.
I wasn’t sure why the Lady had chosen me, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me from enjoying the gift she’d given me.
“Let’s go make some memories that will compete for favorite,” I said.
“I think we already have,” she said softly, then quickly held up her hand before I could take her comment as an okay to go back to what we were doing a moment ago.
“If I go with you today, do you promise to behave?” she asked.
“Nope. But I promise to listen if you tell me to cut it out.”
She sighed and shook her head. I reached out to Winifred over our private link.
Can we borrow someone’s car?
Why? she sent back.
Olivia has no good memories. None. Her whole life has been mistreatment and pain. I need to show her something good.
I don’t think—
Can you imagine dying tomorrow without one good memory to hold onto in your final moments?
There was a moment of silence.
Come get the keys.
I grinned and laced my fingers through Olivia’s.
“Winifred is going to let me drive her car. This should be fun.”
“I’m starting to believe your idea of fun is different from everyone else’s.”
I chuckled.
“You might be right.”
We left our room and walked down the hall. Winifred stood in her open door, waiting for us.
“Are you sure this is wise?” she asked, looking at my hand linked with Olivia’s. “I could go with you two.”
“We’ll be fine on our own. I promise,” I said.
“Olivia?” Winifred asked, shifting her gaze to my Mate.
“I’ll be careful with him,” Olivia said. “If anything happens, I can call you if you want to give me your number.”
Winifred rattled off her number, and Olivia repeated it back. With reluctance, Winifred handed over her keys.
“Thank you, Nana,” I said with a grin.
Stay in touch, she sent me. I love you like my own, Jim. I’ll worry the whole time you’re gone.
I leaned forward and kissed her cheek.
“I love you too, Nana.”
She sighed and said nothing more as I led Olivia away.
“You’re so lucky to have her,” Olivia said. “To have all of them.”
“You have them now, too.” I gave her hand a gentle squeeze and held the lobby door for her. Everyone had cleared out of the breakfast area already.
After wrapping her hand around my arm, I led her across the parking lot and helped her into the car.
“What should we do first? Shop or walk around?” I asked.
“Walk around. I’m not sure shopping will be much fun when I can’t see.”
“Who shopped for your clothes?” I pulled out onto the road, and followed the flow of traffic toward the downtown area.
“Blake did.”
The thought of him picking out her clothes made my hackles rise, especially when I recalled what she’d said about her nightshirt.
“He shopped for me because it gave him satisfaction to provide for me and to see me dressed the way he liked me dressed. The Mated females hated me even more because of his consideration. Their males never shopped for them. They told me it wasn’t something males liked to do.”
“Emmitt shops with Michelle every chance she gives him.” I didn’t add that he spent most of the time trying to talk her into another little black dress or more swim suits. My mouth watered at the idea of Olivia in either.
“Don’t write shopping off until you try it, all right?” I said.
“Okay. I could use a new nightshirt.”
“No way. The one you have is perfect. Just don’t open the door with it on.”
She turned her head to look at me instead of out the window.
“I think continuing to wear it would be a little dangerous for us both. If I say yes to shopping today and want a nightshirt, can I trust you to help me buy something more appropriate than what Blake did?”
I wanted to squirm with guilt like I was a cub caught stealing food from the kitchen again.
“Yes. You can trust me.” We’d have plenty of time to shop for less appropriate things after the Judgement. After she Claimed me.
Pleasant thoughts of what those items might be partially occupied my mind while I navigated the roads to the shopping district and pulled into the first parking spot I found downtown.
“Ready?” I asked.
She nodded, her attention on the buildings and people surrounding us. I got out and jogged around the front of the car to open the door for her. People already going about their day crowded the sidewalks.
Olivia got out slowly, her head turning left and right as she took in the busy street.
“I’ve never seen so many people. The ones at Blake’s complex tended to avoid me. And on the way to your home, Frank had stuck to the highways and mostly avoided the cities.”
The expression on her face didn’t quite look like wonder, though.
“And what do you think of it?” I asked.
“It’s so loud.”
I grinned.
“It is. But, sometimes loud is good.”
I threaded my fingers through hers and led her along the busy sidewalk. At the first coffee shop, I pulled her in and ordered us drinks to help keep her hand warm. Her first tentative sip and the surprise on her face made me ache to wrap her in my arms. Only the wounds on her back, not her warning to behave, stopped me.
“You like it?” I asked.
“I love it.”
“Come on. Let’s find out what else we can try.” We walked further and found a bakery. The smells coming from that place made my mouth water and reminded me of Olivia’s sweet scent. I led her inside and studied all the treats.
“There’s a lot here,” I said. “This one has a name I can’t say. It looks like a tiny pie, but not the kind with the slanted sides. This one’s sides go straight up and down. It has a fancy swirl of whipped cream on it and something stuck into it that looks like a cookie. It looks good. The one next to it…I have no idea what the card says, but it looks like someone had trouble with a layered biscuit and kind of balled it up in frustration. I’d still eat it, though.”
Olivia’s hand jerked in mine, and I glanced at her. She had her other hand over her mouth to stop from laughing aloud. The kid on the other side of the glass display case was looking at me with a mix of hesitation and mirth. I grinned and kept going, describing every pastry I saw inside the case to Olivia.
When I finished, I ordered a bear claw, the only thing I could pronounce without sounding like an idiot, then turned to Olivia.
“What do you want to try?” I asked.
“You pick for me. But not a bear claw. I’ll try yours.”
I liked that she knew I’d share with her.
“Do you like sweet or savory?” I asked.
“Both.”
I turned to the man waiting on us.
“Can you choose three more for us? Whatever you would recommend.”
When we had our four pastries, I led her to a free table. Instead of setting her plate in front of her, I kept it by me and lifted the first pastry.
“Ready?” I asked.
She leaned forward and took a bite of what I offered.
“Mmm. That’s good.”
I turned the pastry and bit where she had, eating half the concoction. The subtle hint of her taste coated my tongue and hit me hard. I nearly groaned on the spot and gripped the table with my free hand, trying to control my need to toss the pastry aside and pull Olivia into my lap.
Struggling, I reached out to the only person likely to understand.
What did it feel like the first time you drank out of Michelle’s glass? I sent Emmitt.
Heaven. Like I was finally close to her, even if only for a second. Why are you asking?
Just took a bite out of Olivia’s pastry.
Are you okay? The worry he felt came through with the message.
No. My pants feel ten sizes too small, and I’m fighting not to jump across the table and bring her to the ground. It’s so intense I don’t think I can speak out loud. I’m sitting here with a wad of food in my mouth, claws jabbing the underside of the table, and a throbbing—
But no pain? Emmitt sent.
Yes, there’s pain. Do I need to clarify the pants feeling too small?
I mean the pain you felt as an Elder.
None.
“Do I get another bite?” Olivia asked, smiling slightly.
With a shaking hand, I extended the pastry toward her and hoped no one would notice my nails. She took another dainty bite and licked her lips. A soft whoosh of air escaped me like I’d been hit.
I’m asking because this doesn’t feel right. I was there when you were struggling with Michelle. I smelled your desperation and your interest. This is more. A lot more. Like I’d die if I tried walking away from her just then; but I didn’t tell Emmitt that.
Maybe your feelings are more intense because you’re an Elder, he sent back.
Maybe.
“Don’t you want any more?” Olivia asked.
I forced myself to chew twice before I tried swallowing. The food barely went down.
“Yes. More you.”
She blushed, a pretty pink to match her sweater and reached out to steal the pastry from my hand.
“You can’t have me,” she said. “I thought we’d established that.”
“That’s what you say, but I think your Lady has different ideas.”
She froze, her hand partway to her mouth. All the color drained from her face. Her scent soured with panic and fear. The combination killed the swell of desire riding me.
“Why does that scare you?” I asked. “I thought you felt the pull toward me, too.”
“I do.” This time it was her hand shaking as she put the pastry down.
“I don’t understand, then. Did I misread something? The way you hugged me, I thought…”