“Morgan can still shift, so it wouldn’t impair Ness’s magic completely,” Lucas said.
For a moment, I wondered if we’d be dueling Morgan if Liam and I had still been together. But then I wondered why I was even contemplating this and shook my head.
“I’ll speak to Greg to see what a high dose would be,” he finally said.
As he took out his cell phone, a twinge of panic crept up my spine . . . What if it irreparably impaired my werewolf gene? What if that was the reason she was often bedridden and healed slower? I swallowed back my panic, reminding myself that Morgan had still risen to the top of shifter hierarchy.
Liam disconnected the call I’d heard no word of. “He’s going to figure out the dosage based on your weight and age, then phone you this afternoon to administer it intravenously.” He flipped his phone over and over in his hand, shadows devouring his eyes. “Even though I want you to consult me in the future, it was good work.”
“Thank you.” I nibbled on my bottom lip. “Can I leave now?”
“You can leave.”
I started to go, but before reaching the door, I glanced at him over my shoulder. “Are you happy at least? About Tamara?”
Although his lips didn’t move, inside my head I heard, I didn’t want a kid, and I didn’t want Tamara.
Pain carved his forehead. I hoped it was the shock of the news and the worry of the first trimester that was to blame. Perhaps he’d never love Tamara, but I hoped he’d grow to want and love his child.
I hoped he’d be the man his father never was.
I spent the rest of the morning buying college supplies and paint cans and brushes for the house. The only thing I ended up not buying was a laptop. I needed one, and technically, I could afford one, but the money on my account didn’t feel like my own. Since August wasn’t going to take it back, I’d decided to go speak with Nelson and Isobel about it. I was sort of dreading the conversation, especially if they didn’t know about their son’s generous donation.
After stopping by The Silver Bowl to check up on Evelyn, whose cheeks were high in color from the heat of all the simmering pots around her and the excitement of her new job, I went home fed and relaxed, ready for Greg to arrive.
He got to my place around four, a cooler swinging from his fingers. “Sorry I’m late. I went to check on Isobel.”
My blood turned to ice. “Why? Is she-Is the cancer back?”
“The cancer’s gone.” Greg smiled. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you.”
I nodded and watched as he set a syringe, a vial filled with clear liquid, and some gauze on the kitchen table.
Concern deepened the wrinkles bracketing his eyes and mouth. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Someone has to.”
“But does that someone have to be you?”
I frowned. “There’s no chance of it killing me, is there?”
He took a seat and scooted closer to the table. “No, but . . .”
Fear tiptoed into my veins and navel as I sat down beside him. “But what?”
“But I’ve never administered such a high dose, so I can’t even tell you what the side effects might be. Besides not shifting, that is.”
“How long will it block my wolf?”
“From my calculations, if all goes well, you should be back in fur before the next full moon.”
Considering we had to fight Cassandra then, that was good.
I licked my chapped lips. “And if all doesn’t go well?”
“The Sillin could stay in your system longer.”
“Like another month?” I couldn’t be Liam’s Second if that happened . . . Someone else would have to be. Could another Boulder take my place? Were we allowed to switch Seconds? Perhaps Lucas-
“It could affect your magic forever,” Greg said in such a low voice I almost missed his words.
“You mean, turn me into a halfwolf?”
He nodded.
“I thought that could only happen after prolonged use?”
Greg twirled the vial, squinting at the liquid sloshing inside as though seeking an answer within its clear depths. “I don’t know. I’ve never administered so much Sillin.” He fisted the vial before placing it carefully back on the table. “Your parents would be so angry with me right now.”
I was certain they’d be mad at a whole bunch of people if they’d been alive, the first one being me, but they weren’t here. Besides, if it meant saving Liam’s life, I’d endure being a halfwolf for a while.
“I’m surprised Jeb’s letting you do this,” Greg added.
“Jeb doesn’t know, and I’d like it to stay that way. He’s got plenty enough to worry about.”
Greg studied me for a beat. “Any way I can talk you out of this?”
I shook my head. “We need to understand.”
“But why you? Why don’t I call the River medic and see if his pack can test it out-”
“They might be our allies, Greg, but I don’t trust the Rivers. Besides, if this experiment could potentially harm one of their wolves, why would they agree?”
“Because they hate Morgan.”
I worried the inside of my cheek. “They’ll ask for something in return.” Ingrid wanting to marry August came to mind. “Favors never come for free.”
“You’re right. Favors are never free.” He sighed. “What about another Boulder?”
“I’d never forgive myself if this had a lasting effect on someone from my pack.” I tapped my fingernail against the tabletop. “So just lay it all out there. How else do you think this injection can affect me?”
“It’ll dim your senses. And, possibly, it’ll affect your mating link.”
I suddenly felt a lot warmer. I gathered my hair and rolled the strands up into a bun. “You know everything that goes on in the pack, huh?”
“Pretty much.”
“How come you work with us?”