“Why wouldn’t I work with you?”
“Because we’re not . . . human.”
He leaned back in the chair. “My father was the pack physician before me, and my grandfather before him. So I grew up right alongside the Boulders. They never treated me differently because of what I wasn’t.”
“Lucky you.”
“I’m sorry they were hard on you, Ness.”
“Not your fault.”
Greg’s gaze roamed over my face. “Do you know that Maggie was one of my favorite people?”
“My mother? Really?”
“We were in the same grade in school. And I was, well, a bit of a nerd, which got me bullied a lot. Maggie, she was always really quick at thinking up the best comebacks, and she was popular, so no one ever messed with her. Back in third grade and until the end of high school, she took it upon herself to be my protector.”
I frowned. “I didn’t know that.” I dug through my memories for Greg, but he didn’t feature in any. “I don’t remember you from before I left Boulder.”
“Because I went to study in Boston and then practiced there until my father died. When Heath called and asked if I’d come home, you’d been gone a year with your mom.” He steepled his fingers. “I was heartbroken when I heard . . . that she’d passed.”
My throat felt like a drawbridge was being yanked shut. “Yeah.” I whisked my lids closed a moment, breathed in slowly, then, when I felt like I’d gotten myself under control again, I opened my eyes. “Can we get this over with?”
“Yes. Of course. Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. I’m always glad to hear stories about her. To know that little pieces of her live on in other people’s hearts and minds. It’s the closest thing to getting her back.” My voice cracked. “It gets easier, right?” I fit a smile onto my lips to make them stop quivering and to make Greg stop looking at me as though I were about to break apart.
“It does.” He slid his hand over mine and squeezed my fingers before picking up the syringe. As he popped the solution into it, pounding that threatened to bring down my door had Greg turning.
I didn’t turn because I knew who was behind the pounding. My navel had tightened like a fishing knot.
I got up to let August in. When his hands gripped my shoulders, I thought he was going to shake me, but he just stood there, gaze running over my body and nostrils flaring as though to pull in my scent . . . make sure I still had one.
“You didn’t take it yet.” He was so completely out of breath that I suspected he’d run from his house to mine. His crazed eyes scanned the apartment, landed on the paraphernalia laid out on the table. He removed his fingers from my shoulders so suddenly I almost stumbled. “Greg, you can put all of it away. Ness isn’t experimenting.”
“August!” Surprise made me speak his name louder than intended.
“What?” he snapped.
“You can’t just barge in here and make decisions for me.”
He took a step nearer, even though not much distance separated us. “You are not injecting yourself with fucking poison to test out a theory.”
I planted my hands on my hips. “Sillin isn’t poison.”
“It messes with our werewolf gene, Ness. It’s poison! Ask Greg if you don’t believe me.”
“August is right,” Greg said. “It’s not lethal, but it’s not good for you.”
“I’m aware of the risks-”
“Are you?” August’s tone was so sharp that it made me blink. “Because I’m not aware of them. And I doubt Greg’s aware of them since no one’s ever taken such a high dose.”
“Morgan has, and she’s still alive. And she became an Alpha.”
A nerve ticked in his jaw. “What if she lied to you?”
“Lied to me?”
“So you’d poison yourself.”
“She doesn’t want me dead.”
“How do you know that?”
“August, you’re being completely irrational right now.”
“Because I care! I care what happens to you even though no one else in this stupid pack seems to.”
Silence settled as thickly as snow, making the air lose several degrees of warmth.
“Greg said the worst case scenario is impairing my gene for an undetermined length of time.” I didn’t want to be a halfwolf, but it beat Liam being a dead one, because even though no one was speaking about it, if Morgan had an unfair advantage over us, and we didn’t figure out what it was, she’d win the duel.
“Not exactly, Ness. I said I didn’t know. It could irreparably damage your gene, your senses, your mating link.”
Pain streaked over August’s face at that last part. He tried to disguise it by turning away from me, but I saw it.
“That halfwolf complication could become permanent,” Greg added.
“I understand,” I said at the same time as August said, “I’ll do it.” Then, “Is it the same dosage?”
My hands slipped off my hipbones. “August, no.”
“Not exactly, but frankly,” Greg said, “I’d rather give you this dose than her. It’ll still affect you, but you should burn it off quicker.”
“No!” When August started for the chair, I wrapped my fingers around his forearm. “I am not okay with this! I don’t want you to experiment on yourself.” My voice sounded so thin.
His lips flexed but didn’t produce words for ten whole heartbeats. “Everyone has to do their part for the pack. This is me doing my part.” He pried my fingers off his arm one at a time, then took a seat, pushed the sleeves of his sweat-stained navy Henley up, and laid his arm flat on the table.
“Ready?” Greg asked.
August looked at the window. “Hit me.”
I crossed my arms to make them stop trembling. When that didn’t work, I went to draw myself a glass of water. As I brought it up to my lips, water sloshed over the rim and trickled down my wrist.
There was a hollow suctioning noise-probably the cooler-and then chair legs scraped against the floor.
“Try to shift every day,” Greg said. “Once you manage, call me, and I’ll come and take a blood sample to see if any traces remain.” I heard him walk to the door, but I kept my back to him. “It shouldn’t give you any fever or seizures, but I’d feel better if someone was with you tonight. Maybe go sleep at your parents.”